PND Support Thread

[bumpsmum]

welcome back Kirsty, how you feeling now?

no experience of antipsychotics ascacia hun but hope things are ok for you just now

abbie - it must be really hard feeling limited in the things you can do with yor baby, probably stuff I would take for granted but your doing a great job and feeling that way is very understandable you know we are always here if you need us x

 

[JayleighAnn]

I feel like shit today I'm such a shit mum all he's done since yesterday afternoon is whinge and cry and I don't know why and I snapped last night when he wouldn't sleep and just screamed for 2 hours. I shoved my bedroom door open really hard (luckily we have a towel holder on the radiator behind it, so it just hit that and didn't hit the wall and bang) and shouted at him he screamed more and I felt so guilty. I just can't cope with his constant crying when theres nothing wrong. All I do is either get angry and have to leave the room or cry with him

 

[Abblebubba]

I feel like shit today I'm such a shit mum all he's done since yesterday afternoon is whinge and cry and I don't know why and I snapped last night when he wouldn't sleep and just screamed for 2 hours. I shoved my bedroom door open really hard (luckily we have a towel holder on the radiator behind it, so it just hit that and didn't hit the wall and bang) and shouted at him he screamed more and I felt so guilty. I just can't cope with his constant crying when theres nothing wrong. All I do is either get angry and have to leave the room or cry with him

Awws hun

Your not a shit mum, it can be hard when they just cry all the time for no reason, could he be teething? babies can sence when somethings wrong so when we are sad it effects them, thats why this is such a viscious circle, were sad, so they cry, then we get worse because they are now sad + they get even more upset.
we are all here for you if you need us. xx​

 

[JayleighAnn]

I don't think he was teething, but he had calpol and teething gel anyway. He just cries all the time, the only time he doesn't is when he's feeding or sleeping, which is a very rare occcasion, or when he's playing, which only lasts for 5 minutes and then he just cries at me.

I thought it was supposed to get easier but it's just getting harder everyday

 

[3boys]

hey guys, hoping I can join you guys. I was diagnosed with severe postnatal depression about 5 months ago (my youngest is 7months) my doc thinks i had it since my first baby 4 years ago but never dealt with it (also it wasn't as severe) My husband forced me to go to our docs after i smashed a bowl and then used the broken bits to slice my arm. It was the only way i could release the pain. I was quickly put on 120mg of cymbalta which i messed with for a while because i didnt want to accept that i needed medication to function. Once i accepted i needed the pills things started to look up I was able to function normally and think rationally and life was good, then i missed one evra patch and found out i was pregnant again. Which i found so ironic seeing as in it took me years to concieve my other kids. Went to see my doc and she took me off the meds quickly. I'm now suffering from terrible withdrawals including an irregular heartbeat, sickness, dizzyness not to mention the emotional effects. I just feel so overwhelmed and helpless, all i ever wanted was to be a mam and now i have that and i should be on cloud 9 so i don't understand what is wrong with me. My husband tries to help but he just says don't be upset and to trust him that everything will be fine but i dont see how, I am constantly on the verge of tears I cant cope with the simpliest of tasks. I feel like im letting everyone down i wish i could just pull myself together and get on with life. Be like a million other women on the planet and be a good wife and mother. I dont really know what my point is i just dont know what to do. This baby is here and of course i love it. But if im honest i just want to climb into bed, pull the covers over my head and stay there forever. I mean how grown up is that? Thanks for listening

 

[carolyn_s]

Hi guys,
feel bad becuase i havent posted anything on here for ages. i had a dr's appointment yesterday and completely broke down after it. Ive had my meds increased which obv means that the dr's think im getting worse not better.
i start counselling next week. couldnt stop crying the whole day yesterday - completely gave up. The dr and health visitor have started being really patronising since i admitted ide had suicidal thoughts. health visitor now coming round everyday to keep an eye on me.
feel useless....everything getting me down. especially money. I have been trying to work (avon) but i think i would be better of on IS just dont want to give up
rant over. xx

 

[soon2b6]

Hi ,I was diagnosed with PND last week by my doc, he has given me a prescription for lofepramine tablets but I havent collected them from the chemist yet. I am breastfeeding and am worried that it will get into my milk and affect Holly, the doc said its safe but I wondered if anyone has had any experience with this medicine whilst breastfeeding?Thank you

 

[asacia]

Soon2b6, Lofepramine was the first AD I was prescribed while breastfeeding. According to the Breastfeeding Network:
"amount in breastmilk likely to be too small to present risk to breastfed baby"

See:
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/Antidepressants_and_Breastfeeding_March_2009.pdf

We didn't experience any problems while taking Lofepramine.

 

[bumpsmum]

has anyone here developed any obsessive tendencies? I cant stop tweezing ingrown (and normal) hairs, mainly my legs which over the last few months of constant picking and tweezing are in tatters! I did this alot before preg but no where near as much, sometimes its all I can think of and have to get up during the night if I get the urge. Starting to wonder if im bordering on self harm as I seem to have a sense of relief and momentary pleasure If I tug a tough one n find myself tweezing normal hairs randomly hoping they hurt?????

I seem to zone out and my mind goes blank other than the urge to pull hairs, even today Matthew was in his bouncy chair looking for atention and all I could focus on where the tweezers in my hand! I dont want to go to Dr incase I get laughed at or worse they think im harming myself (which im not) but seeing HV tomo think its something I should mention? x

 

[asacia]

BumpsMum, I suffer from Compulsive Skin Picking, which sounds a lot like what you are going through, including the spacing out. It is related to OCD (which I also suffer from). I've found it isn't treated like self-harm so you should definitely mention it.

