Please tell me I'm wrong.

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by Blue12, Aug 23, 2009.

  1. Blue12

    Blue12 icsi miracle xo

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    Am I expecting something unrealistic from my fertility doctor?

    I woke up this morning with finally the words to explain one thing that has been frustrating since my last fertility appt. The doctor had not even reviewed the results of all my tests before I literally walked in and sat in her office. I can appreciate that doctors are busy - but please read a file before the f*ing client/patient walks in - especially if the results of the tests are about to deliver bad news - that way maybe you can deliver the f*ing news with some f*ing sensitivity. Also this appointment was supposed to be the one where a personal plan of treatment was created - well lets see - she just found out I need my f*ing tube removed at the same time as me - so guess what - she had no plan of action and mumbled sh*t that didn't make sense and contradicted one statement to the next. So I left the office that day with bad news, no hope and direction.

    Now this Tuesday I have another appt to discuss the results of another test - how much you want to bet that 1) she hasn't reviewed them. 2) they are normal and she is wasting my time to come in and tell me this. 3) if it is bad results she will be an insensitive pr*ck again and 4) she STILL won't have a plan of treatment for me.

    Sorry for this rant with such foul words. There have been countless things that have been so upsetting at this clinic. I am going to try to find another one. But I am wondering if I am expecting to much?

    Thanks.
     
  2. CurlySue

    CurlySue P.I's Mummy

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    Since I started all of this I have come to the conclusion that they are all the same.

    I recall my first appointment with the IVF Information Lady. Her first words to me were "Have you ever been diagnosed with PCOS? With Endometriosis? With blocked tubes?" No, yes, no, I tell her, even though if she'd read the notes she'd see.

    She ticks what I say. No. Yes. No.

    Five minutes later she is going over this whole treatment plan with me because "as a polycystic lady I would require this, this and this if going through stimulatory drugs".

    Hang on a second, five minutes earlier she ticked "no" when she asked if I had been diagnosed with PCOS. Now she's telling me I have it?

    I recall being terribly angry that a) she hadn't read the file and b) she chose THAT way to blurt something out to me that I strongly suspect wasn't even true.

    This same woman, just before my D&C, shook my hand and said "Nice to meet you." I understand they have tons of patients every day, but just one little check a few pages back would've shown that she had already met me.
     
  3. Lyns

    Lyns Mama to two <3

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    NHS docs.....:rolleyes: They're just great aren't they? When I went to see the Gynae after my last mc when they were supposedly already testing for cause, she didn't even have my notes, and she sat there and said...

    "I don't seem to have any notes for you.....what is wrong with you?"

    FFS....thats what I was there for her to tell me!

    Then she tells me they didn't arrange for the 'products of conception' to be tested, as I'd been promised and it was too late now, but I was probably just getting old and that was the reason I've lost my babies. Nice huh?
     
  4. CurlySue

    CurlySue P.I's Mummy

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    They didn't arrange for my 'products' to be tested either. Nor did they give me any advice on what was right or wrong after D&C because they ran out of leaflets. They told me I didn't need a follow up appointment, despite the fact that I need to discuss with FS what happened and what the next steps are. Can safely say that the NHS are appalling.
     
  5. Oneday

    Oneday Mum to two boys

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    It is appalling my gp ignored my symptoms of an ectopic , when it ruptured I ended up in a&e lost my tube and and was told my ovary months later I find out that was wrong and I still have it as it was suchured. I also saw and the screen foetus ahich was swiftly hidden and I too got the products of conception line. Maybe we should review a copy of our own records x
     
  6. x_Rainbow_x

    x_Rainbow_x Well-Known Member

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    Lets hope shes learn from her mistakes and reveiwed them eh :D
     
  7. x_Rainbow_x

    x_Rainbow_x Well-Known Member

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    not all are bad you no.. i had amazing dr's on the NHS at my last hospital.
     
  8. x_Rainbow_x

    x_Rainbow_x Well-Known Member

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    thats sad :( but thats normal.. alot of hospitals only test if youv past a certain point, or you have a known problem or a suspected genetic problem. Its wrong i no they should perform them tests on everyone.
     
