Prank Gone Wrong

[hello_kitty]

Dh and I agreed that we would wait until Feb of next year to ttc again. My sister and I were hanging out the other day and just being silly. She downloaded a sonogram maker app and we played around with it. She pointed the phone to my belly and it showed a real picture of an ultra sound (fake of course, it just looked real).

I dont know what she was thinking but she texted my husband the pic and said "look your wife is preggers again!" So he texted me, a very long text (almost like a letter), about the pregnancy and why I kept it from him. He said he wasnt mad but its so unexpected and he feels excited and surprised at the same time. This would mean that we would have to delay our plans of visiting his parents (they live overseas and havent seen him for over 3 years) but its ok, because we'll go when the baby turns 1. He talked about upgrading to a bigger car. I could sense his excitement for this "unexpected" baby. I didnt know how to respond to his text thinking he's a father again...so I kept quiet . I know, I could've easily brushed it off and said "sorry my sis was being stupid and pranked you" and laugh about it, but he's looking into cars now. If I told him, our plans would resume. We'd still travel next year and get try in Feb, but suddenly I want another baby because of all the excitement coming from him, like there really be a baby.

Would it be selfish of me to knowingly get pregnant since my sister's silly prank revealed that he actually wouldnt mind being a father again and willing to hold off on our plans? The biggest reason that we are waiting is so that we could visit in laws next year, and after that we are free to have another kid, even two. I just dont want to burst his bubble because he really thinks I am pregnant and already has his head wrapped around the idea.

 

[Tanikins]

I've no idea how that would even work. For one he must assume your already atleast 12 weeks. And 2 it may take ages for you to conceive. Is your hubby really so clueless on pregnancy


That's before I start on the deceipt

 

[LoraLoo]

Sorry but I think it's a disgusting you haven't come out and told him the truth. You said 'the other day' so you've been letting him believe you're pregnsnt for several days now.
I understand it was a joke to begin with- not even a funny one either- but when peoples emotions and feelings come into play you need to put them straight as soon as possible.
He's going to realise sooner or later.

 

[hello_kitty]

I've no idea how that would even work. For one he must assume your already atleast 12 weeks. And 2 it may take ages for you to conceive. Is your hubby really so clueless on pregnancy


That's before I start on the deceipt

He just assumed that I got pregnant at some point and hid it from him and went to prenatal appointments alone. I dont plan on playing along with this, I mean theres obviously no baby. I'm just going to say that its all a prank and everything will go on to the way it was.

My question is, when life goes back to normal would it be horrible of me to try and get pregnant and ruin our plans. He is ready for another baby, its just he wants to visit his family first.

 

[LoraLoo]

So, you decieved him once, and you're wanting to know if we think it's ok to decieve him again? No. No, it isn't ok.

 

[hello_kitty]

First off, it wasnt me who pulled the prank. I was just playing around with my sis and she thought it was a wise idea to do that...AFTER she went home. I called and bitched at her for doing something like that behind my back and creating a mess. She apologized and said she would call him. She hasnt yet but when she does he'll know. Its been 2 days...I'm going to text him in a bit but she should be apologizing first since she started it.

 

[hello_kitty]

If I clear up this mess, and we go back to our normal routine and dtd and end up with a baby how is it deceiving? Although we prefer to wait but we're not using any precautionary measures. He uses pull out method. We've had a few scares but during those times he said he wouldnt mind if a baby is the outcome.

I just dont know if its selfish of me to persuade him otherwise instead ofvwaiting 9 months.

 

[Tanikins]

See that's not how your 1st post read. If your using no protection bar the pullout I dunno how you'd do it without his approval. Obvs he has all the control

If your ready and he's ready I feel it's time for a chat. Is there a reason for the waiting?

 

[hello_kitty]

See that's not how your 1st post read. If your using no protection bar the pullout I dunno how you'd do it without his approval. Obvs he has all the control

If your ready and he's ready I feel it's time for a chat. Is there a reason for the waiting?

I feel like we've got 1 foot in and 1 foot out. We really want the baby and the only thing keeping us from full on ttc is because dh wants to visit in laws next year and we cant do that with me being heavily preggo or a newborn. We left it up to fate a few times by not pulling out but nothing so we just continue with our plan to wait. Its over 30 hrs of flying with an 8 hour layover, not to mention 2 small kids. So we preferred to get that out of the way first.

I find myself feeling like 9 months is 9 yrs. If I really ask him, he'd give in but I just dont know if thats selfish.

