Patents of children with ADHD, questions

[Eternal]

When you child was a toddler did they have signs?

We're they difficult to toilet train?

I've now had more than a dozen people say they think he has it, health visitor gas mentioned but said too young to be officially diagnosed, the play school, yesterday his nursery, church sunday school, my mil who works in a school with special needs, and several other family and friends, most,y teachers, nurses. He is too young to know but any tips on how I can cope with a toddler.

I'm feeling lost and upset, he is clever, Bright, caring, sharing etc, but is just exceptionally busy, noisy and has no attention span, although he is slowly improving.

 

[AimeeM]

Well my son has ADHD according to the psychiatrist and also Aspergers. My husband is undiagnosed ADHD and I am pretty sure my 3 year old has ADHD but as you say too young for much intervention at the moment.
My eldest as a child was a mixed bag which is why I question the ADHD diagnosis and think it could be just Aspergers. As a small child he was hard work, he wouldn't go to bed, spent most of the night awake and walking round the house, he was up at the crack of dawn, he used to run off all the time in any direction. He could sit and watch a film he really liked all the way through though or really concentrate on books or jigsaws. He was fully potty trained at 2.
As he got older he settled down but he still can not sustain attention in most areas unless it is something he enjoys. He lays awake until late at night as he can't sleep, he wakes up early.
DS2 who is 3 I have no doubt has ADHD, as a baby he never slept, in the bath he used to kick his legs from birth, so fast and hard like a machine the whole time he was in there. He won't go to bed either, wonders the house at night, doesn't and never has napped even as a baby, doesn't play with toys, can't sit through one page of a book with out jumping up, can't sit at a table for a meal, runs off everywhere all the time he wont even start potty training yet. It is hard to imagine but his energy level and inability to sustain ANY attention to anything other than Mr Tumble is much more than the normal toddler level. But you always find people who say it is normal.
If nursery are noticing it too then the HV can refer you to camhs, we are just waiting to see how my 3 year old gets on at new playgroup and if they have the same concerns the HV will refer him, she already said she will but yet again it is that thing of they will probably just 'watch and wait' due to his age.
I know how you feel though it is so frustrating to not get any help and it is so hard. Coping becomes difficult as the normal methods of dicipline aren't effective as adhders don't learn from them. The way the specialist told us was that an instant reward system was better for someone with ADHD but this was when dealing with my 9 year old?
Which part are you struggling with most? Is it the endless energy or sleep etc? It is also a misconception that kids with ADHD are badly behaved as usually they aren't but can get that way when they are older as they are lead to believe they are bad and tend to begin to believe it. Also the majority are very bright, so long as they are doing something that interests them. I don't know if I have been of any help but I am here if you would like any advice a chat xx

 

[Eternal]

Well my son has ADHD according to the psychiatrist and also Aspergers. My husband is undiagnosed ADHD and I am pretty sure my 3 year old has ADHD but as you say too young for much intervention at the moment.
My eldest as a child was a mixed bag which is why I question the ADHD diagnosis and think it could be just Aspergers. As a small child he was hard work, he wouldn't go to bed, spent most of the night awake and walking round the house, he was up at the crack of dawn, he used to run off all the time in any direction. He could sit and watch a film he really liked all the way through though or really concentrate on books or jigsaws. He was fully potty trained at 2.
As he got older he settled down but he still can not sustain attention in most areas unless it is something he enjoys. He lays awake until late at night as he can't sleep, he wakes up early.
DS2 who is 3 I have no doubt has ADHD, as a baby he never slept, in the bath he used to kick his legs from birth, so fast and hard like a machine the whole time he was in there. He won't go to bed either, wonders the house at night, doesn't and never has napped even as a baby, doesn't play with toys, can't sit through one page of a book with out jumping up, can't sit at a table for a meal, runs off everywhere all the time he wont even start potty training yet. It is hard to imagine but his energy level and inability to sustain ANY attention to anything other than Mr Tumble is much more than the normal toddler level. But you always find people who say it is normal.
If nursery are noticing it too then the HV can refer you to camhs, we are just waiting to see how my 3 year old gets on at new playgroup and if they have the same concerns the HV will refer him, she already said she will but yet again it is that thing of they will probably just 'watch and wait' due to his age.
I know how you feel though it is so frustrating to not get any help and it is so hard. Coping becomes difficult as the normal methods of dicipline aren't effective as adhders don't learn from them. The way the specialist told us was that an instant reward system was better for someone with ADHD but this was when dealing with my 9 year old?
Which part are you struggling with most? Is it the endless energy or sleep etc? It is also a misconception that kids with ADHD are badly behaved as usually they aren't but can get that way when they are older as they are lead to believe they are bad and tend to begin to believe it. Also the majority are very bright, so long as they are doing something that interests them. I don't know if I have been of any help but I am here if you would like any advice a chat xx

