people being presumptious about your 3rd or more?

[kellyrae]

Why do people just presume your 3rd child or more is unplanned or a mistake?

All my pregnancies are planned anyway as they have to be due to my diabetes and wanting the best possible outcome.

1st and 2nd pregnancies they are like "yey big congrats thats great news!!!"

3rd and its "oh congrats was it planned?"

Makes me feel like I am the only one happy about it...
I mean does it really matter? Just be happy for us or try to pretend and hide your disappointed reaction...

Anyone else had this....mine has been from family and close friends which makes it worse

 

[xxyjadexx]

I'm pregnant with my 3rd and haven't told anyone yet because I know that will be their reaction!

 

[xxmyheartxx]

With my 3rd everyone was like ooo an accident or was it planned, none of there bloody business, now trying for number 4! Cant wait for there reactions especially my nan who only had my dad,its no ones business but oursxxx

 

[sethsmummy]

Nobody knows we were trying or this baby. all friends and family (bar 2 close friends) think it was unplanned. we knew the reaction we'd get to just went with the say it wasnt planned route.

it sucks we have to think of these things though BUT as long as your happy hun it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks xx

 

[emily3399]

We are expecting number 4 and ive generally had positive reactions excluding a few like one of my friends said don't you think 3 is enough. I find it really disheartening when there becomes a point when you worry about telling people because we are afraid of their reaction, I often sit and think I actually don't care what people think I am a fully grown woman in a stable relationship of 5 years of which my partner has a good career if I chose to have a baby or not wether it be number 4 or 14 is not your worry I will be raising and providing for it so get over yourself...... hahaha wow that felt good lol

 

[Nessicle]

Yep that's been the reaction for us - although ours wasn't planned this time we're still happy about it which people cant seem to understand. Only one relative has said congratulations the rest have said "what you going to do?" or "omg how will you manage"

 

[NellyLou]

It's funny, a bunch of my friends and I were discussing this the other day. A bunch of them who have two girls or two boys said people were always asking if they would try for a third. But then everyone I know who has three gets asked if they're crazy and all these other things. MY SIL will be having her third tomorrow, and last week was out with her other two children and was told by a stranger that they hoped she was just babysitting! People are just clueless and they are usually idiots.

 

[Keera1Aiden2]

We're expecting our 3rd and when i've told a few family members they've asked if it was planned and I was like of course, we wanted 3.

 

[calm81]

We're expecting our 3rd child and it was PLANNED.

The responses I got was," are you crazy? Three!" and "was this an oopsie?"

Also, I've noticed that with the other two EVERYONE was soooo doting, begging to plan baby showers, wanting to be at the doctors to hear the gender. This time there is no excitement, I'm only 4 weeks and 5 days so hopefully the excitement will unveil itself sooner or later, but geesh.

I feel like saying,"sorry the 3rd birth is too boring, I guess we need to change things up a bit."

 

[NellyLou]

We're expecting our 3rd child and it was PLANNED.

The responses I got was," are you crazy? Three!" and "was this an oopsie?"

Also, I've noticed that with the other two EVERYONE was soooo doting, begging to plan baby showers, wanting to be at the doctors to hear the gender. This time there is no excitement, I'm only 4 weeks and 5 days so hopefully the excitement will unveil itself sooner or later, but geesh.

I feel like saying,"sorry the 3rd birth is too boring, I guess we need to change things up a bit."

As a third child, I don't think this has changed in 30+ years. My siblings both have all these nice gifts they received when they were born, nice baby books etc. I had no gifts and a duotang for a baby book lol.

 

[mammag]

Most people I know, especially family and close friends are very excited for my third child, it's the strangers, or the people I barely know that have the snide comments, like "don't you know what causes that by now?" Sometimes you just want to say, yes bitch, I do, clomid, injections, mid cycle internal ultrasounds, heart break after heart break and 3 devastating miscarriages, but instead I just smile politely, put a hand on my growing miracle, and change the subject. Screw people. Lol.

 

[calm81]

We're expecting our 3rd child and it was PLANNED.

The responses I got was," are you crazy? Three!" and "was this an oopsie?"

Also, I've noticed that with the other two EVERYONE was soooo doting, begging to plan baby showers, wanting to be at the doctors to hear the gender. This time there is no excitement, I'm only 4 weeks and 5 days so hopefully the excitement will unveil itself sooner or later, but geesh.

I feel like saying,"sorry the 3rd birth is too boring, I guess we need to change things up a bit."

As a third child, I don't think this has changed in 30+ years. My siblings both have all these nice gifts they received when they were born, nice baby books etc. I had no gifts and a duotang for a baby book lol.