  9. twinkle

    twinkle TTC 1st

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    I agree totally with you girls, i had been given 6 months of clomid and i took 2 months and thn had a break for 2 months as sadly i was nursing my mother who was dying from the same rare brain condition that dudley moore died of. I then took another 2 rounds and i was to go back to fs in july...when i should have completed my 6 courses. I decided to keep the appt even though i had only taken 4 rounds. She told me that there was no more that they could do for me under the nhs and asked if we had considered private ivf treatment...which we are thinking about. I told her that we had considered iui as my tubes etc are all clear...she then said.."oh you must not take anymore clomid if you are going to do that as you can only have a certain amount of clomid and if you are going to have iui then they will give you clomid then". I was gobsmacked...what would have happened if i had completed my 6 rounds...would i then have been refused iui...then what ? Also i had 3 months of clomid a couple of years ago...prescribed by my gp to take on days 5 to 9..which i did. But my fs told me to take it days 2 to 6..which i did as i know that different people tell u to take it on different days, but when i took my last round of clomid iwqs umming and ahhing about it and eneded up taking it days 5 to 9...when i told fs she said "well that was a waste you cant take it on those days, but i will check" she proceeded to look in a little book and then said "oh yes thats ok, you can take it then" !!!!! Also when i had my first hsg test doen, it was excruitiating and i was told that both my tubes were totalyy blocked at both ends and i would never concieve naturally...but when i had it done again...along with a lap..the fs said that they were perfect...not blocked at all !!! Also i have been researching iui and it seems it is not recommended for people over 40..which i am...surely the fs should know whats what !!!!! grrrrrrrr !!!!
     
  10. Oneday

    Oneday Mum to two boys

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    I am surprised by how little some of them do know and how little they will try and get away with in terms if treatment if they can. There are of course a number of good ones out there but you still seem to have to be able to fight your corner and push for treatment.
     
  11. BizyBee

    BizyBee Mom to Luke, Expecting #2

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  12. NeyNey

    NeyNey Love My IVF Munchkin

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    Honestly, as I tell all women who are not happy with results or diagnosis - get a second, or third opinion. If something doesn't make you feel comfortable, get some more advice.

    wishing you lots of luck, sorry you're not having much at the moment :hugs:
     
  13. Millnsy

    Millnsy Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear about your bad bad service from the NHS. AT a time like this you need to feel reassured and it obviously is not happening.

    I do have to stick up for the NHS a little bit though, apart from the original doctor we saw at the first referral appointment (who told me that with a bmi of 24 I could do with losing a few pounds and that could be why we hadn't manage to conceive so far), we have had great treatment from the nurses in the fertility clinic. I think the clue is in the name there, in 14 months I saw a doctor once, everything else has been managed by amazing specialist fertility nurses who have been brilliant. It was the clinic at QMC in Nottingham which also has a private clinic called Nurture if anyone is interested.

    Good luck to you all.

    Millnsy xxx
     
  14. Blue12

    Blue12 icsi miracle xo

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    Im in Canada - so not even the NHS, but still it sucks - but we will see tomorrow at my appt - grrr.
     
  15. oliveoyl

    oliveoyl Well-Known Member

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    Hugs blue and everyone else who've had bad experiences - its just not good enough!
    I know they are busy and all, but I think it is key to have a quick review of the notes before you see the patient - that way you know if there are any sensitive issues or not so positive results to convey. As an almost doctor, I get really disappointed when I read about your experiences. It is so important to be your own advocate in the medical system and never take an answer on face value, and question if you need to.
    xx
     
  16. brumbar

    brumbar Working on IT

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    they are a waste of space.....mine also reads the notes when I'm there....and then mumbles when I ask a question...and then said...there's nothing wrong with you guys- I'm not going to give you any drugs go straight on the IVF waiting list....tra-la-la....

    A friend of mine was told she'll never have babies...they said they'll give her clomid, they know it wont help they said, but they feel sorry for her...guess what...she fell pregnant the mont b4 she was supposed to start taking it....these doctors are a joke sometimes. I know that there are plenty of good docs out there....but where are they?
     
  17. Blue12

    Blue12 icsi miracle xo

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    Oh Brumbar those are terrible experiences. Do you have a journal? So they can't find anything? What tests have you had? Best wishes...hugs.
     

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