Please help, I need a sounding board.

[Pearls18]

Sorry for the pathetic title didn't know what to call it. You may have seen me whinging on here a lot recently, DS's feeding has been a bit stressful, I know I am making it more stressful than it needs to be but I am on my own right now preparing for another bad night and just need a sounding board. These are the problems:

Very little interest in feeding, today I have had to encourage him to feed 3-4 hours but he's barely taken 5 minutes worth, fusses on the breast, and then sicked it up. This happens most days with a few good days thrown in here and there (a good day being 3 hourly 15-20 minute feeds). I know I'm too obsessed with the clock. He rarely asks for food, don't ask me what his feeding ques are I wouldn't have a clue. If it's been 3 hours I offer it to him. If he's upset I offer it to him. I swear he would go all day without if I didn't. I think this is why our nights aren't good.

Night time he does not sleep well, a good night for us ATM is going at 11pm sleeping for 3 hours, and then waking 1.5 hourly afterwards. He usually feeds better in the night, doesn't pull off or fuss as much but still doesn't tend to feed for long, 5-10 mins. Husband is working away, I have a 3 year old, we co sleep but I don't feed lying down he sicks up and I find it uncomfortable. I'm exhausted.

Projectile sicks up, he will sick up after nearly all day feeds, much less so at night.

Very mucousy, wakes himself up in the morning from struggling to breathe through his nose.

Hiccups

Randomly gags

Red, itchy, dry skin on face.

BUT his weight gain is fantastic, he's 13 1/2 lb nearly on the 75th, he is a relatively content baby (although we do use the dummy a lot -I always offer the boob first but he's never interested). He will take an expressed bottle perfectly.

So I am starting to go dairy free, it's day 4 and I'm finding it easier than I thought. How long until I start seeing changes if it does turn out to be that? Should I go to the dr?

I guess what I would like is more sleep at night (wouldn't we all) and for him to feed more regularly, more comfortably without sicking up.

I've tried infacol, dentinox, gaviscon, keeping him awake in the day, expressing, trying to get him to sleep less in the day, comforting him in other ways during night wakes and now going dairy free. I KNOW we would both probably be happier on formula because I know he would feed better on a bottle but I refuse to stop especially when he's obviously thriving weight-wise, but I wish it could be better for me too, selfishly thank you if anyone read that.

 

[Pearls18]

I just want to apologise for sounding pathetic I know I am lucky that we're not having any major problems and it is superficial stuff compared to what a lot of women deal with, but I have PND and this really isn't helping.

 

[irish_cob]

I don't really know what to say but didn't want to read and run. Do you have any child care for your 3yo so you and the baby can nap in the day? Have you spoken to your GP about everything - the feeding and your PND? Have you tried giving him formula maybe at his first night waking? See if he sleeps any longer? Xx

 

[missk1989]

Sorry for the pathetic title didn't know what to call it. You may have seen me whinging on here a lot recently, DS's feeding has been a bit stressful, I know I am making it more stressful than it needs to be but I am on my own right now preparing for another bad night and just need a sounding board. These are the problems:

Very little interest in feeding, today I have had to encourage him to feed 3-4 hours but he's barely taken 5 minutes worth, fusses on the breast, and then sicked it up. This happens most days with a few good days thrown in here and there (a good day being 3 hourly 15-20 minute feeds). I know I'm too obsessed with the clock. He rarely asks for food, don't ask me what his feeding ques are I wouldn't have a clue. If it's been 3 hours I offer it to him. If he's upset I offer it to him. I swear he would go all day without if I didn't. I think this is why our nights aren't good.

Night time he does not sleep well, a good night for us ATM is going at 11pm sleeping for 3 hours, and then waking 1.5 hourly afterwards. He usually feeds better in the night, doesn't pull off or fuss as much but still doesn't tend to feed for long, 5-10 mins. Husband is working away, I have a 3 year old, we co sleep but I don't feed lying down he sicks up and I find it uncomfortable. I'm exhausted.

Projectile sicks up, he will sick up after nearly all day feeds, much less so at night.

Very mucousy, wakes himself up in the morning from struggling to breathe through his nose.

Hiccups

Randomly gags

Red, itchy, dry skin on face.

BUT his weight gain is fantastic, he's 13 1/2 lb nearly on the 75th, he is a relatively content baby (although we do use the dummy a lot -I always offer the boob first but he's never interested). He will take an expressed bottle perfectly.

So I am starting to go dairy free, it's day 4 and I'm finding it easier than I thought. How long until I start seeing changes if it does turn out to be that? Should I go to the dr?

I guess what I would like is more sleep at night (wouldn't we all) and for him to feed more regularly, more comfortably without sicking up.

