Please help :(

[rose.wombwell]

Such a long story,
but i feel like a emotional wreck right now and need some help/advise please,

my ex has just contacted me, saying im using my son as a weapon (COMLETELY untrue) saying be has a solicitor and being a general cock.

i snapped and called him a spitefull bully and told him to fuck off....
hes said he wants to have my son to stay sat-mon at his gf's parents house (none of which ive met)

i think hes going to try and take me to court, he is a horrible manipulative man and i no he'll find a way of twisting things to get what he wants..

does anyone know the possible outcomes? normal acsess?

please help.. im in tears, ive had enough of his mental abuse, and trying to make him out seem completely reasonable to everyone else

im in tears
x

 

[Ali33]

I am sorry you are dealing with this.. Even if he takes you to court the judge will almost always side with the mother unless they find her unfit.. I would start documenting all the bad things he says to you, maybe try and record it so if that does happen you have evidence. No way should he stay with his gf's parents! That would be like leaving your baby with a stranger! *Hugs*, I will say a prayer for you.

 

[emlubu]

How much does he have him now? And how old is your son??? He sounds like my ex

 

[JessAndAva]

Same situation, except my ex hasn't tried anything b|c he know's he will lose.

I talked to an attorney about this. Of course, I live in Illinois, so I don't know if the laws are different where you live. (You can find a free attorney and just ask them questions & they will try and answer them for you about what a judge will say and such...)

But Anyways,
The judge is most likely NOT going to let your child stay at your ex-boyfriends girlfriends parents house. You're ex is DUMB for even suggesting that. (No offense)
You've never met them, they aren't related to the baby. No no no no no.

 

[Laura2919]

There would be no way I'd let him have my children at his girlfriends parents house and nor would a judge unless you think it's safe and would be ok with it but in no way would I allow it...

Oh my if my FOB even dared suggest it I'd give him what for!

I said FOB's girlfriend could meet the girls but it had to be at his mums and when he has them they are not allowed to her house. That's my decision and I will stick to it.

 

[rose.wombwell]

thanks for the replies, ive spent hours calling community legal advise and they said to me as long as his gf or parents pose no threat he is perfectly within his rights to do that...it actually makes me feel sick, almost as if he's trying to act like a little family with his new gf of a few months and her family!!
its so frustrating, i ended up snapping and writing some texts to him i shouldnt of which im afraid he'll use against me and say im just being bitter and jealous.
i think hes only using my son as a prop so he can play the doting father role to his new gf..
from what ive found out today, as long as sonnys health isnt in danger its likely a judge will allow it...
im just so fed up with being manipulated and made out to be unreasonable when all ive tried to do is be reasonable and put my feeling aside and think about sonny,
i wish he would just leave the planet, his existance actually angers me.

he is doing nothing and i mean NOTHING to help sonnys up bringing, at the moment he see's sonny once a month, and even then his mum buys the nappys makes the food and drops them both off and picks them up.
he does nothing, but go along for the ride becasue its convienient.

and now sonnys 2, hes not quite as demanding as a baby so hes now starting to want to no, after ive done all the hard work and had the sleepless nights.

all i wanted was to be amicable and one day even friends and hes just made that impossible whilst accusing me of doing everything that he is doing to me.

ITS INFURIATING

 

[dustbunny]

I very much doubt any judge in the country would let your FOB take your LO away from every weekend or even every other weekend to a third parties house, especially when he only sees him once a month at present. The judge would also take into account how involved he has been up till now and it wouldnt be in the childs best interest to be shipped from pillar to post with a guy he only sees occasionally.
I think the court thing is an empty threat as most FOB's know the fear it instils. It is a bully tactic and I would be tempted to call his bluff and tell him to apply to the court but for him to not think you're just going to take it. Either that or ignore his empty threats.
Bullies don't like being stood up to and people who make excuses for their shit actions are not worth the oxygen they consume.

I know how annoying and heartbreaking it is to be accused of things you haven't done or have things twisted around. But be strong - you can get through this, major hugs

 

[rose.wombwell]

i've had a lot of professional advise now
so yes.. theres pretty much nothingi can do about any of it, he can arse about, act like a cock to me.. send me shitty texts, not bother with LO unless its convient.. BUT OH ITS FINE a judge will still give him the acsess he wants. even if there strangers at his gf's parents house.

I HATE THE LEGAL SYSTEM, i feel so dissapointed, angry, upset. helpless.. as theres nothing i can do apart from sit back and let this stupid prick mess my son about just so he can play the 'doting father' role to his gf.

i think judges need to stop looking at situations as black and white, there is always more to a story.. and in some cases the child DOES NOT benefit from being shipped about just so they can see there dad.