PND Support Thread

[asacia]

Hi all. I'm not sure if this is the right place for me.

I sometimes feel like it would have been better if I didn't have him, because at least then I could die without leaving him behind. Does anyone else feel like that?

i have felt like this too love ur not the only one.

hpe u start to feel better soon, have u spoke to ur hv or do u have more good days then bad?

I've got a history of mental health problems so I don't know if this counts as PND. I was fine while pregnant.

I'm trying to figure out some childcare so I can have therapy. I don't have any freinds or family who could watch LO and I can't take him with me.

 

[moomin_troll]

if u claim tax credits then u will get money off so findin a nursery shudnt be too hard.

depression it self is bad enough, ive also got a history of mental health myself but the area im in they arent really doin much to help me.

im gettin better then i was tho it helps that zane can now come over n give me a hug and show he loves me rather then me thinkin he hated me

 

[jenny_wren]

Hi all. I'm not sure if this is the right place for me.

I sometimes feel like it would have been better if I didn't have him, because at least then I could die without leaving him behind. Does anyone else feel like that?

i've felt like it too

i'd speak to someone ...
i left it months before i spoke to anyone
and it only made it worse

im here if you need me

xx​

 

[asacia]

if u claim tax credits then u will get money off so findin a nursery shudnt be too hard.

depression it self is bad enough, ive also got a history of mental health myself but the area im in they arent really doin much to help me.

im gettin better then i was tho it helps that zane can now come over n give me a hug and show he loves me rather then me thinkin he hated me

I don't get any tax credits, and can't afford a nursery place or a childminder. I'd only be able to leave him a couple of hours as well. Really wish I had family or someone I trust to leave him with for an hour and a half so I could get start therapy. It took so long to get them to refer me, because the waiting lists are so long, and now they will help me, and I can't get there!

Really feels like this is insurmountable Also feels like I'm going to do a terrible job of raising LO, and he is going to be condemned to an awful life.

 

[jenny_wren]

what about your health visitor
she could come to you for an
hours chat thats what mine does
which is kinda therapy ... it's
someone understanding to talk too
atleast plus you can still look after lo

xx​

 

[asacia]

Who is your Health Visitor? Mine came to see me a couple of times but she is so smiley and happy it was impossible to tell her how I felt!

 

[moomin_troll]

how come u dont get tax credits?

 

[asacia]

how come u dont get tax credits?

OH has too high an income, but it is all wrapped up in the business.

 

[jenny_wren]

Who is your Health Visitor? Mine came to see me a couple of times but she is so smiley and happy it was impossible to tell her how I felt!

her name's chris shore
she's smiley and lovely but she's
quite mumsy and easy to talk to

x​

 

[asacia]

Another silly question. I feel like I'm just waiting for LO to die. I hold me most of the time and watch him breathe, convinced he is going to stop. It hurts so much snd I'm sure I'm going to lose him. Do other people feel like this?

 

[jenny_wren]

i still think about what i'd do if she
died in the middle of the night
or if she suddenly stopped breathing
when i was holding her ....
who i'd have to call and what i'd tell my oh

i've been thinking about it since
i gave birth ...

x​

 

[aurora32]

Hi Girls,

Hope you dont mind me popping in, not been on here in months as had Euan back in March before which i was on here 24/7 after i had him got really bad pnd and felt so down didnt want to be bothered with any one dr put me on prozac but felt worse, was having black thoughts about death and if my kids were to die etc it was horrible, my situation dont help either we are a family of 5 living in a 2 bed flat 11 floors up, nearly lost my kids out the bloody window 2 weeks ago they were up waving at their dad and the first safety catch gave way, if there hadnt been a second catch they would have been out over and well dead!! window got closed and now locked, means no fresh air in the room but id rather that than them falling out, phoned the council and was told id have to put a written complaint in and go through the normal channels, im like omfg my kids nearly bloody fell out of a window that you recently put in that isnt even safe, they just dont give a sh8te. My Oh was recently laid off so we cant afford to go private rent at the moment so stuck in this rut, was feeling ok for a while but feel so down and fed up, i went to the dr the other day to talk to him about it and the fact my periods are all over the place, bled every day last month (sorry for TMI) and was told he didnt have time to talk about both so had to choose which was more important so chose periods as i was getting anaemic cos of it, took me 2 weeks to get that appointment..... think i would be btter off out of it all as nothing ever goes right, ive no friends in the area im in as its a rough area and not a place you want to mix with ppl so have no outlet to get away for a bit either, would nevr hurt my kids i love them to bits just wish i could provide better for them.
sorry for the long saga girls just needed to get it all out........

 

[Beausmummy]

Hi
I am new and have been suffering since I was pregnant. My little boy is 11 months today and I love him so much and also have 2 other sons that are 12 and 10. I got medication when my lo was 2 months as I had been through hell with the panic atacks and dread all the time. I am shocked to see other people worry their lo's will die as this is my main problem. I hardly leave the house as I am so scared something 'bad' will happen.

I have 3 beautiful healthy children , a gorgeous husband and lovely home so I feel I should'nt moan but I feel guilty that I am rubbish at everything and don't deserve such perfect children and I am a terrible mom cos I don't hardly do anything with them and am tired all the time.