I've tried infacol, dentinox, gaviscon, keeping him awake in the day, expressing, trying to get him to sleep less in the day, comforting him in other ways during night wakes and now going dairy free. I KNOW we would both probably be happier on formula because I know he would feed better on a bottle but I refuse to stop especially when he's obviously thriving weight-wise, but I wish it could be better for me too, selfishly thank you if anyone read that.

Firstly, stop apologising. This forum is for advice so feel free to kepp posting and asking the same questions until you get the advice you need. If you feel you are not getting enough feedback here then post in the baby section, it gets quiet here sometimes.
Secondly if you want him to sleep more at night he needs to feed more during the day. It sounds to me like possible reflux. You say you have tried gaviscon etc. Do you make sure to burp him afterwards? I know it sounds like a stupid question but some babies need burping for quite a while until they are done. Also you could try keeping him upright for 30mins after each feed.
I would offer more often than every 3 hours if you want to feed less at night. Probably every two although with his weight gain being good it is possible he just doesnt need that much. Many babies do their cluster feeding at night so it could just be that.
Not sure how old your lo is but hiccups are totally normal in newborns. When did you last see your doctor? I would take him in and mention the mucous and itchy skin.

 

[Flake-y]

I agree with trying to feed more in the day, but if they're not interested it's hard. I wouldn't be too worried about the puking, some babies are just more sick than others, as long as weight gain is good then it shouldn't be too much of a problem, but might be worth seeing your GP again anyway.

If you're on Facebook, have a look at Dr Jack Newman's page, he's a breastfeeding expert & has a lot of info about refluxy babies and how it's not necessarily a bad thing, the puking actually gives the throat & oesophagus a double coating of antibodies.

 

[halullat]

I have no real advice but wanted to just send well wishes because it sounds like you are having a tough time and also to say you don't sound at all pathetic and you have no need to apologise! x

 

[lau86]

I don't know much about going dairy free but I would've thought you should be seeing some results soon and it will start getting better. Just wanted to give you some support you're doing an amazing job especially on your own. Hubby works away sometimes (5 days at most) and in tearing my hair out by the time he gets back

 

[Pearls18]

Thank you all for reading and taking the time to reply. I should have made clearer I do desperately try to feed him more regularly in the day but he will not have it, I say 3 hourly because I find if I try sooner than that we have a bad feed whereas if I wait until he's hungry he will feed better, but he's not even hungry after 3 hours half the time!!! (When I say I wait, I mean I wait until I decide to offer, if he cries or looks hungry whenever I happily oblige even if he's just eaten, of course!!) in the evenings I try offering 2 hourly to "tank him up" but he won't have it. I use the clock as a rough guide because I think if I left him to it he wouldn't eat at all in the day and wake hourly at night (we had that last week......) I'm not trying to gt him in to a feeding schedule or anything.

I've suspected all along he's got his days and nights mixed up especially as he will sleep really well in the day, but nothing I do seems to switch it back around, even when he's had a good day of feeding and not too much sleeping he will have a bad night.

I think I will take him to the GP, I was waiting to see if the no dairy helped but I should let them know.

Thank you for listening

 

[CandyDay]

it can take 2 to 3 weeks for dairy to clear both of your systems. It has to clear your system and then clear out of LO's system. I haven't had to go dairy free but there have been lots of mom's at the LLL meeting that I go to that have done it and that is what all the leaders have told them. Also watch for hidden dairy in things as some goes by odd names that you wouldn't realize are dairy

https://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/resourcespre.php?id=37

 

[JaneyScot]

My lo had similar symptoms to your lo, sick constantly, mucousy, unsettled, and was diagnosed with reflux and cmpi, although we were different in that lo fed/ comfort sucked constantly. i went dairy free and noticed an improvement after day 5. He was also on ranitidine twice a day as giving gaviscon before every feed is very difficult with a constantly feeding baby.

These managed his reflux to some extent but to be honest in our case we just had to wait it out. He's 7 months now and no longer grizzly, or congested all the time and he is now rarely sick and sleeps brilliantly but gosh those early months were tough tough tough.

I hope the docs have some answers for you. Luckily mine has been fantastic and didn't dismiss my concerns.

 

[baby1wanted]

FTM here so new to BF myself but wanted to send hugs even tho I have no advice

 

[Kanichen34]

I wouldn't focus too much on how long he's feeding for, my LO only does. 5-7 minute feeds but for her that's a full feed - some babies are just efficient.

Also keeping him up in the day will not help him sleep more at night - quite the opposite! A day with plenty of naps is more likely to have a good night. Last night my LO napped for 2 hours from 5pm to 7pm. Bedtime routine normally starts at 730 to be asleep by 830! She was still asleep in bed by 830 and slept until 230am when she woke for a feed.