Plagued by "But what if.....?" questions, anyone else?

[Faithopelove]

Miscarried a month ago, and am waiting for AF (although I did have 6 days [my normal period length] of light brown spotting...however the doc didn't think it was my period since it happened only 3 weeks post mmc) to happen to TTC again! It was my first pregnancy and we were SO excited and are really eager to start a family!

...except I'm also SCARED to TTC again!

I'm exhausted from all the "but what if..." questions that run through my mind after the mmc. "But what if I'm not physically ready? But what if I'm not emotionally/mentally ready? But what if my husbands not emotionally ready? But what if I have an infection and don't know it? But what if I've already had AF and didn't recognize it? But what if we have a hard time conceiving and that makes the grief worse? But what if I CAN'T conceive?" etc etc etc. Anyone else??

 

[ScorpioLoz]

The fact that you did conceive goes to show you will again. That was my outlook.

Whatever bleeding a woman has after a mc is not considered a proper period until the second lot of bleeding. So your spotting was one to be ignored. The next one will be very much there. Hopefully in a month or so.

If you feel that you want to get checked out for infections, go to your dr. They are there to reassure you. You know your body best. However, have a think of why you think you could have an infection. They're not easy to contract as our bodies are continuously self cleaning.

Have a chat with the hubby, talk about do you feel ready, would it be a 'replacement' or would it be #2, how to approach each other with the sensitivity of the issue. I found it easier not to tell my other half "I'm approaching ovulation" otherwise he would've felt pressured into it.

It is totally natural to feel scared (I cried when I had intercourse for first time after through overwhelming emotions!) but you need to understand that it's ok to quickly move on too. Some people may say you're over it too quick but you're not.

7 months on I still think of baby #1 and I will on my due date at the end of the month even though I'm pregnant now.

I wish you all the luck xxx

 

[Mummy2B1989]

I had a BO and mc in nov and started trying straight away. Had the same feeling and thoughts of u but I was soo desperate to conceive again I ignored them. I got my bfp last sunday and the what ifs are worse now. What if I go to hosp for early scan and havean empty sac again?

What if its a sticky then dies? Its so horrible

 

[Jenn81481]

If you keep worrying about all the things that can go wrong, you will never get to experience all the things that can go right. I never had a MC, so I do not know how that feels like, but I have lost my baby almost 2 months ago, and am going to try again in June. I do have fears that the same thing is going to happen again, but I really want a family and be a mother again.

 

[ScorpioLoz]

but I really want a family and be a mother again.

You will always be a mother Hun. Sorry for your loss x

 

[SnowGal]

My daughter died at 26 week. I have had sooo many what ifs. and now that we are TTC again its even worse. I just try to focus on What IS and take it day by day.