I really thought I was over it as panic attacks have stopped but all the other feelings havn't gone.

Thanks for listening as no one understands and just think I am moaning.

Lisa xxx

 

[aurora32]

Hi
I am new and have been suffering since I was pregnant. My little boy is 11 months today and I love him so much and also have 2 other sons that are 12 and 10. I got medication when my lo was 2 months as I had been through hell with the panic atacks and dread all the time. I am shocked to see other people worry their lo's will die as this is my main problem. I hardly leave the house as I am so scared something 'bad' will happen.

I have 3 beautiful healthy children , a gorgeous husband and lovely home so I feel I should'nt moan but I feel guilty that I am rubbish at everything and don't deserve such perfect children and I am a terrible mom cos I don't hardly do anything with them and am tired all the time.

I really thought I was over it as panic attacks have stopped but all the other feelings havn't gone.

Thanks for listening as no one understands and just think I am moaning.

Lisa xxx

I know where you are coming from hunn, feel totally the same terrified my 2 youngest especially something bad will happen too them, they must feel totally smothered by me, Pm me if you fancy a chat hunn....

 

[Beausmummy]

Hi
Thanks for understanding. I hope this will lift soon. I can't go out today but tommorow I am going to. I think this will help. Do you get out much? The people in the village where I live arn't very friendly and it makes me more paranoid. Ho do you do a p.m?
Lisaxx

 

[aurora32]

Hi
Thanks for understanding. I hope this will lift soon. I can't go out today but tommorow I am going to. I think this will help. Do you get out much? The people in the village where I live arn't very friendly and it makes me more paranoid. Ho do you do a p.m?
Lisaxx

No i dont get out much at all i live in a not so nice area and most of the people are not so nice you'd get your face thumped if you looked at them wrong, not got my car just now which makes it all the more worse.

To Pm hun clic on my name on my avatar and there is a drop down menu and send a pm is one of the options.

 

[bumpsmum]

Hi everyone,

Thought Id introduce myself Im Gillian and was diagnosed with PND a few weeks ago I am on my second week of Prozac, managing side effects not too badly but do feel rough as hell. My little boy will be 6 months on Sat, he was born 7 weeks early by emergency c section due to severe pre-eclampsia and IUGR weighing 3lb 11. He is now roughly 13lb and doing well.

I feel very guilty about his start in life knowing its my fault he was early - I was taking on too much, stressed and overdoing it at work when I should have been on the wind down and taking it easy.

I was begining to feel a little better knowing I had admitted there was a problem and seeking help but now there is a chance Matthew will have developmental problems with his right arm, may need physio and a scan to rule out Cerabal Palsay all the anxiety, worrying and imagining every worst scenario have come flooding back. I think about what will happen if he develops epilepsy, has learning disabilities or mobility problems which have replaced the usual what if he gets meningitis or SIDS!!! Its never ending....

I have the Dr next week to see how im getting on so may need increase in meds or may just take a while for them to take effect. I have not left the house since Mon and cant be bothered even getting washed, all I want to do is nothing, Matthews playing on the floor and I feel guilty for not being more enthusiastic when playing with him, im more going through the motions today.

Im currently learning to drive and have a lesson at 5 and have had knots in my stomach since monday at the thought of it, I know if I cancel ill not go back to it again but really anxious, im going to suggest we just practice reversig etc so im still out but not driving iykwim.

Guess im just having a bad few days not helped by arriving but really neded to vent x

 

[asacia]

Hi Bumpsmum. I'm sure the pre-eclampsia wasn't your fault. I was induced because of pre-eclampsia, and I wasn't working at all during pregnancy, so had no stress and lots of sleep! It is just one of those things. Please don't blame yourself.

I know how you feel though, I feel like I was rubbish at pregnancy, rubbish at delivery, now rubbish as a Mum.

Good luck with your driving lesson. I'm going to start learning soon.

 

[boaz sarah]

i still think about what i'd do if she
died in the middle of the night
or if she suddenly stopped breathing
when i was holding her ....
who i'd have to call and what i'd tell my oh

i've been thinking about it since
i gave birth ...

x​

i completely understand that feeling as i didnt sleep for weeks when bo was born as i was too scared. a week before my son was born i watched my newphew turn white and stop breathing, he was in his rocker on the floor right in front of us and luckily we brought him back to life but we were told that if he was in his cot he would have died. the only way i got sleep was taking in turns with my husband i dont know if my husband stayed up or not but my thinking he was being watched was enough peace to let me sleep.
we have now invested in a sids blanket which has given me alot my peace of mind but he rarely sleeps in his cot anyway..

 

[boaz sarah]

Another silly question. I feel like I'm just waiting for LO to die. I hold me most of the time and watch him breathe, convinced he is going to stop. It hurts so much snd I'm sure I'm going to lose him. Do other people feel like this?

i suffer from nightmares and i wake up most nights and go wake bo up and just cuddle him....
it does get better..
how old is your child? (sorry i havent had a chance to read all the posts yet) i found once boaz got older and more active and more like a little person then a baby i stopped freaking out and worrying that he was going to die... now i dont know what i would do with out him and he has been the support ive need and the person who has saved my life...