PND Support Thread

[annawrigley]

Don't know if I have PND but basically my teenage daughter and I fell out when I was heavily pregnant and she left me to live with her biological dad. I was very upset about this and was crying for days. We started talking again a couple of weeks after but had an even bigger bust up not long after my baby was born. I have been feeling really low about it and got in touch with her again. She came round that day and I thought everything would be better again, but feel even worse after she told me her dad took her to the docs that morning and they have referred her to a child psychologist as she has been self harming. I feel so awful and blame myself and feel it's all my fault. I have drove her to this and this is why she has left. My 7 year old tells me hates me most days and today when he's said it I feel like I just want to run away. I feel like a really bad mum and feel like I am ruining my kids lives whilst being around, and they'd be better off without me. I love them all so much but for days now I have not only felt the deep pain inside of me, but I'm finding the fake smile harder to paint and I'm finding the suicidal thoughts harder to battle with.
Is this awful pain PND , or is it normal to feel like this after recent events ?

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I'm 18 and have a lot of problems but I don't blame my mum for any of it. She was a great mum (isn't anymore, but that's a different story ) Hope things get better for you xx

 

[My_First]

I have started taking some anti depressants for my PND as of yesterday, now I have been on anti d's before (around 6 years ago), however i am currently feeling quite detached and tired and anxious, I cant remember if this is normal? Does it pass?

 

[bumpy_j]

I think i'm getting ready to start talking about my feelings here, i'm not completely there yet but I nearly am. I keep getting irrational thoughts today about leaving for a few days and kept dumping him on my OH - I just desperately want my OH to get the hint and ask me if I think I have PND because I can't bring it up myself - I'd feel like a liar. I don't know if I have it, it's all hit me like a wave. I can't focus my heart keeps feeling like it's in my throat - i thought i'd been getting caffeine shakes everyday but i've come here for the first time and I relate to this and I really don't want to relate because I was sure I wasn't going to go down this road

 

[Skye1]

I have started taking some anti depressants for my PND as of yesterday, now I have been on anti d's before (around 6 years ago), however i am currently feeling quite detached and tired and anxious, I cant remember if this is normal? Does it pass?

Most antis raise your anxiety levels at first, once they are in your system then things will even out - everyone says stick with them as its worth it in the end

 

[LJaydow]

I was diagnosed with PND today and have been prescribed Citalopram for it. Feeling very anxious about taking them

 

[phuzz82]

hi everyone. just wanted to come on here to say something positive! after 16 months of being a useless, tired, rubbish mess of a mum i finally feel like i'm starting to get somewhere. this week i told my boy that i loved him for the first time! we're settled into a lovely routine now and most of the time i feel like i'm doing on ok job looking after him. we still have a long way to go and i've had to start taking ad's again but i honestly feel like we've turned a corner.
i now know that there is a light at the end of the looong pnd tunnel and i hope you can all see it very soon xxxx

 

[confused87com]

i have just been diagnosed with PND. I feel like i got conned by my health visitor into going to the doctor, for a mark on my baby...she made the appt, then when i got there doc had spoken to her. Now i have to see a psyc and start tablets. Thankfully i dont have to stop breastfeeding, that wud kill me . My OH doesnt understand, i thought he knew i was so low. He got cross when i said i have tablets, saying that only nutters go on them and i just need a good nights sleep. ( Not helpful) he said he thought we were doing fine......but he is always at work...i jsut wanna cry, but then again, i always do!

 

[sarah0108]

I need to go back, i have been 100x worse these last few days :S

 

[annawrigley]

Horrendous day today

 

[EllaAndLyla]

hi ladies, just looking for a bit of reassurance really. I have not been diagnosed with PND but i feel that i may be suffering, i was a previous depression and paranoia sufferer before birth anyways but i just feel all my emotions are getting too much for me and worse thoughts and feelings are overtaking the already bad ones i have usually.. I feel like my whole world is slowly caving inwards and no one understands. OH keeps telling me to get help and that my brain is not wired properly which really is not helping (he generally thinks he is right about everything and nothing he does or says is wrong). We keep argueing about stupid little things which also makes things worse. At the moment in my eyes my life will only be complete if i could just get my own place with OH and LO, i think that would give me the confidence to strecth my legs a bit more and i really think its what i need. Just getting there seems so far away . I love my LO with all my heart but sometimes i just cant be happy and i dont understand why, most of the time i sit here thinking im being selfish and i should put myself before her anyday, but sometimes i want to be happy too! I feel physically sick in my skin, some days i can barely look at myself in the mirror all i see is a fat and ugly beast staring back! I wish my family and OH could understand how i feel but as hard as i try to explain it, they will never know. Sorry for the rant. just feeling really low right now, should be in bed but instead im being a twat and sitting on the comp at 2AM moaning about how shitty i feel!!!!

The worst thing is, when people tell me i need help (OH) i am in denial. everytime i have seen the midwife/HV/GP i just say 'yeah everythings fine, i feel fine' and i dont know why i just cant admit it!!!!!! i can tell you ladies online but i cant tell the docs?!? grrrrrrrrr i get so angry with myself!!!!!

