PND Support Thread

[bumpsmum]

thats bull sh*t no one else can make an app, what if she's off long term? can you maybe say your 'in crisis' and demand an app, sorry I misread I thought you were on a few diff meds waiting lists are terrible eh. Hope you feel a little better soon, persevere with the meds Im starting to notice a difference feel free to pm me anytime xx

 

[Jkelmum]

Doesnt matter

 

[asacia]

Managed to persuade the GP to write a prescription, to tide me over until I can see the Pyschiatrist. It is a really silly thing, surely one of the receptionists could easily book an appointment!

Serina - are you okay?

 

[Jkelmum]

Managed to persuade the GP to write a prescription, to tide me over until I can see the Pyschiatrist. It is a really silly thing, surely one of the receptionists could easily book an appointment!

Serina - are you okay?

Not really but when I typed it didnt make much sense

 

[asacia]

Managed to persuade the GP to write a prescription, to tide me over until I can see the Pyschiatrist. It is a really silly thing, surely one of the receptionists could easily book an appointment!

Serina - are you okay?

Not really but when I typed it didnt make much sense

Want to try again? It can help to talk

 

[Jkelmum]

Ok bare with me and I am sorry if its a jumbled mess

I have the perfect family and its now complete so why do I hate myself and why am I so awful to OH ...for example the other day I was making a bottle and holding Lily so he took over making the bottle and I flipped sayin how he thought i couldnt cope and then was a bitch with him until bedtime ...yesturday I gave him lily while i emptied her bath I had planned on massaging her but he put her nappy on and i went mad sayin he had spoilt my plans of gettin her back into routine ...then when he asked anything about her i said do what u want u know best .... I just feel like I need to do it all myself and when sombody offers help i feel there sayin i am a bad mum yet they are only tryin to help...I cant remember the last time i was happy ...I cant sleep ...I am always tired ...I just dont know what to do or even why i feel like this ...I know i should speak with sombody but I am scared of ending up like my real mum she wasnt diagnosed until i was 3 and my brother was 18 months ...she ended up being sectioned she then chose to have to us put in care bcos she couldnt cope without the wanker who sexually and phisyically abused us her choice a man over her kids cos she believed she was a bad mum ...

 

[asacia]

It is very, very rare to be sectioned, even with very severe PND. The fact that you recognise you aren't yourself is a good sign, and if you see your GP and talk about how you feel, they will help. You could explain your fears about being sectioned, and your worries about ending up like your real mum and they'll be able to reassure you. Is your HV nice?

 

[Jkelmum]

its not that i think i will be sectioned just oh i dont kno i just dont want to go gp then he speak with hv then she try get ss involved i kinda scared that once i admit anything the ball will roll way out of my hands if that makes sense ..but i also dont wanna leave it to get worse been docs 3~4 times but once there always find sum other reason to be there

 

[bumpsmum]

asacia - glad GP was reasonable to write a prescription, whole set up is just CRAZY! Hope tablets start working for you soon

Serina - im really sorry your having a rough time, i know exactly how you feel about wanting to care for lo by yourself, however it sounds like its starting to put strain on your and OH relationship, try and let him help out more, took me a long time loking over my oh shoulder but now he sees to Matthew fri and sat morning before work and i get a lie in. Also, SS do not get involved unless HV sees a risk to the child which is clearly not an issue for you x

 

[jenny_wren]

i was so scared ss would get involved
if i said something ... but unless they're is
a real danger to you or your kids they wont
your hv will just pop round for regular visits
well mine does anyway ...

she's round tomorrow in fact

i'd speak to someone serina just explain your
worries and what not the longer you leave it
the crappier you'll feel
i left it 4 and a bit months before talking to
someone and that felt like a lifetime

you know where i am if you wanna chat

xxx​

 

[Abblebubba]

Hello girls i cant help but think this is where i belong now, and all you girls seem lovely and helpful.
The other day i was sitting in my room i had been woken up really early by tyler and i fed him and then i went back to sleep, my mum woke me up at about 9am and said she was going out and she wouldnt be back for about four hours. That was it i just burst into tears, i was so angry that she wanted to go out and i just dont know why.
The other day my son, my son that i love so much and i should protect fell off the bed. [its not a big bed about 2 foot off the ground] but still i put him in the middle of the bed and i only turned for a second. I just cant believe i let it happen i felt asoloutly usless he screamed his little heart out, i checked his head ears and eyes and he wasnt being sick, i called the HV and she said as long as he isnt vomiting or being larthargic then not to worry too much but to keep an eye on him.

I feel like i hate my boyfriend for having a life, for going to work, for doing anything i just hate him for it, but i dont i love him to bits sooo much.
Im just soooo confused, i'm sorry for yabbering on, i just know how much everyone was waiting for me to fail im a teenager im disabled perfect mix for disaster im sure thats what people think.
Ow im so sorry if i have caused anyone offence i just dont know how else to put down my feelings, thankyou for listening.
I asked my HV about this and she said to take the PostNatalDepression Test, i took it and anything above ten is meant to be looked at by a professional i got 23 so im waiting to be reviewed.​

 

[kmh2009]

hugs to you abblebubba, i hope you can get the help you need and you can def get the support from us.you stil got my mobile n facebook if you need me at any time of day. even if its just for a moan.

xxxx

 

[jenny_wren]

abblebubba
we're all here if you need to talk hun

xx​

 

[Abblebubba]

Thankyouuu girls
Today has been a long day hmmm... ​

 

[bumpsmum]

hi girls, well last few weeks have been brutal for me, im all over the place and started to get really angry with myself, hubby, EVERYONE really, I feel really cheated out of the end of my pregnancy as Matthew was born 7 weeks early and I was so ill from 30 weeks, I am also riddled with guilt that its my fault!

