Possibly suffering post-natal depression?

[SarandrewBean]

Hi ladies,

I had my beautiful daughter 3 and a half months ago now via c-section, before I had her, I was told that if you suffered from depression before pregnancy then you probably would suffer with it after the baby was born.

Even though this had been drilled in to my head, I wondered how could I possibly be depressed once she's been born as this was my first successful pregnancy with two others ending in miscarriage, I can't even explain how much I wanted to be a mother, how much I loved her before she was even here and for the first month I felt nothing but happiness, I was on cloud 9 and though clearly I don't have post-natal depression.

Looking back on the past 2 months, my feelings have been really mucked up, my moods have changed from being happy one minute to crying the next and even angry the minute after. I have started feeling anger and hate towards my other halfs family, mostly his mum, as every time I see her she makes me feel completely crap, always telling me what to do and how she thinks she knows best for my daughter, pretty much interfering and sticking her nose in all the time, for example a couple of weeks ago I found some messages on a dating site of my other halfs, it was dated roughly 7 months in to our relationship, he had been having cyber sex with this girl, I realize that it was only 7 months in to our relationship, but I still felt hurt, by this point we were more serious than a normal relationship, we were practically living together and planning a baby, I felt so betrayed and like our relationship was a shambles, his mum kept sticking her nose in trying to make the entire situation about her, this has only added to the list of things that have made me dislike her.

The past 2 weeks my daughter would be crying and crying, she has reflux but very severe and we're still trying to find the right medication for her as she still vomits, is grizzly, screams in agony most days, I find myself there sitting there, listening to her scream, trying to comfort her but nothing I do helps her, I feel hopeless, how crap of a mother am I that I'm not even able to comfort my own child? other times I've looked at her and she will be crying and I'll be crying with her, because there's nothing I can do.

Most days I feel crap, I want to curl in to a ball and not talk or see anyone and just cry and cry in maybe the hope that if I cry enough this horrible feeling will just go away.

I suppose I'm writing this because I need to vent, I have no one to talk to and not sure what to do next, I've read online that they advise seeking help, but I'm so scared that if I tell someone this, they will take her away from me

 

[Krissykat1006]

No one will take your baby away for you have post natal depression. I had it, seeked help, was put on an antidepressant, and got to feeling like myself again. Getting help is the best thing you can do not only for your baby but for you.

My LO is 4 weeks old with reflux and I can relate to the watching her scream in pain and nothing you do comforts them. It is very hard to watch and it made me feel like a failure too, but after a couple of days of me and her crying together I began to quit thinking like that and told myself I'm doing everything I can for her right now, if its not working its not because I'm failing her, its just because we haven't figured out what is going to work best. We elevated her bed on one end a little, was prescribed zantac and its slowly getting better. Reflux isn't one of those things that will miraculously cure. My OH has severe reflux (they say its hereditary) so we think that's why she has it. She was also a silent refluxer so it took 3 weeks just to realize that's what it was (hours spent online researching /sigh). So don't beat yourself up over it...just hold her and love on her She's your rainbow!

You'll get through this, stay strong and don't beat yourself up over things. The first 6 months are rough!