Poor OH..... I darent DTD!!!

[Loobyloo30]

Im way to scared to DTD and havent since i found out im pregnant. Ive heard way too many stories about bleeding after or cramping etc which i just darent risk happening!! Feel sooooooooo bad though as OH is getting really upset about it. Not sure what to do!!! ARGH! xx

 

[purechaos109]

I think that almost any doctor will tell you that having sex while pregnant is fine! I've never heard anything about sex causing cramping or bleeding after unless it is too rough!!

If you really feel uncomfortable with it is there a way you could do oral? Would that make him happy until you feel comfortable having sex? I personally don't like oral but I have heard from a few friends that they give oral when they do not want to have sex!

 

[MillieMoo]

I'm afraid he's just going to have to understand! I done the same thing and only just had sex yesterday fir the first time! My dh totally understood as I explained to him what could happen and he actually felt the same as I did. Just try explaining to him!

 

[purechaos109]

Quick question... is this your first?? and secondly have a convo with your dr about his! I think they might be able to sooth some of your fears!

 

[Loobyloo30]

Thanks girls. Its on B&B that ive read about bleeding after sex........ there must be a million posts on here saying it! I darent DTD or orgasm. Ive tried explaining to OH or offering other things LOL but he feels im using it as an excuse and that ive just gone off him. (i have got zero sex drive) but im just scared i'll hurt babba!! I'll be fine after 12 weeks but i feel so bad making him wait that long xx

 

[Loobyloo30]

Oh and yes its my first after a chemical which is why im so paranoid xx

 

[MillieMoo]

It won't hur the babba it's just that during pregnancy your cervix gets a lot more sensitive so sex can hurt or it can cause bleeding! This bleeding will have nothing to do with the baby but it'll still make you worry! I completely lost my sex drive too! Just tell him your pregnant and your body is changing! Maybe also not to be so selfish!! Lol!

 

[purechaos109]

Hun... This is my second and while I'm no expert I'm pretty sure that sex in general is not going to cause any harm to anything other than your marriage if you keep withholding it lol jk!! But seriously I know lots of people who have sex right after they find out they are pregnant and I have had sex and a few orgasms since I found out I was expecting!! Nothing happened! I would be gentle and take it easy but I really do not think that anything will happen if you dtd! On the bright side you don't have a DH like mine that says "you have my seed now you don't need me anymore" hahahahaha lol!!

But talk to your Doc if you really feel this uncomfortable with it. I think your doctor will agree with me that sex is a natural part of life and as long as you are gentle there is no reason that sex will cause issues with your baby (unless there was already something wrong and already set in place beforehand)!

 

[Loobyloo30]

Thanks Milliemoo! I just know if i do it, then bleed i'll go insane with worry! (im highly strung at the best of times) haha xx

 

[Loobyloo30]

LOL purechaos!! My mum actually said i have a duty to DTD as his eyes might start wandering!! How harsh is that?! Probably true though. If I talk to a doctor maybe i'll feel better. I just wish i could relax and stop worrying about everything!!! Arrrggghhhhh its driving me crazy xx

 

[purechaos109]

You can keep yourself from doing all kinds of stuff but when it comes down to it you could just be missing out for no reason!! When I was pregnant with #1 no one wanted me to lift anything especially DH's grandma yet this time it doesn't seem to matter and I lift DS all the time (all 32 lbs of him) and I am also forced to take DH's grandma to town and she is in a wheelchair and I have to help her stand which if she falls has me holding all of her weight!! No one really seems to care and I have just come to the conclusion that life goes on even though you are pregnant!

 

[purechaos109]

Oh and your mom is crazy lol!! Thats old lady talk lol!! jk!! Having sex isn't a duty but it is something that our DH's love to have and get rather cranky without lol!!

 

[Loobyloo30]

Purechaos you make me laugh!!! No wrapping you up in cottonwool second time round then!! haha. Your right.......... life does go on and i need to stop being silly worrying every 2 seconds. Im sure after a chat with the doc i'll feel better xx

 

[purechaos109]

LOL I kinda miss being babied lol DH is doing a much better job of babying me this go around but everyone else has just basically said poo on you lol!!

Ya thats all you can really do is talk to your dr! I stopped using a toy (my big one that I love) after I got pregnant and downgraded to a little bullet and dh is just more gentle lol!! Thats all we have changed in our sex life!! GL

 

[mummy2anangel]

me neither haha but then again ive been advised no to by doctor because of previous miscarriages so its got me thinking why theyve said that if its meant to be entirely safe?? hmm?? maybe have a word with doc or midwife xx

 

[Lawhra]

Hi. I just wanted to reassure you that if your doctor says it is fine then it will be fine. As long as you don't have any other problems sex is great to keep doing as it helps your relationship and confidence.
Me and my OH have not changed our sex life at all. There are times when we did worry but it didn't last long. I am now 23 weeks and sex has been fine I couldn't go without it

 

[Loobyloo30]

Thanks girlies!! It does make me wonder why doctors tell you to abstain when youve had miscarriages though. Hmmmmmmm....... i'll speak to the MW or doc just to put my mind at rest lol xx