 

[bumpsmum]

thanks, I have noticed last few weeks I have been worse its usually my legs I attack but every time I go to the loo I inspect my legs and now my bikini line where my section scar is for hairs that 'need' pulled and If I dont do it then and there its all I can think about, if I misplace tweezers I find myself digging in with my nails etc - I wouls say since having a baby it has gotten alot worse If I can get over the shame and embarressment will def talk to my HV as she is really nice and I feel comfortable with her x

 

[asacia]

I found it wasn't too bad while pregnant but has gotten worse since having LO. I spend ages stroking my skin looking for imperfection, and I the HAVE to pick. If I'm with family I find myself going to the toilet so I can pick at my skin. It leaves really bad marks and I feel really unattractive. When I do it, I feel like I'm in another world, like time has stopped still.

These two pages might help, one is about kin picking and the other is about hair pulling:
https://www.ocdaction.org.uk/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/skin picking.html
https://www.ocdaction.org.uk/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/hair pulling.html

 

[bumpsmum]

thanks have had a quick read and it all makes sense, nevr noticed it much but i suppose im a bit of a picker too any wee skin imperfection gets mangled when I KNOW I should be leaving it alone! Do you mind if I ask what kind of treatment you received and who did it? x

 

[asacia]

thanks have had a quick read and it all makes sense, nevr noticed it much but i suppose im a bit of a picker too any wee skin imperfection gets mangled when I KNOW I should be leaving it alone! Do you mind if I ask what kind of treatment you received and who did it? x

All my problems are quite intertwined, and because I've got other symptoms (self-harm, panic attacks etc) I couldn't have treatment at the OCD Clinic. The OCD clinic here have weekly groups and one-to-one therapy, so you might be offered something like that. I'm on the waiting list for Pyscotherapy which is quite intense and long-term.

 

[asacia]

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is what is usually offered:
https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/therapies/cognitivebehaviouraltherapy.aspx

There is a free online CBT course that my Doctor recommended, you might want to have a look at it:
https://www.livinglifetothefull.com/
It can be hard to find time to do it though! A while back I did a similar computer based one at the library which helped.

 

[JayleighAnn]

My HV came round tofay, thinks I'm feeling like this cause I'm tired.

I tried to explain to her that I'm not that tired and it's not normal to smash t.v remotes and have a paranoia about their baby dying, wake up screaming in the night from nightmares of ghost men stealing their baby.

I'm going to see my doctor Monday see if he'll take it seriously as I'm getting paranoid and scared about everything and it's very overwhelming

 

[carolyn_s]

Thanks to reading the above posts ive just realised i do something similar. perhaps not as extreme. Even as i was reading your posts i had one hand on the mouse and the other stroking my arm for imperfections. i have tiny marks all over my arms/legs and even certain parts of my back. Like you mentioned above i zoned out when i do - almost to the stage i dont even realise im doing it. I also think im doing it on my face. If i get the tiniest blackhead i will squeeze and pick untill my face bleeds... do you think it will calm down when my PND gets under control? x

 

[xTaylorsMummy]

hi there i havent posted on here before.

My baby is 2 weeks old and i have a 20month old daughter. Im really struggling today, no idea why if its because im tired or just fed up =[. My mum is having cemotherapy atm so i cant talk to her about how i feel. The only person i can talk to is Other Half but he doesnt understand. I do the night feeds because he doesnt hear him, and by the time i wake him up i might aswell do it. He does let me sleep in in the morning and says i could spend all day in bed if i wanted too. My little man is soo good in the day but at night he wakes every hour and drives me insane.. Last night i even had worrys if iv done the right thing and wanted anougher baby, which then makes me feel even worse because its not his fault. =[

I just dont no what to do, i have noone to talk to ect. Sorry for my moan! Even writting this i feel so guilty. I havent stopped shouting at my little girl even though she hasnt done anything wrong! =[ sorry

 

[asacia]

Carolyn, I'm sure it'll settle down. I've had it for years, and it flares up with times of stress. When I'm happy, it is almost unnoticeable. When I was pregnant, I hardly did it at all. How is your PND at the minute?

TaylorsMummy, nice to meet you. I'm sorry about your Mum, and sorry you are feeling low. Do you have an understanding HV you could talk to, or your GP?

 

[tinkabells]

Hi,
I need to get this out, i think i have PND, im not sure, hollie for the last few nights is wide awake, so im not getting much sleep, but i do love her to bits and wouldnt not want her here but i think its my own doing and my parents where she has got used to being picked up and cuddled and i now, dont wanna pick her up all the time otherwise i cant get anything done if i have her constantly on me, she will only fall asleep on me, or if shes in her pram going for a walk or whatever, she wont just fall asleep on her own, im trying to get her to sleep in her cot, but im getting up all the time, where she has fallen asleep on me and i put her back down again and then 5 mins later shes awake again, its driving me spare, where i just wanna scream at her, (i havent, i have walked out the room and left her crying for 5 mins) but i makes me wanna have a cigeratte, i havent smoked since i was 14 weeks pregnant(i didnt find out i was pregnant til i was 9 weeks)

I just seem to get so frustrated and just wish she was always asleep to give me a break, even when i go over my parents they dont really help, i have to do everything for hollie, i have to ask them to just feed her to give me a break, or to watch her while i go for a bath at there,s but even when i go for a bath, it will only last about 10mins cos i feel bad that i should be with her.
I feel like i want some time away from her?
Am i bad mum??? This morning i just cant stop crying but im trying to keep it quite so my mum dont hear me as i stayed at hers lastnight, hollie is just sitting in her pram gurling away
Sorry for long moan, dont know where else to turn to?! xxx