 

[annawrigley]

I never tell HV either I don't know why! It's just easier to say "yeah, fine" than "actually no..." I've arranged a counselling appointment for Tuesday though, FINALLY. Argh!
Sorry you're having a tough time xxx

 

[EllaAndLyla]

i have a GP appointment for mine and lylas 6 week check up and im so 50/50 on talking to him about it. i just dont have the confidence to come out with it!! to be honest i prefer talking to people i dont know, makes telling the truth a lot easier!! xx

 

[Emma 21]

i have a gp appointment on monday as i am not myself, friends have commented on it. I had pnd with my youngest, this time i do love my daughter but i dont enjoy anything (i daint even want to celbrate my college grades despite doing really well), i dont like being left alone with the kids, i havent eaten a proper meal in about 3 days, sometimes i sit and stare into space or cry. i wish i knew what was wrong with me i wanna snap out of it but cant

 

[rainbows_x]

I don't know what to do.

My Citalopram runs out on Friday, I phoned the doctors, she couldn't fit me in until 2nd August, I said I need a review and medication, earliest she can do it Monday. Will I be okay not taking it, going cold turkey for a few days? I'm on 20mg.

 

[becs0375]

Rainbows, I ran out for a couple of days and I was fine x

 

[Lea21]

Hi everyone. I have just been diagnosed with pnd 10months after having my daughter. I have been feeling the way i have for a while and until yesterday never sale anything to anyone. Finally saw the doctor and have been given anti depressants. I feel a bit crap to be honest. And a bit disappointed in myself for leaving it so long. I only went to doctors as i had a bit of a breakdown yesterday. X

 

[Emma 21]

so i guess its official... i went to the doctors 3 days ago on the advice of my midwife and i have been diagnosed with postnatal depression and prescribed paroxetine 20mg for it, my hv is gunna come and do listening visits and i see the gp next week. i feel useless that i need tablets though they help me think more clearly, i wanna be able to be a good mom... but how am i when i feel like this? i love my children but this is so dfficult wish i could snap out of it. i try and be strong but i cant, im pretending im fine but really im not and my friends dont understand. i told my sons godmother the other day and you know what she said... what do u have to be upset about? By the way i am 25 and my this is my 3rd baby she was born on the 28th June. My 2 boys are almost 3 years old and 19 months

 

[cyanidepill]

Just spotted this thread. Made me feel a bit brighter to see i'm far from alone. I had my 2nd baby 6 days ago and already the PND setting in. Midwife is on the case and arranging some counselling to begin with. I had severe PND with my first - which was 8 years ago, and i've always been at risk for getting it with this pregnancy.

I love my daughter completely, and i can only liken the way i feel to that of grieving..... what my body is grieving is completely beyond me! my daughter is everything i could want, and more.

It just makes no sense at all. x

*edited* Just wanted to say i knew i had the PND both times, and was planning on mentioning it to MW when she came out yesterday, I told my hubby that if i know my body well enough, i'll 'go' as soon as she asks how i'm doing. Sure enough, she asked how baby was - which was fine, then she said 'and hows mum doing'.....i just sat, put my head down and broke down - sobbed and sobbed, whilst giving my daughter her bottle infront of MW and hubby.

I know there is no shame in PND - why should there be. My body is going though yet more major changes. It's just one of those things, but i feel so much better for my MW to be aware of it and that my body in it's own strange way said 'help me' - when i couldn't find the words myself. xx

 

[Emma 21]

Just spotted this thread. Made me feel a bit brighter to see i'm far from alone. I had my 2nd baby 6 days ago and already the PND setting in. Midwife is on the case and arranging some counselling to begin with. I had severe PND with my first - which was 8 years ago, and i've always been at risk for getting it with this pregnancy.

I love my daughter completely, and i can only liken the way i feel to that of grieving..... what my body is grieving is completely beyond me! my daughter is everything i could want, and more.

It just makes no sense at all. x

*edited* Just wanted to say i knew i had the PND both times, and was planning on mentioning it to MW when she came out yesterday, I told my hubby that if i know my body well enough, i'll 'go' as soon as she asks how i'm doing. Sure enough, she asked how baby was - which was fine, then she said 'and hows mum doing'.....i just sat, put my head down and broke down - sobbed and sobbed, whilst giving my daughter her bottle infront of MW and hubby.

I know there is no shame in PND - why should there be. My body is going though yet more major changes. It's just one of those things, but i feel so much better for my MW to be aware of it and that my body in it's own strange way said 'help me' - when i couldn't find the words myself. xx

theres definately no shame in it hun, im on antidepressants and have been for a week now, socialising helps i have joined a surestart group and take my two boys and lexi which gets us all out the house

 

[cyanidepill]

Well today we ventured down to my mams and the inlaws, spent less than an hour at each house -they don't live far from us, and i couldn't cope. I sat there (more so at the inlaws) and didn't want to interact or make conversation. Fought back tears when i was there as i really didn't want to go to pieces in front of them.

When we were at my mams, I wasn't emotional, and was talking etc but then got hit with an immense wave of tiredness. I'm just 6 days post section.

I got really frustrated as i had done so well today - made it nearly all day without having an 'episode'.

I just wish that there was some rational reason as to why i feel like this - i keep analysing it all and there is no justifiable reason for me to feel this way. My baby girl is amazing and i'm so in love with her. xxx