Please tell me you're joking... (FOB related)

[lily123]

Sorry guys this is a big rant!
Quite a few of you know my FOB story... but for those who don't, he still lives with his parents, and blows any money he gets on drugs, alcohol and going out. Once he gave me £50 for Esmee, but since then i've not seen a penny.
FOB has finally got a job (it's only taken him 2 years!) and as i'm really struggling financially i've asked him to contribute, he said he would which is all well and good, but when he told me exactly how much he would give i couldn't help but laugh.
This is how the conversation went...

FOB: "i know how much i need to give you a month for Esmee now!"
ME: "Oh right yeah thanks, you gonna just direct debit it into my account then?"
FOB: "No it's okay, i'll just give it to you now *hands me a ten pound note* there you are, thats for the month"
ME: *mouth drops open* "You're joking aren't you?"
FOB: "No, i thought that was quite reasonable?"

IS HE JOKING?!?!?! I do appreciate that he is contributing in some way but come on... how on earth does he think thats okay?!?!?! especially as he blows all his money on drugs and nights out, he doesn't have rent to pay, his parents buy everything he needs for him, and has never (apart from one time) given any maintainance for Esmee.

Just the other day we had a massive talk about how i wanted him more involved with Esmee, as he hardly ever sees her, and he apologized for being so horrible to me for the past few months, and said how he knows it's his responsibility as well as mine, and he's aware that he's been letting me and his daughter down and he'll be better, he promised. I'm not really angry, just sooo dissappointed in him. I haven't told him this because i AM happy he's contributing, but as we all know, £10 does not even cover a week i don't see why i should have to pay EVERYTHING

I'm aware that there are a lot or fathers who don't contribute to their children, and i am NOT trying to offend anyone by this post, i know that me and Esmee are in some way lucky that he contributes, i just needed to get this out
xxx

 

[CLH_X3]

if he was on the doll you would still get 5 pound a week so you would be entitled to very min is £20!

 

[lily123]

if he was on the dole then i'd understand, but he's not, he works 5 days a week from 9 to 5 and earns a good wage, so i don't see why this is relevant.
x

 

[gemabee]

get the csa onto him hun... what an arse.

 

[LittleMadam]

Completely agree with Gemabee. CSA his arse!

 

[teal]

£10 a month is absolutely shocking!

Huge hugs

I agree that contacting csa might be a good idea if you're comfortable with it xx

 

[sweetlullaby]

I agree hun go through the csa then it's 15% of his net income.

£10 a month barely covers two small packets of nappies that maybe only last a week or so!

 

[Jody R]

if he was on the doll you would still get 5 pound a week so you would be entitled to very min is £20!

if he was on the dole then i'd understand, but he's not, he works 5 days a week from 9 to 5 and earns a good wage, so i don't see why this is relevant.
x

I think what she means is, if he was on the dole he would still be required to pay you £5.00 per week which equals £20.00 per month and so she is agreeing with you that earning a wage and only paying you £10 for the month is too little.

 

[ProudMum]

i did an estimate of what i'd get if fob contributed to my children- on average he could earn around £1500 and apparently for 2 kids i'd get £400 a week but thats at his best weekly rate of pay. i checked thru the csa website, they have an entitlement calculator

 

[lesleyann]

not a single mummy but what if you write out a list e.g

Nappys x5 packs for the month total cost £20.00
wipes x 5 packs for the month total cost £6.00
Formula x 4 tubs for the month total cost £28.00

and show him exactly how much it costs you ect

 

[bump_wanted]

use the tenner as a baby wipe next time LO does a poo and send it back to him then get on to the csa am sick of dads that dont pay!! xx

 

[lily123]

^^that is hilarious! xxxxxx

 

[gemabee]

use the tenner as a baby wipe next time LO does a poo and send it back to him then get on to the csa am sick of dads that dont pay!! xx

thanks for givin me a good giggle

 

[CLH_X3]

if he was on the doll you would still get 5 pound a week so you would be entitled to very min is £20!

if he was on the dole then i'd understand, but he's not, he works 5 days a week from 9 to 5 and earns a good wage, so i don't see why this is relevant.
x

I think what she means is, if he was on the dole he would still be required to pay you £5.00 per week which equals £20.00 per month and so she is agreeing with you that earning a wage and only paying you £10 for the month is too little.

Thanks, Thats exactly what i meant!

 

[scottishgal89]

CSA...

 

[bloodbinds]

Go to CSA or i'm doing it for you!

Time he strapped on a pair and paid towards his Child!!

 

[McLovin]

CSA ALL THE WAY! He can't hide from them they will back date it from the day you call them! I'm glad i went to CSA. Also, a lot of people think this would get taken off ur benifits if you're on them....... as of this tax year it doesn't - all that money goes into ur bank.
CSA CSA CSA - got the ******* by the balls then. They're wallets is where it really hurts them!