Picked our name but worried about offending my neighbour!!!

[macca197831]

We love the name Orla for a girl but our neighbours daughter who is 6 is called Orla.

We don't mix socially but are friendly when we see each other and will chat in the street etc. My husband isn't worried about using it but I feel really uncomfortable and I know I would feel awkward when we bring her home and they asked what we called her!!!

Would you go ahead and use the name? Would you be offended if you were in my neighbours shoes?

 

[Amygdala]

I say go for it! Your neighbors might not be in your life for long for all you know and baby's name is forever. I wouldn't be offended either if I was them, I'd be flattered that you though my daughter's name was nice enough to use for yours.

 

[Mrsmac02]

Not at all, I think I'd be a little bit chuffed! If you and DH love it, go for it. Like you say, its not like you mix socially xx

 

[LoraLoo]

Deffo use it! If you feel awkward you could maybe mention it before hand to her?

 

[JJKCB]

the only reason it may feel odd is that its not the most common name

when i was born (89/90)
70% of girls had the middle name Louise
and
42% had the first name Rachel

so your neighbors kid having the same name wasn't unusual

 

[wannabemomy37]

I agree with what everyone else has said - I'd be flattered that you thought the name was nice enough to use as your own daughter's name!

If you feel super awkward, I like the suggestion of mentioning it to her beforehand just to read her response - if she seems super offended by it then that's when I might feel a little worried; but still may or may not go through with it if I loved the name anyways...

All in all the choice is yours and there will always be opinions (good and bad) on names, as well as other things, but sadly that is how the world is these days.

 

[huskergrl]

Go for it! Like someone else said, they most likely aren't going to be your neighbors forever and you don't mix socially. I wouldn't be offended.

 

[TwilightAgain]

Use it if you wish if you're worried then perhaps pop round and let her know what you're thinking

 

[MariposaTam]

I agree with mentioning it to the neighbor first... Only because it is an unusual name and I myself like unusual names precisely because they are not common. I wouldn't be offended, but I'm not so sure that I'd really like another kid in the neighborhood sharing my child's name. I just value individuality I guess but that is just me, someone else may just be flattered!

 

[onetwothreebp]

I agree with mentioning it to the neighbor first... Only because it is an unusual name and I myself like unusual names precisely because they are not common. I wouldn't be offended, but I'm not so sure that I'd really like another kid in the neighborhood sharing my child's name. I just value individuality I guess but that is just me, someone else may just be flattered!

At the same time, though, you can't control what somebody names their kid. I don't think I'd mention it to the neighbour. If it's a name you love, then go for it. What if she is offended and says "don't you dare name your child that!!" .. Are you going to listen to her? She probably won't even be your neighbour for life and if you don't mix socially with her, who cares what she thinks? Choose what YOU love.

I chose the name Asher for my son because I liked the meaning and it was different. However, since his birth, I now know 4 other little boys with the same name!

 

[daneuse27]

This is a tough one! I picked an unusual name for my daughter (probably slightly more common than Orla but still you rarely ever hear it.) For that reason.. yes, I probably would be offended if a neighbour, acquaintance or even facebook friend chose the same name. That doesnt necessarily mean though that it should stop you from choosing it - as others said, they may not always be your neighbours but she will always be your daughter. Also, maybe they're cooler than me and wouldn't be offended at all.

Ask yourself how much their feelings/opinions about it will affect your decision. You could either do away with Orla or make it a middle name for their sake, but would you regret it?

This is tough, hope you can decide something soon x

PS. Although I admit to being offended, I really agree with the previous poster saying that you need to focus on your feelings and what you love.

 

[Tasha]

I wouldnt worry about. My Mum's neighbour picked Morgan after our Morgan as she said it was such a lovely name and unusual (here), it didnt bother me at all.

