Please help me get my 5 month old out of my bed and into a cot!

[LDC]

hi all,

I feel like I'm in such a mess

I have a 5 month old who Co sleeps....not even my plan it just fell that way with breastfeeding and being so tired as he wakes every 1.5-2 hours and I have a dd to look after in the day too.

d's would never sleep in his moses basket nor his cot so we fell into the Co sleeping habit which I've never done before.

I really want him in his cot (it's in our room) and on his own now but I'm struggling as he is unpredictable with his sleep and won't self settle.

I put him in his cot for his nap today for the first time and he slept for 30 minutes.

tonight I've tried for 3.5 hours to get him in his cot but he's not having it. He's slept 3 times at most for 20 minutes, the other two times literally 5 minutes.

I'll shush pat him and cuddle if really distressed then put back.

my oh just says "he's always going to be like this, it's a rod you've made".

Please help me xxx

 

[minties]

Firstly, that was really mean what your OH has said. That's very untrue and unsupportive and meant to make you feel bad and guilty.

I've bed shared with all of mine and it's never been a 'rod for my own back' and the older two have quite happily transitioned to big beds. Nothing lasts forever. You don't generally see elderly people pushing their adult children around in prams and changing their nappies either!

I'm not sure if 5 months is a great age for trying to get baby out of your bed though. A lot goes on with how a baby sleeps in the brain at this age. Are you open to perhaps trying again in a few months, or is it totally driving you crazy?

 

[LDC]

Thanks minties.

I don't mind him in with me so much, I actually like our cuddle time!

Personally, it's easier for me having him in bed with me because of how often he wakes and then having to get up and still need to function the next day for my three year old. I can literally just feed him and we can sleep. He also won't then wake for the day until about 8am so I have the chance to showe and get dd ready for nursery etc whilst he's still sleeping.

I guess I'm just worried whether he's going to never want to go in his cot? I would like him to be in his own room in the new year, oh has now made me worry that he will be two and still in bed with us, which I definitely don't want!

Xx

 

[marmoset]

I don't have experience with this yet but my gut would say to take it one day at a time and do what works - meaning if you are enjoying cosleeping now, go for it and cherish those little cuddles! I bedshare with my 3.5 month old and absolutely love it. If we need to transition to another arrangement we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I would instead maybe try to have a chat with your OH - it sounds like he has some fears about cosleeping lasting beyond when it stops working for you, I'd see if you can hear him out about that and get to the root of what's bugging him. Also like minties said it's not cool for him to blame you for a problem that doesn't even exist yet - you'd be well within your rights to speak up about that.

 

[xxxLeoxxx]

I have coslept with all three of my babies. The first one was unintentional, the second was kind of intentional and the third it was my plan from day one.

If it works for you and makes your life easier right at this moment in time then why change it? I have the odd wobble (usually when someone asks me how she is sleeping) where I think I should try her in her cot but then I think what on earth for - she's happy, I'm happy, why rock the boat?

There will come a time when you know it's time to put your LO into the cot for XYZ reasons and that'll be the time to go ahead and do it and put up with the initial troubles that it brings.

Carry on as you are IMO xx

 

[Left wonderin]

I'd say don't fix what's not broken !!!! If its working for you and your all getting some sleep and getting through the days I'd go with it I'm the opposite I've just moved my 8 month old from her cot ( in our room ) into my bed as she was waking at 4.30 am for the day !!

I also have a 2.5 year old who on,y recently moved into his own room .. Let alone his own bed lol.. There was no issue for him

Enjoy those cuddles for now ... They don't last long ... It goes so quickly and sooner than you think you will be wishing you could have just one night of them back

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Its not a rod. He will. Personally I didnt try to break the habit at 5mo either. The first year is full of leaps. By 18mth my dd went down in her cot and then we co slept when she woke (from 12-3am ish) then by 3 she would settle in her bed x

 

[Teri7489]

Ouch, not the smartest comment! I've read over and over it only takes 3 nights to 'fix' and habits made and I have to say it's true. I co-slept with dd, transitioned her in to her own toddler bed and now in to her own room at age 3. I cried the first 2 nights as I missed her! Yes we had a little unsettled moments but she wasn't terrible and it worked. As others have said, it's a difficult time to try so if you can wait then may be best. Possibly not one for everyone but have you considered a co-sleeping cot? (or like I did, take cot side off and cable tie it to your bed so no gaps). Baby would be close to you, easy to pick up for feeding but you both have some space?

 

[LDC]

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

I've kept him in bed with us last night, the previous night he managed two hours in his cot which was good.

I've had a little read up, and like some of you have said, now doesn't seem to be a great time to move him with his age and also he is still waking up so often.

Does anyone have any advice whether I can move his sleep pattern forward? I know that sounds a bit strange - he seems to sleep well in the latter part of the night, from about 6-9am!

Xx

 

[Teri7489]

The best way to change a baby sleep patterns is by moving it 15 minutes at a time. Anymore and they generally treat it as a nap and can cause a mess. Personally I'd wait til feedings during the night reduce/end as they will still dictate his waking pattern xx