Please help - advice needed :(:( - very long!!

[ellasmummy]

This may all be confusing, im just going to cut a long story short as there is so much detail i couldnt possibly go into it all.

March 06 found out i was pregnant, i was 16 OH was 18. Mum wanted me to get an abortion i didnt want one, so i moved in with OH. He has his own council place. We spent most of the pregnancy argueing and fighting and i moved constantly between his and my mums. We would argue, he would kick me out, or it would get so bad i would want to leave pack up all my stuff and move to mums. Then after a few weeks we would sort it out and id move back. This happened all through my pregnancy and all through the 1st year of my daughters life. Then we finally sorted things and i fell pregnant, sadly miscarried. Then fell pregnant again and for 6months things were really good. We had a big row i ended back up at my mums and he met someone else. I started the process to get my own council place so me and my girls had somewhere secure to live. We 2split up for 2months.
In August after many long talks we decided to give it one final go and grow up and stop all the fighting. The girls adore their dad and my eldest loves spending all her time with him and living together as a family. Things were brilliant, no arguements, both sticking to what we had decided would work. Great no problems. I lost my 2 best and only proper friends as they werent happy with me getting back with my OH and were really nasty to me I didnt care though as i have my OH, my family and my 2 beautiful girls. I did stop taking Ella to playgroup though as the 2girls go there and they would make me feel very uncomfortable and just bitch about me. Well our 2nd daughter was born and everything was amasing. It all seemed to click into place.
Today after a really stupid arguement he has told me to leave. Now the dilemma i have is first of all i dnt want to leave, but he has made it very clear i have no choice. 2nd because of the past i am still registered at living at my mums at the council are waiting for my daughters birth certificate so they can move me to my own place. I hate myself for dragging ella backwards and forwards for 2years, she must feel so insecure and confused. Once she gets settled at OHs we end up at my mums and then she gets settled there and we end up back at OHs. I have been an awful mum
I cant ring the council and say he has kicked me out so they can accomodate me as homeless, because im registered as living at my mums. But i dnt want to drag the girls back to my mums and wait for my temporary accomodation, which will take 4 weeks from the date they get my daughters birth certificate.
I just dont know what to do anymore. I have no friends to turn to and i dont want to talk to my mum about it because she will say "I told you so".

Ive just started taking Ella to a new playgroup which she absolutely loves, now if i move to mums she wont be able to go as its the other side of town and i dont drive. She cant go to the one by my mums because my 2 ex friends go there so now she is going to miss out

I just feel like i have failed as a mum and i have let my 2 beautiful girls down. I should protect them, keep them safe, instead i just drag them backwards and forwards, dont give them a security!

Sorry for this!

 

[xarlenex]

I'm going to be honest, it isnt good for them at all. The going backwards and forwards or the fighting. You know that yourself though. If you are registered at staying at your mums, then you can say yous have had a fight and shes put you and the girls out and the council will find you accomodation. Might simply be a hostel or something until they can get you a decent place though.
You said your eldest loves spending time with her dad, but im sure she'll enjoy spending more time with each of yous when yous are happier and not fighting.

I hope things work out well either way xx

 

[pinkish_angel]

hun dont think u have failed as a mother cuz no way. These things happen. To have a perfect family life (although I am sure there are plenty out there that do), there are also a lot that dont. Im not saying that its good for your daughters cuz its not but you cant blame yourself. You were doing what you thought was right by getting back with your daughters father. It hasn't worked but you shouldnt beat yourself up about it. Kids are strong and can take a lot. You are probably more worried bout what your daughter is thinking than what she is actually thinking herself. You will sort yourself out hun. in time. good luck with everything. xxx

 

[xCorkettex]

BTW if you tell your mum to write you a letter to say she has kicked you out (obviously she hasn't) then the council will house you sooner, hope things get better for you & your family x

 

[Novbaby08]

you need to stop going back to him