please need some advice

[klouise1993]

I found out I was 9 weeks pregnant about 3 weeks ago me and my partner was sooo thrilled we was planning everything like what their bedroom would be like that sort of stuff you know maybe we gave our hopes up a bit too much because 5 days later I woke up and found blood on the tissue and all of a sudden loads of blood just rushed out of me we didnt know what to do, my partner rung an ambulance and I was rushed to A&E, I had all the tests such as checking the blood clots and the horror came when the nurse had told us that I had a miscarriage since this happened 2 weeks ago I have felt nothing but guilt that maybe I could of done something to prevent this from happening ever since I stopped bleeding we have been trying again, i know doctors and nurses have said to wait till my first menstrual cycle but is it possible that i could become pregnant this soon after a miscarriage as I'm having symptoms such as sore boobs, back ache, headaches, tiredness all the symptoms i had when i was. I'm too scared to take a test because i don't want to be paranoid everytime i get like a twinge in my stomach can anyone please give me some advice please I'd really really appreciate it thank you in advance xx

 

[Sunnyleah]

Hey there... So sorry for your loss, it is a very difficult time. You can absolutely get pregnant right away. Your body can ovulate again as soon as the pregnancy hormone hcg is back to 0 then your regular cycle resumes. If you usually ovulate on cycle day 14 for example, and it takes 10 days for your body to drop your hcg, then you could ovulate at 24 days post mc. Everyone is different. I did not ovulate my first cycle after mc, but many women do.. There were a few reasons why I was told to wait until one cycle,,,


First, the hcg dropping can mimic early pregnancy and become very confusing for a woman who just experienced a loss

Second, your uterus might have lost too much lining to support an embryo without a full cycle to replenish. This is especially true of you had very heavy bleeding, or a D&C.

Third, a woman's mental state is not stable after a loss and this can affect her ability to cope with a new pregnancy.

My ob told me to wait one cycle, or my 6 week check up post D&C before trying again. It was the longest 6 weeks of my life, but I'm glad we waited. It did take a while (and another loss) before we reached the point were at now, but I try not to think too much of the 'could have been'. I spent most of the first 6 months post mc thinking about, how old my baby should be, etc, but I'm now happily moved on.. Not forgotten (we actually have a house plant in a special pot and a candle that we light on our first angels due date to remember).

I wish you luck in your ttc journey and happiness for you

 

[klouise1993]

Thank you for replying. I just haven't got anyone I can talk to about this so I've been bottling it all up. All I've felt is guilt ever since it happened one of the reasons is I saw my partners face when the nurse told us I had lost it, it was literally like the blood had rushed from his face.

Tell you one thing now I have got the utmost respect for you and other women that have gone through a miscarriage, it's one of the heartbreaking experiences anyone should have to go through. How do you cope?

All I keep thinking is "we shouldn't of gave ours hopes up too much" as I know it was early days but we was planning how their bedroom would be small stuff like that you know.

I haven't got the best friendships around me one girl actually thought it was funny to make up a pregnancy 3 days after I was out of hospital so I've needed to let this out for ages.

I passed everything very very fast cause when i went for a second ultra sound they confirmed lack of a better word i was all clear, they did advise me to wait one cycle before trying again but as you probably know things happy and me and my partner have had a lot of unprotected sex ever since the second scan. And now I'm getting all the symptoms start back up and im extremely scared again to take another test as i don't want to be constantly paranoid everytime i get like tinge or anything.

Sorry about rambling on i just needed to let all that out lol. Good luck with everything with you you deserve it xx

 

[Sunnyleah]

It's difficult. It's important to know that you did not cause a mc. One in 5 pregnancies ends in mc and it's actually thought to be higher except many end before the woman realizes she's pregnant. Your odds of a second are actually lower once you've experienced one. Doesn't make the loss any less though.

As for coping, this is where I came. I went to the trying to conceive after a loss section and found a thread I liked. The women are amazing and it's so helpful to talk with others who have experienced the same. I also have a journal on here that I write in when I feel I need to (the link is in my signature).

I actually still chat with many women from when I first joined through our journals. And now most of us either have babies or are pregnant . It's very positive to see. You are welcome to explore my journals (one for ttc and one for pregnancy after a loss).

I focused on other things in my life and tried to let things just happen. I also found that charting my cycles gave me a feeling of control. A great app or website for that is 'fertility friend'. Lots of information and support.

 

[klouise1993]

Thank you so much I'll definitely have a look thank you just really nice to talk to people who have been through the same it gives you a sense of hope so thank you for that xx