please no judging.

[Googiepie]

Ok...here goes.

My ex and I have called it quits late last year. He basically left us peniless and homeless. I moved in with my parents in august. I found out a month later I was pregnant. My parents are very conservative and religious. They had a huge problem with me having my first outside of marriage and our relationship has been rocky since. I have been trying to tell them that I was expecting since I found out but every time I would have a heart to heart with my mom, she would basically tell me that I would be kicked out and they would have no relationship with me. I still haven't told them! !! They suspect it but I'm just so scared of being thrown out with my little one. I don't depend on them financially, but I also can't afford to live on my own right now. This has been the most immature and ridiculous thing of me. I feel like complete shit. It's not like I'm a child, I'm an adult. Please no judgment. I already know what a huge mistake I've made. Just needed to get that off my chest.

 

[MeaganMackenz]

You're almost due and they don't know? Wow I'm sorry to hear that hugs.

 

[Googiepie]

You're almost due and they don't know? Wow I'm sorry to hear that hugs.

I'm ridiculous, I know. I told my mom tonight. She told me I should have had an abortion as I have no husband.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

Oh my gosh, that's terrible. I'm so very sorry. You and your sweet babies deserve to live in a loving, supportive place. I understand that you may not be able to move out now, but I really hope and pray you find some avenue to get some outside help to be out on your own. You're going to be a great Mama, no matter what your relationship status is, and no matter how disrespectful and unhelpful your family might behave. Big, HUGE hugs. You're amazing for standing so strong, and your little girl will love you for it.

 

[SAmummy]

huge hugs . I'm glad you told her. I hope you find a way to be on your own soon ... It doesn't sound like a very healthy environment for you or your self worth. Stay strong and remember that no matter how much they judge you, you are a grown woman who will make it through !

 

[pansorie]

No judgment here. I was 7 months pregnant with my son when I got around to finally telling my mom. She screamed. Like SCREAMED. Actually, the word she screamed was "abortion" but it hadn't dawned on her how far along I was. When I actually had him and she saw him a few weeks later I thought for sure she would be stand offish. But no, she took to him like he was her own. She even told me once if I don't bring my son to visit what is the point of me coming to visit, lol.

That was 15 years ago. This time around, thankfully, is much different, and she was the first person I told other than my SO.

I am sorry about your mom's reaction. Hopefully she will be better when the baby actually comes.

Good luck!

 

[JLFKJS]

Oh honey I feel so bad for you. I can't believe that's the reaction you got. If she's super religious then surely she should look at it as one of Gods children?! I wish there was some way I could help you

 

[BabyCleo]

Oh gosh you poor thing! It will be okay

 

[CamoQueen]

I find it so deeply hypocritical for someone to claim to be very conservative and religious to the point of wanting to kick you out for conceiving out of wedlock... and yet the first thing they say is that you should have had an abortion. Don't most religious people view abortion as akin to murder (I'm personally pro-choice, but this is what I mostly hear)? That's just crazy twisted logic right there.

Here's hoping that they come around soon, lots of parents do once the baby is actually born. I find their entire demeanor to be completely disgusting, and you deserve better.

 

[Rainbow82]

I can't believe she reacted like that, does she know how far along you are? Do you have anywhere else you can go? Even if it's just for a few days to give her time to calm down. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this at this point in your pregnancy.

 

[Anh1982]

She sounds like exactly the kind of parent I hope to never be... Sorry you have to stay there

 

[tulip1975]

I feel so badly for you. Your parents are like many super religious parents - they have to do mental gymnastics trying to reconcile their church teachings (and need to keep up church-like appearances) with their own instincts as a parents, which often leads to very contradictory behavior. I think that's why your mom's words don't make much sense. Just keep appealing to her 'mom' side and remind her how vulnerable you are and how much you need her.

Hugs - hopefully your parents will come around soon.

