Positive things about being a single mummy.......

[McLovin]

What helped me come to terms with (and to stop being AS bitter about being dumped whilst pregnant) the thought of my life as a single parent (previously my worst nightmare!) was knowing that I'd wouldn't have to put my little boy into full time nursery care until I felt ready to.

My FOB (who unfortunately I live with!) would have made me go back to work after about 3 months - he would of insisted I go back full time, and still expected a spotless house and his home cooked meal on the table before his hunger grotts kicked in (usually about 6:30pm) but I would have compromised at part time and not budged on it.

He thinks/says this is because "I only planned to have kids so that I can sit on my arse and do nothing all day"
Boy is he going to have a shock when this baby gets here!
Truth is I don't want to work - I want my full time job to be being a good mum for my LO.
And through him 'terminating' our relationship, I can do just that.
I'm not going to miss his first steps or words, or his first smile, his first clap.
I am going to be there for him ALL of the time, I'm going to be his number one!


So ladies..... anything you would like to contribute to the list of positives?
I think it might be nice for the 'newly' single parents to read so they know it does get better and you do eventually 'get over it' and one day stop wasting energy on being bitter at your FOB


xxx

 

[Perdita]

My opinion being the only one that matters and no arguments over names, nappies, breastfeeding, bed times etc etc etc!

 

[staycutee]

i agree with the above, not having to compromise and getting to do things our way without interference!x

 

[babybaillie]

Sounds good. but the missing out part isnt true. i missed my daughter seeing santa for d 1st time last year as her dad took her. Ive missed her 1st wedding shes ever been too, missed a birthday party she had. and loads more..... i missed 2 weeks of her life when she went on holiday this year. then theres xmas, and all d times she spend with him. i must say i dont think i like anything about being a single parent apart from the fact i choose wether to work or not. but then i miss the money if i fancy a day out this weekend i cant do it cause we are always so skint

 

[purpledahlia]

Im looking forward to it actually. I dont think i need a man to be a good mum. I get to make all the decisions and be in control

 

[edinsam]

here here Purple

I can say people don't chose to be single but once you embrace it and welcome it you realise that no one is ever gonna put you in that position again. You create a new life for you and bubs and thats an amazing new life and bond that no one can ever take away from you again. People will come and go, you and your bond with the child never will.

Take on the challenge and love the independance and freedom it gives you

If someone special comes along then brilliant, if not then you have all the specialness you need in your child and you

 

[precious-gift]

I love that i can cherish all the special moments with my LO, and knowing that i am bringing him up myself makes me feel proud. Although im finding things really hard, my LO makes it all worth it, especially when i see him smile, makes my heart melt

I need to start embracing the single life, got few nights lined up so hoping that will help x

 

[tinkabells]

Yep same with everyone,
Can do it all your way!!!
And dont have to share your cuddles with baba, there all yours xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

I did a similar thread a while back. I like the fact that it's ME she comes to when she hurts herself or she isn't feeling well. I like that I get all the night time cuddles to myself. I like that I have been there for every single "first" she has had. Word, tooth, step...

It baffles me why men don't want to have all of that too but who cares as long as we have, right?

 

[tinkabells]

Cos there pricks and they can only thingk with there pricks, plain and simple!!! bunch of losers, there losing out in the end!!!xxx

 

[babybaillie]

Im looking forward to it actually. I dont think i need a man to be a good mum. I get to make all the decisions and be in control

no one said u NEED a man to be a good mum. I think sumtimes on here u forget the most IMPORTANT person in all this is the child. Not us.Not the dad. And when u have a child come to u in 14 years or whenever asking to see there dad. See if u still feel the same as u do now. You see ive been where u are just now. I can do it, dont need a man, child doesnt need a dad. But no matter how good a job u do, children do need 2 parents. which i suppose is why god decided it takes 2 to make a child.

 

[purpledahlia]

okay u dont need to lecture me, its my opinion. I know a few kids who have grown up without dads and are the nicest people, Sometimes we cant help it if they dont have a dad or the 2nd parent, its just life. Im sure we will all go on to meet new men who will be great father figures if the real dads arent interested.