 

[LoraLoo]

I just understand how anyone can get offended- you dont have copyright on the name

 

[daneuse27]

I just understand how anyone can get offended- you dont have copyright on the name

Maybe "offended" isn't the right word, but I might feel pretty disappointed. I can't help that I would, but that would probably be the case. But this is because I went out of my way to choose an uncommon name.

BUT as I said in my post, that shouldn't be her reason for not picking the name she loves (might be different if they were close friends or relatives.)

 

[Andypanda6570]

No I would not be offended if I was your neighbor . My SIL has 3 boys just had her girl in November and named her after my angel baby that I lost at 22 weeks, she didn't even ask us how we would feel about this . This was 5 months ago and we don't talk. Maybe if she would have came to me and asked or did it in memory of my daughter things would be different, I don't know.

Yes, it is true nobody owns a name but when you loose a baby and someone does this to you and gives you a daily reminder of your loss, I think it is wrong.

In your case the child is alive , you like the name and yes I would go for it. If it is bothering you then maybe you should talk to her..

All The Best

 

[Lettuce]

Aw, I'd be pretty chuffed if someone liked my daughters name! ;-) in fact I love it when a grown up Jennifer comes over and gets excited, they usually say they loved their name.
It's not that unusual name here (I know 5 orlas) but given the age gap too, its unlikely she would be bothered! I'd just go for it, its a lovely name.
Tbh, I never really understood the "my name" thing either. I would understand if it was in Andys position. (Cos that's a stupid, mean, unnecessary thing to do) but in most cases its just people liking the same name! Even if its unusual, you kinda have to think you inspired people!

 

[JJKCB]

No I would not be offended if I was your neighbor . My SIL has 3 boys just had her girl in November and named her after my angel baby that I lost at 22 weeks, she didn't even ask us how we would feel about this . This was 5 months ago and we don't talk. Maybe if she would have came to me and asked or did it in memory of my daughter things would be different, I don't know.

Yes, it is true nobody owns a name but when you loose a baby and someone does this to you and gives you a daily reminder of your loss, I think it is wrong.

In your case the child is alive , you like the name and yes I would go for it. If it is bothering you then maybe you should talk to her..

All The Best

are you the other half of a different thread posted a while ago asking if it was inappropriate to name you child after after a recently lost pregnancy in the family?

 

[Andypanda6570]

No I would not be offended if I was your neighbor . My SIL has 3 boys just had her girl in November and named her after my angel baby that I lost at 22 weeks, she didn't even ask us how we would feel about this . This was 5 months ago and we don't talk. Maybe if she would have came to me and asked or did it in memory of my daughter things would be different, I don't know.

Yes, it is true nobody owns a name but when you loose a baby and someone does this to you and gives you a daily reminder of your loss, I think it is wrong.

In your case the child is alive , you like the name and yes I would go for it. If it is bothering you then maybe you should talk to her..

All The Best

are you the other half of a different thread posted a while ago asking if it was inappropriate to name you child after after a recently lost pregnancy in the family?

No that definitely was not me , I would never do that..

I know the thread you are talking about, it was another woman wanting to name her baby the same name as her SIL's sister who had a loss.

 

[JJKCB]

No I would not be offended if I was your neighbor . My SIL has 3 boys just had her girl in November and named her after my angel baby that I lost at 22 weeks, she didn't even ask us how we would feel about this . This was 5 months ago and we don't talk. Maybe if she would have came to me and asked or did it in memory of my daughter things would be different, I don't know.

Yes, it is true nobody owns a name but when you loose a baby and someone does this to you and gives you a daily reminder of your loss, I think it is wrong.

In your case the child is alive , you like the name and yes I would go for it. If it is bothering you then maybe you should talk to her..

All The Best

are you the other half of a different thread posted a while ago asking if it was inappropriate to name you child after after a recently lost pregnancy in the family?

No that definitely was not me , I would never do that..

oh i didn't mean you doing that, im sure you wouldn't hunny

was just wondering if that post was by your SIL although i suppose that would be a big coincidence