prefer to date a guy who already has kids or not?

[Dream.dream]

I was going to say exactly what Dezireey wrote. My main concern about getting involved with a man with kids is that the new man who could potentially become the main father figure in my daughter's life would always (understandably) put his own children before her, and I don't think that would be fair to her. She's still very young, and if she's going to grow up in a 2 parent household, I want both of those parents to love her as she deserves. Otherwise there's really no point in me getting married.

A man without kids (who is able to accept the fact that I have one and she comes first) has more potential to love LO as his own and she would also eventually come first in his eyes. So for those reasons, selfishly, I prefer a man with no kids. But I wouldn't rule out a guy with kids if he were amazing and we were highly compatible.

I disagree with this part . Even if a guy doesn't have his own right now are you saying in the future if you have another together he will love that one more?


I was raised by my stepdad and I can tell you I never felt like I was loved or cared for any less then his biological kids .

 

[Kate&Lucas]

I'd prefer a guy who doesn't, personally. There are a ton of reasons but ultimately I can't help myself comparing every single father to FOB. My mind runs wild with questions of why they split up, what role he plays in his child's life and why, etc etc. It's stupid and I should be able to get past it, but I can't.

 

[daneuse27]

I was going to say exactly what Dezireey wrote. My main concern about getting involved with a man with kids is that the new man who could potentially become the main father figure in my daughter's life would always (understandably) put his own children before her, and I don't think that would be fair to her. She's still very young, and if she's going to grow up in a 2 parent household, I want both of those parents to love her as she deserves. Otherwise there's really no point in me getting married.

A man without kids (who is able to accept the fact that I have one and she comes first) has more potential to love LO as his own and she would also eventually come first in his eyes. So for those reasons, selfishly, I prefer a man with no kids. But I wouldn't rule out a guy with kids if he were amazing and we were highly compatible.

I disagree with this part . Even if a guy doesn't have his own right now are you saying in the future if you have another together he will love that one more?


I was raised by my stepdad and I can tell you I never felt like I was loved or cared for any less then his biological kids .

Oh sorry, I didn't mean to let on that I believe ALL stepdads are that way. I was just expressing fear, and worry that perhaps if I married a man with children (as opposed to him and I having another one together) he wouldn't ever come to love my child as he loves his own. That was all I meant. I know there are a lot of amazing stepdads out there.

 

[Natsku]

I'd prefer a guy without kids although I wouldn't rule it out entirely. But I think I have the best of both worlds - my OH has no kids but is very used to them (lots of younger brothers and sister who is 4 years old) so has been fantastic with Maria right from the start and loves her like she was his own.

 

[fairydust87]

Defo no kids. It would all be too complicated plus it would be nice to have his first child