 

[tverb84]

I'd tell him before it's too late.

 

[MyFavSurprise]

Hey, I get where you're coming from... When you want to have a baby it feels like forever to wait. We have a 4 month old and my crazy baby fever kicked in right again and I am so hoping for a "mistake" though I know I'd rather wait and try together. My husband wants to wait until our 4 month old is walking and eating solids and I know that makes the most sense, but if I told him I want to do it now he would give in and start trying with me..

I just know that deep down, aside from the crazy baby fever brewing inside of me, I'd rather wait to try until he's 100% thrilled along with me.

I just wanted to tell you that I know how you're feeling and give some personal insight

 

[babyjan]

I couldn't do that to my husband. You need to let him know the truth ASAP

 

[JemmaLouise]

I agree with LoraLoo... I think that's disgusting. If that were my OH I'd have told him immediately that it was an insensitive joke by my sister.

Now you've allowed him to become emotionally invested in something that is not there and you've made it worse by not telling him the truth. I'd imagine he'd be devastated given your portrayal of his excitement.

And whilst your not actively trying if you then attempt to get pregnant under the ongoing pull out method with the knowledge that he wants to wait to visit his parents then that is also just as deceptive and what I assume LoraLoo was also talking about.

Blaming your sister and waiting for her to put it right is the absolute wrong thing to do. You are just as responsible for the mess and I couldn't do that to someone I supposedly loved. Shame on you.

 

[BunnyN]

You are married to him, not your sister. She may have started it but she is not responsible for you having open honest comunication with your husband. If I was your husband I would brush off what your sister did as silly but would be deeply hurt if you didnt make a point of sorting it out yourself. I'd say sort out the misunderstanding as soon as possible (if you didnt already) and then try having an honest conversation about TTC. If you both want to try now then its not you being selfish.

 

[staralfur]

It is absolutely not up to your sister to fix it. You should have told him IMMEDIATELY that it was a joke. I honestly have no idea why you're just sitting on it, that is absurd.

To be honest it doesn't sound like you respect your husband an awful lot, I can't imagine letting my husband get excited and serious about something I knew wasn't real. That's just awful. And then on top of that you want to essentially trick him into a real pregnancy. Your poor, poor husband. Seriously.

He's probably letting go of the desire to see his parents a bit because he no longer thinks it's a feasible option. He has every right to want to wait under the actual circumstances. So yes, it is UNBELIEVABLY selfish for you to ignore his wishes and take away his choice in the matter.

Tell him the truth. Apologize. Re-evaluate your thought process and the way you treat your husband. And most importantly, wait the 9 months because it sounds like you could use the time to do some maturing.

 

[babyjan]

Yep it's not up to your sister to sort it! His your partner and its your responsibility to tell him the truth.

I personally don't get why people do pregnancy pranks anyways

 

[MindUtopia]

As others have said, you definitely need to be honest with him as soon as possible. I would have explained it was a joke right away (actually, I wouldn't have even let my sister do something like that to begin with!). And then once you've done that and he gets over the shock and hurt, I think you two can have a serious conversation about what you both want and how to time things so they work out for the best. I do understand where he's coming from in terms of wanting to see family and I think travel is a good reason to postpone things (or move your travel forward). My family also lives overseas and I haven't been there to see them since I was pregnant with my daughter almost 4 years ago. We are WTT now because I need to travel for work next spring and can't be so pregnant that it's not safe for me to fly long haul and be away for several weeks. So I definitely get that. It's a trade off and you have to balance the things you want to do with how you want to plan your family. But if he's genuinely happy (I mean, what else would he be? Of course, he would be happy, even if it's inconvenient), then once you talk him, you can open up a conversation about when you might consider having another and see how you can fit your travel plans around that.

 

[shadowlove]

You need to be open with your husband about it and maybe now that he is excited he would agree that you do try for a baby now. Keeping this quiet might ruin your marriage hun.

 

[hello_kitty]

You need to be open with your husband about it and maybe now that he is excited he would agree that you do try for a baby now. Keeping this quiet might ruin your marriage hun.

I came out and told him awhile back and he laughed and said "guess what? Jokes on you because i knew youre not pregnant. Things just dont add up. I was just playing along."

Long story short, he doesnt want to try now =(

 

[shadowlove]

I am sorry he doesn't want try to now. I am in the same boat and it hurts a bit. Especially when our bodies are literally craving to carry a baby, but we are not the only having a say. Big hugs.