Please Don`t Judge

[Abbys_Mummy]

HI i am 20wks pregnant and going for a amnio my last born child had alot of birth defects and passed away it was her 1st bday today if there is any birth defects with this baby i am going to terminate has anyone had any experience with this i am so scared and don`t know what to do

 

[anita665]

I'm really sorry about what you've been through and I can understand your feelings about keeping another if anything is wrong.

I've not personally had an amnio but I know there are lots of girls on here who have who should be able to put your mind at rest a little. I know they're meant to be very safe now and you get the results quite quickly.

I hope it all goes well and you have a healthy baby.

 

[Phexia]

Oh honey, I don't have any advice only hugs. I'm really sorry for your loss.

 

[cupcake]

i dont judge you at all, the hardest thing in life is for a parent to lose a child, i can completely understand why you would not want to go down such a road
good luck with the amnio. i hope that it turns out great for you.

 

[suzan]

I am sorry hunny.
I hope everything turns out fine with this baby.. you and your baby will be in my thoughts and prayers..

 

[logie68]

You have no reason to feel guilty. No matter what happens, you know you are acting in the best interests. To lose a child is the hardest thing in the world - you are acting in the most maternal way possible. I know that I would feel exactly the same way. I dont' do this very often, but I'll be praying for you. x

 

[Rumpskin]

Oh lovely, sending you a hug

 

[niknaknat]

Good luck chick I hope everything goes well for you

 

[vaada]

i dont think anyone should judge you iv been through a similar expierince and althogh i wouldnt make the same choice .i completly understand it

 

[Samantha675]

Oh love, I hope for you that your LO is healthy. I wound never judge anyone for making such a hard decision! A friend of my mother's had to make this decision when they found out their baby had down's. It killed them, but they knew deep down they made the right decision to terminate. The had one child already, so it would not have been fair to that child, to them or the baby. That is what you have to know, deep down, it is the best decision for all involved. They did go on to have a healthy son. My thoughts are with you!

 

[jo27]

No-one should judge it's totally your decision if and that's a big IF theres somethin wrong i really hope everything is fine for you x

 

[AppleBlossom]

i agree it would be the hardest decision to make but if my unborn baby had a serious defect such as downs syndrome or spina bifida I think I would terminate. Not because I wouldn't want to have to cope with them but because i don't believe it's fair to bring a child into the world knowing they're going to struggle and not have a particulaly good quality of life. I hope all works out for you =]

 

[tanya29]

i have got a similar decision to make now soon as i have been told my babys at high risk of being deformed due to breaking waters and my womb constricting him...i have made the decision that if i make it to 24 wks and my baby is born with severe deformities then i want them to let him go...it will kill me but it would hurt me a lot more to watch him growing up like that knowing i done it for my own selfish needs as i couldnt bear to lose him...i would never forgive myself...its a decision only you can make nobody can decide whats best for your baby apart from you...

good luck...hope evrything works out well

 

[Sinead]

I think you are really brave for thinking like that, as to me it shows that you love your child so much that you don't want him/her to have a life that he/she cannot cope with. I hope and pray that there is nothing wrong with your child. Good luck

 

[honeybunch2k7]

I hope everything's ok.

 

[jacky24]

I read your post yesterday and had to go and sit and think with an open mind what to tell you, i lost my son on 37 weeks and 2 days, i never saw him and i will never know what he looked like.

All i can say to you is, that i take my hat off to you, you have one of the most difficult decisions to make of your life, and you are only thinking of your childs wellbeing.

What ever happens, what ever you decide always remember you are not alone we are always here for you, and you are that childs mother you know what is best.

 

[Omi]

I don't have any personal experience of this either but at my age, I'm nearly 38, its something me and my OH have discussed as Im at a higher risk... anyway, just wanted to say im thinking of you and that I hope all will go well. I would never judge anyone who did this either, so just hang in there and do whats right for you, but hopefully all will be well, hugs xx

 

[Schmelly]

If you are faced with such a difficult decision then only you can look into your heart and know what is the right thing to do. No one has the right to judge you.

Let us know how it goes.

 

[loulou83]

i agree it would be the hardest decision to make but if my unborn baby had a serious defect such as downs syndrome or spina bifida I think I would terminate. Not because I wouldn't want to have to cope with them but because i don't believe it's fair to bring a child into the world knowing they're going to struggle and not have a particulaly good quality of life. I hope all works out for you =]

Sorry to bump an old thread but my kid has DS and she has a fantastic quality of life! I believe it's up to the individual but she's happy kid as are all the other children and adults I know that have DS. Sure it's unlikely they're ever going to function on the level that we do but that doesn't mean their quality of life isn't good.

To OP: hope everything was fine for you!

 

[Omi]

Sorry to bump an old thread but my kid has DS and she has a fantastic quality of life! I believe it's up to the individual but she's happy kid as are all the other children and adults I know that have DS. Sure it's unlikely they're ever going to function on the level that we do but that doesn't mean their quality of life isn't good.

To OP: hope everything was fine for you!

I just wanted to add that me and oh have discussed this and the only reason we would consider a termination (im more at risk as older at 38 ) is because we are older. I have no problem with raising a downs syndrom child etc..but we realised we'd be worrying what would happen when we're not here.. I just see how OH's parents worry with my bil who is bipolar... I think if i was 24 or something we'd think about it differently.

I just wish more people would think about what having a child is all about- healthy, or not.

I too hope all is well with you!! Omi xxx