please advice being a surrogate

[pixiebaby87]

hi everybody, this is my first post i came here because i dont really know where to turn?

my sister lives in australia(me in uk) her and her husband have been trying to concieve now for 7 years with no luck firstly she was told they thought she was losing babies really early and could not carry...

we talked and i offered to be her incubator for their baby. she said shed discuss it with him and theyd work out whether shed move back to the uk.

just got a phone call this morning , she recently went for an op to remove cysts off her ovaries. she burst out crying and said they have told her that the eggs shes producing she has next to nil chance of concieving

i absoloutly didnt know what to say. the way she was speaking she sounds almost like she resented me for being able to have children, said i didnt know how lucky i was to have my 2 children..it really hurt , i love my children more than anything and i know how lucky i am to have them!

i asked her was there no other possible way? but she simply cannot afford it

the only solution i can think off is becoming pregnant with his *swimmers* and my eggs , i donk know how i feel about this.(but it would be free)

i do know shed make the best mum..? please help i want to help her so much m jsut so confused


sorry for the long post xxxx hugs nic

 

[dontworry]

I think it would be an amazing thing to be surrogate for someone you're so close to! But nobody can tell you that you should or shouldn't. There's a lot of factors that go into it, you know? Do you have easy pregnancies? Are you relatively healthy? Are you planning on having more children? Would you be able to give birth to a child that is half of you, and then give it away?

Personally, I would do it. But I don't know your situation! I've just always wanted to be a surrogate for someone. The opportunity to give someone you love, something this special, would just be a miracle.

Best wishes. x

 

[Bittersweet]

Firsltly I wouldn't listen too much to what she said about your children shel e hurting and lashing out.
You need to consider that:
You'd carry a child for 9months feel him or her kick feel every movement give birth to him or her and then you'd have to let someone else take the baby home.
Also remember that the baby will be half yours. And he or she will go live I. Australia.


Personally for my sister I would do it. But you really need to think of the effects in you on your sister and on yor family as a whole.

 

[pixiebaby87]

thanks so much ladies.

my maine concern is the baby being half mine i know if the baby was biologically theirs i would 10% seperate myself from that!

spoke to my o/h and hes happy for me to offer my eggs and body as an incubator. so i really appreciate this as i know this will be hard on him.

as far as i know if/when the baby is born my sister wants to move back over here for some time to have support of the family and eventually back to australia.

somebody mentioned a donor egg but im afraid the main problem is the cost.. i dont mean to sound gruesome but with his swimmers i could insert them myself at no charge
she had to have some surgery done as she has cysts on her ovaries. so i know right not shes thinking ivf isnt an option due to cost

borh pregnancies were fine until deliver , on both occoasions my cervix moved down. the first deliver was worse as we did not expect it. it was only after the midwife told me how dangerous it was..

but i imagine from the 2 deliveries they would possibly do a c-section??

my first child is extremely healthy. second had a breathing condition(not genetic) so there would be no immediate worry for the babies health.

im going to speak with her and offer them, i am so lucky to have my two and i dont take that for granted.so to offer her this when i know how long she has wanted a baby is nothing