PND Support Thread

[dovehouse]

hi everyone, this has taken me a long time to pluck up the courage to write, my lo is nearly 11 months old. when he was born i look back and can say for sure i had pnd. i had all the symptoms but just didnt want to accept it. i used to cry and wsh my husband could read my mind and know what i was going through. i think he kind of did too but also didnt want to accpet it. then i turned a corner and things looked like they were getting better. however for the past month or so i have started to feel rubbish again. i dont cry as much but am either really exhauseted and sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and feel exhausted all day, or then go through days of having trouble sleeping. i worry about stupid things, get really stressed out about stuf, and basically have alot of the symptoms you describe on the first page. however, is this possible still 11 months on?
i dont tend to stress about things wih the lo too much, its more about me and feeling useless and worrying over going back to work and just generally things get me really down when they dont need to (cos they are either out of my control or so insignificant to the big picture!)i dont know what to do, and think to msyelf that it will all go away as it started to the last time and maybe once am back at work everything wil be ok...i jsut cant see myself talking to a doctor as i dont know what they can do to help....surely its my issues and i have to help myself? i can normally talk to my oh about everything, but just cant seem to open up about these feeling. i probably look like i am absolutely fine to everyone as i put on a front about how i am feeling to my family and friends. thnk you for reading and letting me admit this to someone!!x

 

[becs0375]

Dovehouse, first of all well done you for admitting you have a problem xxx Its so hard to come to terms with things, are you going to go and see your GP??

 

[dovehouse]

thanks, now i have put lo in bed and got the flat to myself (oh is away tonight) i feel as though everything i said above was just a silly moment, like i do have phases and i feel ok and like i would be wasting someones time....however i do realise that as quick as snapping fingers i could change and feel all rubbish again. i really feel i need to open up to oh first and tell him exactly how i hhave been feeling, so i can have his support after i see my gp.if not i reckon i would see my doc and not tell him! thank you for your reply!will try my best to be honest with him over this weekend and let it all out. x

 

[becs0375]

It really helped me telling my OH exactly how I feel, I still have periods where I feel I am not coping and get angry! I am on anti depressants, my GP was brilliant!!

 

[dovehouse]

well i told my oh yesterday morning, we were having an argument and it all came out! feel a bit better, but now he is bein extra nice to me, tryig to cuddle me all the time and tell me he loves me etc, which is nice but feel smothered! he wants me to make doc appointment and wants to come with too, i dont know. am feeling ok at the mo, but know it will soon turn, but just cant face telling a doc, dont have a patient/doc relationshop with any of them at the surgery-as in i see a diff doc each time i go and dont really rate many of them to be honest! will just see how i get on now ive told oh
x

 

[braijackava]

Hi girls. I decided to post on here because I just had my 4th baby a little over 2 weeks ago and am worried about getting depressed again. I had post partem depression with my last two kids, and am worried it will come back again. I was on anti depressants until my now 5 year old was 3 and we started ttc. I don't feel like they helped me at all. I really need to be upbeat and positive and have energy now that I have 4 kids. I also have a lot of weight I want to lose, I think that will also help with the depression. I don't know what my next step should be. Is there a way to avoid it happening again?

 

[Mystique26]

Hey there. I just got back frm PND and it was not a beautiful experience.

braijackava, try to get as much help as you can, especially with 4 kids. I was once told to enjoy my kids during the time I had PND cuz I used to feel like they take over my life. I took the advice and it made me feel better so I will pass that piece of advice to you. Try to enjoy the company of your 4 wonderful miracles and at teh same time, get as much help as you can. Talk to your OH about how you feel. Sending you hugs and hope you dont experience PND this time.

 

[annawrigley]

I feel like my baby doesn't even like me Its ok when it is just me and him but he is at nursery every day and I feel like he doesn't even know who I am anymore Every time I pick him up he holds his arms out to his key worker and cries and its so hard cos I miss him so much all day and just want him to be happy to see me but he's not! I was having trouble keeping up with college work a few months ago and had a meeting with one of my tutors and the nursery manager and she said "Oh the staff have no concerns about Noah so thats good" and it just made me really offended. Why would they even need to ask if they had any concerns?! My college work has nothing to do with my ability as a parent!

