PND with a 2 year old..Is it possible?

[Buddysmum89]

I feel utterly ashamed and rotten for what im about to type, as i blame myself for pretty much everything!

Ive always had it easy with Sebastian (my son), he was a great baby slept through really young, didn't bother when teething..Was a bit slow with his development but he seems to be catching up nicely..But i just wish i had that love for him that most parents have for their toddlers!

To be honest, i feel like i mean nothing to him!..He prefers the company of anyone else but his mum!..If my parents come and see us he will run to them and forget about me for the rest of the evening, and then he'd rather cuddle up with his dad (My OH), rather than sit with me, as soon as i sit next to him i get whined at or he moves :\

My OH seems to think that he doesn't want me because i spent much of his youth at college, and when i got back i was too exhausted to bond with him (I did half 5 mornings until about 4/5 in the afternoon)..But im just not sure myself!

I had a shock MC in January, and to be honest it really knocked me for six..I didn't tell anyone about it (my parents)..But i just felt so lost!, then the month after that my nephew was born and that just made me feel so angry and bitter!, I sometimes wish this baby would of survived instead of my son..Im full of resentment and i know its not my sons fault..I know that was a very heartless thing to say..But i just feel so..Meaningless!!

So after all this my question is can you still get PND when your child is older than a baby (He's almost 29 months), or am i 2 years too late?

Thanks!

 

[lau86]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this.
I don't know if you can have postnatal depression at 29 months, have you always felt like this about your son?
Have you thought about seeing your doctor? It does sound like you're depressed x

 

[tryfor2]

Clinically, any mood disorder that comes on within a year of having a baby is considered PND or, post natal mood disorder. But that's just semantics. If you're depressed you're depressed--doesn't matter why or when or how. You simply need to feel better. I have a history of depression and have had PND twice now. My eldest son is exactly one month younger than yours and I often feel like he doesn't love me either. He far prefers his dad or my MIL. I feared this was bc I bonded with him poorly at the beginning due to depression. Nurses have assured me that my son's behaviour indicates a "strong attachment." Apparently a super clingy child can indicate poor attachment--seems opposite to what one would think, but that's what I was told. In any case, I think your feelings are more concerning than how your son reacts to others and it's important you discuss them with a health professional. I must say that your immediate reaction of "oh my son hates me" sounds very familiar and strikes me as typical of a depressed person.

I don't think you should worry about whether you have postnatal depression or just regular depression. What you should concentrate on is the fact that you're feeling crappy and need to start feeling better. Your dr can advise whether you should try therapy or medication or both, but please seek help. I was in a very poor state a matter of weeks ago and am now feeling just about back to normal. Things are almost never as hopeless as they seem. I hope things improve for you soon and know that depression is far more common than you likely think and there are many of us who understand. Take care.