Haha, as I recall looking through my parents photo albums, my siblings had the professional baby photos done and I had a polaroid with me sitting on a stuffed animal in the family living room.

PsssT….I'm their favorite now.

 

[edthedog]

I've had this - people clearly thought we were either irresponsible or just plain bonkers! I don't understand why it has become so socially unacceptible to have more than two children?

I couldn't give a rat's ass what other people think - I am just as excited about this baby as the other two, maybe even a smidge more as I know what I have to look forward to!

xx

 

[stickylizard]

We already have three and when people see how close they are they say how crazy we are etc then they go "nice to have them all together so its done with" err whose to say we wanted to stop at three?! It seems to be so unheard of to have more than 2 or 3. 60 years ago 10 kids wasn't blinked at! I had a BFP on Thurs so am around 5 weeks and too scared to make a ticker cus I'm so superstitious! Can't wait to see the reactions...

 

[LoveMy2Boys2]

Ugh I thought maybe it was just me and my life lol.... I'm almost 30 and I have 2 already.... This is my 3rd, half the immediate family was over joyed and I yet to tell my half because I know they will be so negative ! It's quite depressing really.... Way to rain on my parade!!! I'm a great mother, we are set financially, I get to stay home and raise my children, never ask parents for babysitting help , only when they offer.... Don't rely on anyone ... Because I chose to have children.... Because I WANTED children to raise and it's my dream to have a big family..... Why can't people just understand its that simple!? My friends either have 1 child or still working on a marriage and no children so I am way ahead of the game:/ I thought my best friend would be happy for me but she didn't even say co graduations. All I got was an "o geez " "what are u gonna do" I still can't believe it..... I make it loud and clear how happy I am..... I truly think the negative people are just jealous because they want more but can't handle another.....or wish they had it in them to be happy moms like us
Don't rain on our parade!!!! Yaye for 3+!!! Big families = Big Dreams come true

 

[Catmat]

This is my third after a 5 year gap. It was most definitely planned. Everyone who knows me well knows this, but i am sure there are those who think it was an accident. I really don't care as I know all the important people in my life are very excited. Plus people always have something to say, some are just ruder...

 

[Layka]

I think some ppl just can't imagine having more than two (I'm one of those) so they open their mouth and that crap comes out (I can't imagine ever asking such a rude qn under any circumstance!)

 

[Menelly]

With my 3rd everyone was like ooo an accident or was it planned, none of there bloody business, now trying for number 4! Cant wait for there reactions especially my nan who only had my dad,its no ones business but oursxxx

"Why yes. Yes, we were totally having SEX WITH PURPOSE. Would you like to see my charts? Let me tell you all about cervical mucus, why they look like egg whites, and ferning. I really prefer Preseed to Conceive Plus. What? Wait! Where are you going?"

I'm really snotty when people get into my sex life. You ask about whether it was "planned" and I'll be sure to let you know just how planned baby was!

 

[Nessicle]

What I don't understand is when it became socially acceptable to ask if it was planned or not?! What the hell has it got to do with them?

 

[stickylizard]

When I was still working a couple of months ago, I was in a greengrocer and part of my job was lugging big heavy boxes and bags of veg and fruit up and down stairs. So I had to tell my boss the minute I found out I was pregnant, and I didn't say to keep it schtum so she told my colleagues who were all happy for me etc. However, my boss then asked "are you Roman Catholic?" Err, NO we just want lots of kids! Then a week later I miscarried and called in sick to work, and she did me a favour by letting the others know and again they were supportive and said sorry...

But there was one girl who was on holiday at the time, and when she came back I decided to quit as it put things in perspective and I was worse off working and didn't wanna miss my babies growing up - my youngest was only 8 months. So on my last day I said to this girl outside the shop at 5 o clock "well I'll see you soon" and she went "yeah next time I see you you'll be walking around totally massive" and I gathered she didn't know so I said "oh yeah, um well that pregnancy didn't work out" and she literally shouted so the boys packing up the stalls could hear and everyone walking by "WHAT?! Did you abort it?!" I was like wtf?! No I bloody didn't, I would never do that, it just didn't make it. She didn't seem to get how insensitive that was! People are just crazy. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I was only 20, and when I sat him down to tell my dad he said "oh right, so is there just a pill you have to take to sort that out then?" :O I said "no, we want the baby!" and he went "OH. Oh. Ok." like it was so unbelievable that we would want to keep it! He didn't know we had been TTC for 18 months cus he would have disapproved because we were so young. But still! When I told him about the second pregnancy he said "oh so all the stuff about your cysts on your ovaries was bollocks then!" and with my third "well, I suppose if that's what you want for your life then congratulations".

PEOPLE!!!!!