 

[Mrs K]

Hi Everyone I have just joined the forum tonight and hoping to meet some people who can give me advice and a friendly ear. I had my little one in November and everything was going brillant the thrill of a new baby however everything has turned bad as the past month or so - I had my first period when she was 8 weeks old and it was horrfic the sickness, pain, I was in bed for a week or so and ever since things jus aint right. Most days I struggle to actually get out of bed but I have no choice so I get up and the mood is low. I have no appetite at all but am eating cause I know I have too, even the smell of food makes me so sick. I feel sick all the time. My main problem is I am obessed with thinking something is going to happen to me, everyday there is a new aligment - pains in my stomach, sore shoulder, sore heads and everytime I think I am actually going to die - it sound mental but I cant help it. I dont hardly go out far I just like staying in the house or at my mums, maybe a walk here and there - I alwyas plan to go into town etc but never actually get there and if I go anywhere I feel sick and as if Im going to faint (in the chemist today!) I went to my doctor and explained all this and she said I hadnt PND but she gave me antidepressents howver when I took one I had a bad reaction to it and was in bed for three days ill so after being so sick I refused to take anymore. I now have started seeing a homepathic who is helping me however the mood can be low - last night the worst ever I was so down. I never think of harming myslef or my baby as I love her so much but it is starting to get me down and I def dont want to go back to my GP as she isnt very nice. Sori for for the long thread but this is the first time Ive actually discussed it x

 

[Delamere19]

I have had PND since my LO was about 3 months old. I am on anti depressants and I have some good days and some bad days. I get support from my sister and mum but my OH never asks how I am. I had several talks to him about how I would like more support with the baby but he doesn't seem to take it on board. We came close to splitting up last week. I really love my little boy but sometimes I feel like I am walking around under a dark cloud.I feel so guilty but I just find I don't have the motivation to even want to get up some days,of course I do cos I have my son to take care of but I hate feeling this way.

I want to feel normal again,I just feel like any little thing can turn my mood so black at the moment.

 

[gertrude]

I think I might have this - or rather a friend did and suggested I look at the edinburgh test

feel a fraud typing this though - I don't feel depressed, more just can't cope and want to run away

 

[KittenKat]

I just took the edniburgh test online and I scored what would indicate depression and to be honest that scares the hell out of me. I have issues with talking about my problems anyway so actually admitting any of how I am feeling to someone I don't really know is one of the worst things I could think of.

I recently moved so I dont know my HV very well (met her once) same with my doctor who unfortuneately has a very strong indian accent and a manner that struck me as a little uncaring (she did my 1yr olds developmental review and as she wouldn't "perform" for her seemed a little pee'd off with it, that and my 3 yr old playing up as she was bored out of her mind)

How I am feeling (and acting) at the moment is hurting not only me but my OH too, he knows alot of how I feel thanks to us actually arguing as anger seems to cancel out the inability to talk. I would give my right arm to be able to type it all down and the correct people to be reading it and able to help me deal

 

[annawrigley]

Just did that test....

Total Score = 21
Total Score Analysis
The total score is suggestive of a depressive illness. Scores above 10 ought to be assessed further by a health professional.

Thought I was doing ok lately as well!

 

[sarah0108]

Girls, after battling with this for 2 years (since Harriet was born!) i am FINALLY getting help and i am on fluoxetine 20mg.

 

[sarah0108]

I need a moan

Why cant things EVER go in my favour?
Why am i in shit street with money?
Why do things have to be so complicated why i try make things better?

I dont want this fucking holiday, i dont want to go on my own, i cannot wear a bikini i WILL NOT enjoy myself and i wish it would f*ck off and inever booked it. My family can piss off about it aswell, thinking they know better anout every bloody aspect of my life. Well no. You do not.


ARGH so much pressure i wish everything would go away

 

[sarah0108]

p.s i have a few questions if anyone could answer

 

[braijackava]

Sorry dear I know how you feel.
OT but I have a little boy named Max to!
What were your questions?

 

[annawrigley]

Sarah Good on you for getting help. I've still not What are your questions?xx

 

[sarah0108]

Max is the best name

1- did any of you gain weight? I have and the GP said it'll probably work itself out when I'm on the meds but honestly, the weight gain is not helping AT all.


I can't type the other questions atm because I'm using my BB getting ready for work, ill be back tonight haha

 

[rainbows_x]

Well done for going Sarah

My weight goes up and down all the time, I have lost alot recently though. xxx