 

[babykate]

We are deeply Catholic but would never advise anyone to get an abortion. [edited by admin: some of this post has been edited as inappropriate] I hope you have a healthy delivery, God bless you and I will pray for your parents' love and acceptance.

 

[nflores77]

So sorry you are going through this... I hope you can find help elsewhere. Keep strong, stay positive and you'll see things will turn out.

 

[Zephram]

I'm ridiculous, I know. I told my mom tonight. She told me I should have had an abortion as I have no husband.

Are you serious? That's your mum! She doesn't have to be overjoyed about it, but that is a really extreme reaction. I'm sorry you're going through this, I hope you find a way to get an income and your own place in the near future so you don't have to be judged in that way in your parents house.

 

[Googiepie]

I do understand why she's upset. I did keep it from them for a long time. I'm just really hurt over the reaction. I didn't expect joy or anything but just a little bit support. She was never happy about my first and I never got to truly enjoy my first pregnancy or this one. I guess I just wish I could have had a baby shower or something. I just wanted the experience I guess. I don't know. I'm an emotional wreck right now.

 

[SoBlessedMama]

I do understand why she's upset. I did keep it from them for a long time. I'm just really hurt over the reaction. I didn't expect joy or anything but just a little bit support. She was never happy about my first and I never got to truly enjoy my first pregnancy or this one. I guess I just wish I could have had a baby shower or something. I just wanted the experience I guess. I don't know. I'm an emotional wreck right now.

I'm so sorry. Yes, of course she's in shock and maybe upset. That's okay--that isn't where the fault lies. Her response is so hurtful because that is your sweet baby--her grandbaby. And whether or not she agrees with the dynamics of your relationships, and the timing of things, a baby is a blessing, and a birth is a joyful event. You deserve to be happy about adding to your little family. You only hid it because you knew she would have a negative reaction. What's done is done--at this point, the only appropriate response from a loving family is to support and encourage you as you bring your new little one into the world. It is one thing to disagree, and a completely other thing to be so hurtful. I'm so, so sorry for her reaction. I'm praying she comes around, and I really hope you can get some peace and are able to focus on the joy and happiness that this little girl will no doubt bring to your life.

 

[Googiepie]

I do understand why she's upset. I did keep it from them for a long time. I'm just really hurt over the reaction. I didn't expect joy or anything but just a little bit support. She was never happy about my first and I never got to truly enjoy my first pregnancy or this one. I guess I just wish I could have had a baby shower or something. I just wanted the experience I guess. I don't know. I'm an emotional wreck right now.

I'm so sorry. Yes, of course she's in shock and maybe upset. That's okay--that isn't where the fault lies. Her response is so hurtful because that is your sweet baby--her grandbaby. And whether or not she agrees with the dynamics of your relationships, and the timing of things, a baby is a blessing, and a birth is a joyful event. You deserve to be happy about adding to your little family. You only hid it because you knew she would have a negative reaction. What's done is done--at this point, the only appropriate response from a loving family is to support and encourage you as you bring your new little one into the world. It is one thing to disagree, and a completely other thing to be so hurtful. I'm so, so sorry for her reaction. I'm praying she comes around, and I really hope you can get some peace and are able to focus on the joy and happiness that this little girl will no doubt bring to your life.

She keeps asking me well, you can't seriously be happy about this baby? Of course I am. The timing is off and my relationship is messed up but my baby is a blessing to me.

 

[JumpingIn]

Oh my goodness, do you have any supportive people around? You're obviously incredibly strong to have come this far in the face of such disapproval

 

[calm81]

How awful to be dealing with this in your last trimester. I'm so sorry she's being so unsupportive...being so religious, she should have more compassion for her daughter. I'm tired of "religious" people blaming their beliefs on why they can't accept flaws in others (especially family)when being religious should be about accepting others for their short comings knowing we are all children of god and make mistakes from time to time but as long as we stride to be good, caring people--love should be effortless--especially from a parent to a child.

You have me deepest thoughts.