Preg after sudi

[leannejkl]

hi everyone, i found out at the weekend i am pregnant, i am only about 5 weeks, but i cant relax, my Son died of sudi in sept 09 and i am so worried something will go wrong, i am also on meds due to nightmares ect and the dr does not seem to worried but i am, i dont think diazapam is good?? i just dont know how to relax, even if the pregnancy goes well its after i will still worry. sorry to vent, everyone seems to think i should just be happy, but not understand my fears.

 

[hb1]

I know you are on meds but are they helping you with counselling? - are there support groups with other parents that you can speak to - what you're feeling is totally natural - there must be some support for you - I would ask your doctor for contacts in your area.

So sorry for your loss and that you are feeling so bad

hx

 

[Lucia]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you're feeling but if you have concerns, you should talk to your doctor. Perhaps talking to someone about your nightmares and anxiety might help too. This should be a happy time for you and you should be able to enjoy it.

 

[mislaww]

Firstly, congrats! I know the fears get in the way of it feeling like something to celebrate - but it's great news!

Secondly, I'm so sorry to hear of your little son. I can't imagine.

Thirdly, you're in the right place. We're a ball of nerves over here - we understand. When I got my bfp, I thought - oh no, I can't handle the stress of another mc! I haven't experience what you have, but I do hope it gets better. Passing on some good advice from the other ladies here - take it a day at a time.

 

[leannejkl]

i want to be excited so much, he was so healthy and fine, but at 4 months old he just went, i want to be pregnant but the worry is driving me mad, oh i dont know thanks for your advice xx

 

[hb1]

My friend suffers from anxiety - for different reasons - but she has cognative therapy as well as couselling to help her deal with it - it's more a case of developing coping strategys for her - there are ways they can work with you to help you deal with the way you are feeling.

hx

 

[Beanbabe]

Congrats hun.

Im so sorry about your son.

Initally when you find out you are pregnant it can be very very stressful. When I got my bfp I cried with fear. Its a totally normal reaction after a loss. That initial all consuming fear does subside and although you will feel anxious throughout its doesnt be as bad as this the whole way through. I realise that you have anxiety problems but Im hoping that you will get lots of support from your caregivers.

Like the other girls say take one day at a time and post here as often as you want. Maybe join the summer babies thread where you will be able to make friends with girls who are due around the same time as you.

Good luck.

 

[nicola1987]

hi im sorry for your loss and no how u fell im going through the same thing. i lost my son new years eve 2009 he was only 29days old and now im 20weeks pregnant and sceard out off my mind.
i hope u no u r not the only one that is scared x n x

 

[leannejkl]

Hi Nicola, i am sorry about your son, was he sids/sudi as well? was he fine and it was unexpected? what did your dr do when you told them you was pregnant, i have not told mine yet, i am only early so waiting to see if everything goes ok first...

i had a daughter Lucy in 04 she was born at 22+3 days and lived for 3 hours
i have a Daughter Honey born in 05 at 24 weeks she is now 5 she has cereble palsy and a feeding tube cos she cant eat but is ok.
Alfie was born in 09 at 27 weeks, i had a stitch with him, and ended up having a emergancy c cection cos of infection, but when he come home after 8 weeks he was fine, the 4 weeks he was at home he just did so well so it was completly un expected, i dont wanna go to midwifes yet as i know they are gonna start hassling me, stitch/scans so on and i dont wanna get excited... i just feel with this pregnancy i have to get past the 12 week stage then 22. 24. 27, and then when the baby is born i still wont be able to relax. i am worried i wont be able to look after the baby with Alfie i woke up in the morning and he had already died, i had to try to resus himm even tho he was clearly gone so i feel with this baby how an earth can i sleep at night. i will be too scared to wake up in case what i find..

sorry to go on, i just dont know where else to place my fears xx

 

[nicola1987]

i lost my son to sids but he did not go in his sleep he went blue then just went got him back by doing mouth to mouth but just went the a and e work on him for over a hour and they said his hart would not start back up again so they had to let him go.
i can under stand where u r coming from but do not stress your self out u can do more harm. how fair gone r u.i would say go dr and get all the support u need i no it will be hard with all the scans but it might help your mind seeing that your baby is ok. they always say every pregnancy is different.
x x tc x x

 

[Vickieh1981]

I am so sorry for your loss. Pregnancy after a loss is awful and I guess even more so when you know it's going to be hard after delivery.

Nothing I can say to help but will send you hugs