Desi's_lost
baby girl,boy and me
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2010
- Messages
- 5,405
- Reaction score
- 1
I'm not doing well with being apart from OH. I just get these feelings like everyone else left, "nothings" stopping him from leaving. Then I think what would I really do with two babies, alone, no real qualifications. No long term place to live. My grandma's got terminal cancer and might need to come live with my mom soon which means there really really wont be room for LO's and I. Being home without him just feels like i've gone back in time to before I had him.
I just keep getting so emotional. And then I either take it out on him by being really moody or just cry hysterically on the phone. And then feel guilty five different ways which just makes it worse anyway. Guilty that i'm making it more difficult for him, that i'm emotionally stressed out which is no good for the baby =P meh. tbh he doesnt always help himself cos i'll tell him i'm scared and he'll still be annoyed from me being moody and tell me to stop pushing him. But then i start crying and he realizes how upset I am.
Its not even his fault, i'm just so used to being abandoned and mistreated and its not like he can just stop going to work and sit on the phone all day like we used to. And i'm pretty sure pregnancy hormones are not helping one bit.
I'm just never happy, am I? Cried my eyes out while I was in NY. Keep crying now that i'm in CT. I just want us all together so I can go back to squabbling with OH about everything stupid under the sun and not have to always feel like somethings missing.
I just keep getting so emotional. And then I either take it out on him by being really moody or just cry hysterically on the phone. And then feel guilty five different ways which just makes it worse anyway. Guilty that i'm making it more difficult for him, that i'm emotionally stressed out which is no good for the baby =P meh. tbh he doesnt always help himself cos i'll tell him i'm scared and he'll still be annoyed from me being moody and tell me to stop pushing him. But then i start crying and he realizes how upset I am.
Its not even his fault, i'm just so used to being abandoned and mistreated and its not like he can just stop going to work and sit on the phone all day like we used to. And i'm pretty sure pregnancy hormones are not helping one bit.
I'm just never happy, am I? Cried my eyes out while I was in NY. Keep crying now that i'm in CT. I just want us all together so I can go back to squabbling with OH about everything stupid under the sun and not have to always feel like somethings missing.
