Possibility of multipule disabilities

[tinymumma]

I apologise if I shouldn't be posting here but I thought this would be the best place to express my thoughts.
My brother has multiple disabilities including: leber's congenital amurosis, autism, nervous system disabilities, ADHD, as well as a few others I don't know the names of. I carry these genes and with every pregnancy, I have a 1/4 chance of passing these genes to my child in varying degrees.
I gave birth to my first child almost two weeks ago and as time goes on, I think about this more and more. Of course OH and I will love our DS, no matter the outcome, however we still worry. It's far too early to see any signs as he's still so young, there are just characteristics that have my OH and I concerned. I have dark hair and eyes, OH has basically every colour (mainly blues and greens) and light brown hair. Our son has redish hair and blue eyes, just like my brother. Most of my family are saying he's also the spitting image of my brother at that age, even though all I can see is his father.
His head and neck control is quite impressive. He can't hold his head up completely by himself yet but can do this for a minute or so and can turn his head from side to side during tummy time. I also saw him push up for a few seconds during tummy time the other day.
He has started to try and focus his eyes as well but I do notice his right pupil is always slightly more dilated than the left.
My mother was observing him the other day and said that the outlook seems quite positive but I'm not too sure. We cannot begin testing for the possible conditions until he's 4 months old. I was offered to see a genetic councillor during pregnancy. The GP whom asked told me they would weigh up the pros and cons with me and see whether I was willing to undergo invasive testing during pregnancy and whether I would be open to late termination based on the results. Of course, I refused and decided on pediatrician follow ups after he was born.
I've had to watch my brother deal with criticisms and hardships in his life because of the precious man he is and I'm terrified my son will have to endure the same.
If you've read this far, thank you I know there is really nothing to do but wait at this point but I have so many emotions and fears for my little miracle (it took just over three years before I fell pregnant with him after three other losses). He is perfect no matter what and in my eyes, he's the best gift I could have been given. I'm just so worried

 

[mummy2o]

I wouldn't worry just yet. Newborns take a while to adjust to the outside world. Besides you knew the risks before you got pregnant and just because he looks like your brother, doesn't mean he will have the same mentally. My son for example is a spitting image of his dad, but has the personality of my dad.

I won't say it is easy not to compare as I'm always comparing DD to how DS was as a baby to see if their are any signs to if she's autistic or not, but I've also have come to peace with what will be, will be and I'm not going to love her any less if she has problems. I'm sure you love your brother loads and know how hard it is to raise an additional needs child, however like all conditions there are various degrees. So it probably isn't as bad as it appears. Just relax and enjoy parenthood for now. When he gets a bit older and you notice his peers doing xyz and he's behind then you can worry.

 

[Linny]

I'm sorry this whole situation is spoiling your early weeks but there is little point in worrying about something that you can not change. Try to focus on the odds of 3/4 chance of your baby being perfectly healthy.

I know it's always gonna be in the back of your mind but try to enjoy your baby just now, you won't get this time back and chances are he is just fine.

Good luck with it all

 

[tinymumma]