 

[tinkabells]

Im looking forward to it actually. I dont think i need a man to be a good mum. I get to make all the decisions and be in control

no one said u NEED a man to be a good mum. I think sumtimes on here u forget the most IMPORTANT person in all this is the child. Not us.Not the dad. And when u have a child come to u in 14 years or whenever asking to see there dad. See if u still feel the same as u do now. You see ive been where u are just now. I can do it, dont need a man, child doesnt need a dad. But no matter how good a job u do, children do need 2 parents. which i suppose is why god decided it takes 2 to make a child.

I dont wanna come across as being rude but...

If god intended for everyone to make a child with both parents being involved then none of us would be in this situation, we would all kind of prefer the dads to be in the babies lives but it doesnt always work out that way, I grew up without a dad and it didnt bother me, i sometimes see people who have grown up with both parents and have issues, but i think it all comes down to everyone how they bring up there children, but you dont need both parents for the child
But i dont mind being a single mum, like we all said, we dont have to share them we get all the 1st's again we get the bads as well but that gets outweighed by everything else, when they come to us for everything

 

[memysonand3]

hmm what i think is good about being a single mom is you get to see and make sure that the man you chose to have in your life is good enough for your child and isnt there just because he got you pregnant oi and i love that it makes you stronger in the end to be a single parent

 

[Ash_P]

What i love about thinking about being a single mummy is that I know that everytime my child succeeds in something, Its because of me. School report, exam results, etc etc.
Unfortunately, god did make it so that 2 people were needed to make a child, Pity he didnt make it that men had the decency to stick by their children and provide in the way they should.
But i tell myself, the reason that it happens to some of us women, is to give us the strength and courage to know that we dont need men, that we are perfectly good people, and that regardless of our relationship status, we will all be fantastic mothers, who our children will adore.
When they come home from school and say "mummy i got a star today for my homework" thats gonna give us the most amazing buzz that no man could ever replace.

We mite have lost men against our wishes, had our hearts broken and been let down by the weirdo`s but we are all gaining the most important thing ever!

I know that in time, once i meet my baby, I will thank that freak i was married to, Cause he made 50% of that wee munchkin growing in me. But Im gonna be the one who developes it in the future.

THUMBS UP FOR SINGLE MUMS!! WE ROCK!!

 

[tinkabells]

awww thats lovely ash_p, nearly brought a tear to my eye xxx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Im looking forward to it actually. I dont think i need a man to be a good mum. I get to make all the decisions and be in control

no one said u NEED a man to be a good mum. I think sumtimes on here u forget the most IMPORTANT person in all this is the child. Not us.Not the dad. And when u have a child come to u in 14 years or whenever asking to see there dad. See if u still feel the same as u do now. You see ive been where u are just now. I can do it, dont need a man, child doesnt need a dad. But no matter how good a job u do, children do need 2 parents. which i suppose is why god decided it takes 2 to make a child.

Just have to add that no situation is ideal. A lot of children grow up having no or little contact with their dads and they turn out fine. And it's the dad's who bugger off in the first place so it's their own fault. It takes two people to make a child of course but it certainly doesn't take two to raise one x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

It doesnt take 2 to raise a child.Single mum or single dad can do as good as and sometimes better job than a child living with both parents.

I swear that by being a single mummy I have the best bond with my children ever, and of course I am not denying other people do not lol I just feel more proud because I raised them single handedly. It just makes me feel proud that I gave my everything and it was well worth it.

My children have never missed out, I make all the choices and get all the love....I cant think of anything better lol. x Go single parents

 

[purpledahlia]

cant wait, yeah you have to do everything yourself like night feeds and housework but like you say, you get all the love and all the 'firsts' and all the cuddles in return!

 

[staycutee]

i agree, i'd rather do it on my own than have him have any input after how hes acted.

i dont think a child NEEDS both parents - if one of those parents is a drug dealing immature lowlife.. who would need that?

like purpledahlia said im sure lots of us will meet men in the future who will be good parents to our LOs with us, but until then we will all be fine im sure