Partner smokes and I'm so paranoid about SIDS!

[pradabooties]

Hi all!

My bub is 4 weeks old now and despite being told hundreds of times during my pregnancy that my partner needed to quit smoking he's still doing it

With that aside I am very paranoid about SIDS. Every single suggestion I see that reduces SIDS from having a fan in the room to exclusively breastfeeding I'm doing it! I'm following every guideline and I constantly check on bub while she's sleeping but the only thing not checked off the list is that her parents shouldn't smoke...

I'm really onto him about it, after he smokes he washes his hands and takes off his shirt to hold her. He smokes outside nowhere near bub and I - this was also the case when I was pregnant - but I'm still so angry and worried.

I just want to know if anyone else's partner smokes or has successfully stopped? I want to know if at least the smoking precautions he's taking would help at all? I've read plenty of things saying it's only dangerous if bub inhales the smoke or from his clothes but I still worry. Of course I'm still trying to get him to stop but he works a stressful job 70 hours a week and has smoked since he was 10 (!!!) so it's an ongoing BATTLE

Ps. Just to be clear I am not and have never been a smoker

 

[AP]

As an ex smoker I can say it is terribly hard, and having a new baby is stressful so he may feel more dependant on cigarettes than ever before. I appreciate your concerns though. The thing is, washing your hands and changing your clothes is all very well but remind your partner that it all seeps through pores and hair too, it clings to your skin all over. You'll notice it more than he will, being a non smoker.

In terms of giving up, vaping was the best move for me and my husband. I only vaped for 2 weeks and gave up that too. I'm completely smoke free and have been for 2 years this year! My husband still vapes on the lowest level.

He can also see his GP for help. Often it's hard to get into that quitting mind frame so he needs to be ready. Remind him of the financial gain too, as well as the health benefits.

 

[_Meep_]

I quit smoking as soon as I found out I was pregnant at three weeks, but my OH continued for a couple of months. He did eventually give up, but I then found out a few months ago that he had started smoking weed again, and had lied to me about it for six months.

He is still doing so, but now we just don't talk about it. He does it once in the morning as far as I am aware - as he is a dog whisperer, he is outdoors all day, so it doesn't impact on our lives - but it does annoy me, and I do feel it is selfish, so I can totally understand where you are coming from.

SIDS is rare. It is unlikely, especially with the precautions he is taking, that your risk will be greatly raised.

However, have you thought about investing in a baby monitor with a sensor pad to monitor your baby's breathing, so that you can have some peace of mind and a bit more rest?

The one we have slides under the mattress. Then the receiver ticks with each breath and sounds an alarm if no movement is detected. You can also get portable ones that clip onto a nappy.

There is no guarantee that either of these devices will prevent SIDS - but at least you would have the chance, should the alarm sound, to do SOMETHING.

It really helped me in the early days - if I woke in the night, and could hear the ticking, then I knew she was still ok and didn't need to check her. The alarm has never gone off.

Just a thought.

 

[bumpy_j]

According to my Heath Visitor, the guildlines refer to someone who smokes actually in the house itself.

 

[pradabooties]

Thanks everyone, good to get other perspectives on it. I have calmed down a bit but of course still making him keep up precautions. I really hope he stops sometime though!