Been feeling really lousy so went back to GP who agreed my meds should have kicked in by now so has upped my dose to 40mg (prozac) and I am now officially on sick leave as was due back to work 2 weeks ago. Also seen my HV and had a really long chat. Im really stressed about Matthew's development as he does not move his right arm as much as he should and various other obsticles from being prem, I felt the sooner I got him with other babies etc the better.

She agreed that maybe I needed some respite and Matthew would benefit from a nursey place even once a week, the staff will be able to monitor his development. I felt as if I was asking for handouts tho, we both have good jobs, a mortgage etc and just presumed id need to pay for private childcare when she mentioned getting him a local authority nursey I thought great but the hoops you have to go through, im my area you need to be dopped up etc to get any kind of help. (sorry girls now im just being a bitch aint I)

Anyways its all moved to fast, we went to a local nursery today, filled in the forms and will know on Fri if he gets a spot. This is making me think that maybe they think I cant cope???? which I can, just hitting a rough spot and could use some help right now. Do you think theyre gonna investigate me to see if im a fit parent? or am i just being irrational I kind of feel as if im commiting benefit fraud or something haha for enquiring if he's entitled to a nursery place!

I was initially not keen putting him in nursery so young and would have reliyed on family when I returned to work part time but I think nursery can offer him so much stimulation and monitor his development better than I can and put in any input they think is needed ie physio/speech and language therapy etc...we dont really have anyone around us with young kids and I dont want him to miss out, he has a place at mother and toddlers but every thursday I cant bring myself to take him, end up in a panic and spend the rest of the day annoyed and torturing myself for not taking him, so have stopped putting pressure on myself to commit to ongoing arrangements.

I know im rambling here girls but sometimes you need to just air your toughts....you know x

 

[Abblebubba]

​

 

[rubyrose]

I am not sure if I have this but have been really down the last 3 weeks. Archie's colic has been terrible. No one believs me when i say he sleeps about 2 - 3 hours a day but thats really what it is like. I told the health visitor today who dismissed it and said, "all babies get colic" so i am taking him to the docs asap. It's not just that its his had it since birth and we've given every treatment we can think of one week trials, infacol, dentinox colief and nothing has worked.

I physically cannot cope with it anymore. I've lost a stone in four weeks because I have no appetite, I spend half the day crying or feeling shit and just want to go up to my room and be alone. I sometimes get angry with archie never enough to do anything but i scream and cry frantically and im sure that makes him worse to then i feel guilty and worthless for getting angry and a bad mum for doing it.

I just dont even take an interest in myself anymore. Hubby tells me he finds me attractive and all but i feel like crap and i feel like i look like it to. I used to be neat and well dressed now i just spend all the time in my maternity jeans and my tops dont fit properly because of my belly then i look in the mirror and feelworse.

I have no energy and just feel like i cant cope. I love my son but at times i feel not attached to him at all like i just want to run away and have my old life back. I feel so bad even typing all of this im such a failure.

 

[bumpsmum]

I can sympathise how your feeling having a colicy baby can be stressful, my son had rally bad reflux and that was tough enough when he scremed with that. Maybe mention to GP how your feeling when you take Archie in, you HV sounds like a waste of space tbh and should be supporting you better that this. Is there any family that can help during the day let you get a rest? some time to yourself will really help.

Feel free to PM me anythime if you need to chat x

 

[rubyrose]

I am going to mention it. I have a fewpeople that can take him a few hours somtimes but everyone works and i feel so guilty dumping a screaming baby on them in their precious free time.

He constantly hiccups and he gets peed off with them and that sets him off then he brings tiny bits of milk up 10 mins after feeds which sets him off again its like a vicious circle.

Today he has cried all day i ended up crying over his moses basket while he cried my husband was at his darts thing that he goes to once a week so i was with him for 5 hours though my dad gave me an hour break as he was going out and i just sat upstairs crying.

Thanks for replying helps to know i am not the only one feeling like this. Feel like I should be happy and loving my new life with the baby.

 

[bumpsmum]

maybe worthwhile mentioning hiccups etc to GP too, having been through it sounds like reflux to me, maybe infact gavisgon will help which GP can prescribe? in the meantime you could maybe try creating an incline in Archies's basket either a few books under the head end of the stand or a folded blanket or towel under the mattress so his head is above his stomach, prevents the acid/vomit comming up. Also we lay Matthew on his left side with rolled up blankets either side of him so he didnt roll but obv I cant recommend this sleeping position although it worked for us, whilst they might not work for Archie trying a few diff things maybe something will help him settle and sleep and you can try and get a sleep.

I would not worry about taking up people's free time, im sure they would rather see you feeling better by getting a break and some sleep than do something else x