Please help...unplanned pregnancy after loss and...

[akabenoit]

Hi ladies,

I haven't been on in forever - my 11 month old has kept me busy! I am in a hard situation and I need advice, especially from those of you who might have gone through this already. My husband and I lost our first baby at 22 weeks in November of 2010 and, needless to say, were devastated. We found out 3 months later that we were pregnant for our beautiful daughter and gave birth to her in November of last year (we were trying to get pregnant for her). So here we are, October of 2012 and I am pregnant again, but this time it was totally unplanned. I was shocked and guess that I still am.

We are living with my parents to try and save for a house. I am in the middle of nursing school and will have one more year left to go after I finish this one. My husband only makes $50,000 a year, and for that reason, we are struggling to decide whether or not we could realistically have this baby, which I know sounds terrible. I feel like a hypocrite for even considering not seeing this pregnancy to term considering that we've already lost one child. Honestly, were we in any other situation, I wouldn't be considering it at all. So I guess my question is, do you ladies think it is possible to have 2 babies under 2 yrs old, finish nursing school, and find a place to live in such a tight financial situation? In my heart I want to keep this baby, but I am terrified that doing so would be unfair to my daughter and to this unborn LO. Please don't think I am a terrible person...I feel awful already and my heart is breaking over this.

 

[melfy77]

Money issues are always hard to deal with. But I think you already gave us the answer: deep down you want this baby. Don't let money take that away from you. You love this LO already, no doubt it won't be easy, but there's always a way to find a bit of money, and when you get to hold that baby in your arms, you'll know you've made the right decision You're a mom, it's totally normal to want what's best for your children, no one can blame you for that!

 

[green turtle]

It will be hard, but you can do it.

If you want this LO and you terminate, it could destroy you.

Better to be in a tight situation than live with regret for the rest of your life.

I would rely on friends and family for support.

Please don't do something you will regret. It may be the most logical choice, but not necessarily the best one.

 

[girlinyork]

If deep down in your heart you want this baby, you'd probably never forgive yourself if you chose not to have it. It's your choice although I suspect you know what you want - you just wanted somebody to validate it good luck
P.S. I'm having a baby I can barely afford while studying. I know I will manage. Surviving child loss proves you can manage anything x

 

[MumToEva]

Could you forgive yourself if you were to terminate the pregnancy Hun? You will have to live with whatever decision you make for the rest of your life, so if the answer is no, then you need to either think about adoption or find a way to make it work.