Thank you so much for all that.

I don't know how convinced he has it or not, he certainly is much more busy that other children.

He sleeps perfect
He has so much energy it's impossible to wear him out
He can't concertante or keep attention very well
He uses the toilet for poo but no concept for wee, he will sit in a pool of urine and not care
He does watch occasional tv programmes, he does watch occasion films, he loves books, jigsaws, lego etc,
He plays rough
He forgets things

Generally he is just busy, always busy, climbing running etc. he doesn't have the time to do anything he doesn't want to.

It's been mentioned so many times now and eve playgroup are saying unless I get him diagnosed he will be labeled the naughty child.

 

[AimeeM]

The thing I have found us that they get labelled naughty either way. It is a shame that people still stigmatise children with ADHD. He does sound full of energy and with the nursery talking to you about it, it may be worth taking it further as they are trained to recognise things for early intervention and will have an idea of who might need further investigation. I do think though that it can just be a case of a high energy toddler, I am still holding this hope for my ds2 as it could be just that they do have extra amounts of energy that will get better with age. I think it is a good sign your son sleeps well as kids with these problems tend to be horrible sleepers as children.

 

[Eternal]

The thing I have found us that they get labelled naughty either way. It is a shame that people still stigmatise children with ADHD. He does sound full of energy and with the nursery talking to you about it, it may be worth taking it further as they are trained to recognise things for early intervention and will have an idea of who might need further investigation. I do think though that it can just be a case of a high energy toddler, I am still holding this hope for my ds2 as it could be just that they do have extra amounts of energy that will get better with age. I think it is a good sign your son sleeps well as kids with these problems tend to be horrible sleepers as children.

Thanks. He sees a physio due to extra mobility in his legs which cause him to in toe and we ways go on about how all of them are very busy. She just says on a few years encourage him in sports. it's difficult as I have twins too so getting out is challenging.

 

[AimeeM]

I can imagine. My eldest also has hypermobility and his left foot also turns in. He struggles with sport and also walking in general due to leg pain. Its hard when things they encourage are near on impossible to do. I find drawing a good outlet for my elder two. I always think too that when they start school it takes some of the pressure off. Its hard being a mum especially to boisterous boys!

 

[Fluxuspoem]

They cant diagnose ADHD before the age of 5 which is very difficult as people are quick to judge and say stupid things like the "naughty" child.

If your instict is saying that you should look into it, then perhaps you can get it checked out through your local developmental team ( GP referral will be rquired).

He could though be just your typical happy and busy toddler! If in any doubt I would get it checked out x

 

[Eternal]

Thanks both, will make an appointment.

 

[ellismum]

I definitely agree that you should get a referral. El's was at 2 1/2 for many reasons with the main being him showing signs of Autism however this has now been disregarded although we are still assessed and mentored regularly for behavioural problems. He ticks nearly all the boxes for ADHD and whilst no diagnosis is made he's "in the system" so to speak and the support and guidance we are getting is brilliant. xxx