Pregnancy after missed miscarriage.

[sailorsgirl]

Hi there, so my question is, for those who are pregnant after having had a previous missed miscarriage, how do you make it through your first 12 weeks?

I have had a miscarriage followed by a missed miscarriage and so up until 7 weeks I was worried about miscarrying as I lost my first at 6 weeks, but after a brief feeling of relaxation, I quickly found myself worrying that my baby has already died but my body just has realised yet. It took 5 weeks last time, I still felt pregnant, I still had symptoms. So my symptoms aren't really giving me any relief.

So does anyone have any tips?

Xxx

 

[kdmalk]

That was my worst fear--that my baby had died and I had no idea again. I finally broke down about a week ago and ordered a Doppler. I am not using it more often than every few days, but finding peanut's heartbeat continues to reassure me that he/she is still growing. Honestly, I would probably be a nervous wreck without it. But I guess I managed to survive until 10w+ without it, so I bet you can do it too if you put your mind to it. And the girls on BnB will always be here for you!!!

 

[Stacey_89]

Sorry for your loss
I am 24 weeks pregnant after two last year which was a chemical,got pregnant immediately again but ended up being a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks.
Everyone handles grieve and new pregnancies in their own way but what helped me was not to think too far ahead! Dont think about all the what ifs. Try to stay in the present day or it will send your brain into a crazy overdrive!
I also requested hcg tests of my doctor and they kept me very positive as my numbers were great which indicated a very healthy pregnancy.
Just take each day as it comes,remain calm and think positive iv known so many women to have a baby after 2 losses,and its more commin then we think!
You will be fine

 

[sk1ttle]

I'm 5 weeks pregnant after a missed miscarriage. We found out at 11 weeks but it took another 2 weeks to get the d&c done. Iv known for a week. Im putting off my doctors appoint til 6 weeks when it feels more real. Iv talked to my husband about it too. That helps. Iv also told my family and my boss because even though its so eArly i know if things go wrong ill want there support. Im taking an annual leave day next week just to relax. So thats how im dealing. All the best.

 

[KylasBaby]

I had a Doppler I used daily after 9 weeks. I switched to an OB who does the first appointment/ultrasound at 8 weeks rather than 10/12. Didn't tell my parents and grandparents until 8 weeks and no one else until about 16. It was rough - it still is. I used to think as long as there's no bleeding baby us fine but learned the hard way that's not the case.

 

[Pielette]

In all honesty I have found it very difficult and I don't know that there's much you can do to make it easier. I am terrified of it happening again. I wondered about getting a private scan because the 12 weeks were so long, but I then thought if it shows me baby is fine I'll be back to worrying a couple of days later. I also thought about getting a doppler but then realised I would panic if I couldn't find the heartbeat one day, even though baby is still so small and can move around.

I am now at the stage where my belly is growing, which helps massively, although I still worry. I have a 16 week check up tomorrow and the midwife said we'll see if we can hear the heartbeat. My immediate thought was what if there's no heartbeat...

I think the only thing that got me through was talking online and talking to my husband and my mum. My mum was great at pointing out all sorts of differences with this pregnancy and my angel. My husband was just as terrified as me and oddly that helped! Because when one of us would try to reassure the other it would actually lift both of us a little. And in public with other people nobody knew, which also helped. Because I could distract myself by talking about other stuff going on in my and their lives.

It's rough and I really do sympathise.

 

[sailorsgirl]

Thanks so much everyone. Such a huge help.

I'm trying very hard to stay calm and distract myself. This week I have friend visiting who has quite a lot of fertility problems herself, and so whilst she's happy for me, she doesn't want to talk about my pregnancy so in a way not be able to talk about it is definitely distracting me.

Thanks so much everyone.

Xx

 

[AnnieMac2]

I am so sorry for everyone's losses. But it's a relief to read this thread. Even if no one feels they have solutions, it's just nice to hear people talk who know how I feel. I just got a bfp this week. Can't even bring myself to change it from ttc to pregnant by my name. Petrified.

Wishing you all some calm and healthy pregnancies.

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

So sorry for your losses...all of you

I am currently 29+2 after a MMC last October. We found out at 10+3 that baby had died close to 6 weeks, then it took almost a week to get the D&C, which was 10/31. Christmas morning we found out I was pregnant again, and it was honestly about 30 seconds of overwhelming joy followed by weeks of panic and anxiety. Like with you, sailorsgirl, I had all my symptoms with the MMC- even went to my first OB appointment with a plastic bag in hand I was so nauseated- little did I know baby had died weeks earlier. So my symptoms were of no help to me.

At 8+5 with this pregnancy, I hemorrhaged in my bathroom and thought that was the end- only to discover I had been pregnant with twins. Somehow even knowing that there was still an alive baby in there didn't help, and I spent 5 weeks on bedrest waiting to lose that alive baby also. At 9 weeks, I was able to find a heartbeat with the doppler, and then proceeded to use it 3-4 times a day. I was a little obsessed, and every single time would take a short video on my phone in case it was the last time I heard it. I know that sounds a little morbid, but after never having heard the heartbeat with our MMC, I felt compelled to have some "proof" that this baby lived.

Around 12 weeks and several follow-up ultrasounds later, I began to be able to breathe a little, and finally around 16 weeks I felt comfortable enough to tell people I was pregnant (plus I was starting to look a little plump, lol)

I will be honest- I didn't really actually truly begin to relax for real until viability, not even after he started moving regularly. Now that I'm in my third trimester I'm starting to breathe a bit easier and it seems like pregnancy has somehow passed in the blink of an eye- I guess time flies when you're obsessively anxious about it, right?? I admit to having occasional thoughts of "I wish I could just have him out now, early would still be better than having the risk of my own body accidentally hurting him" but I KNOW that logically that's not true and the best place for him is right where he is for a couple more months.

So to actually answer your question, I think that the thing that was most helpful for me really was just knowing I wasn't alone- other womens' stories of pregnancy after MMC helped a lot, and talking to my best friend (who went on to have two beautiful healthy babies after MMC). Interestingly, my husband and I basically didn't even acknowledge the pregnancy to eachother until nearly the second trimester!

 

[sailorsgirl]

Wow thanks so much for sharing your story. I sorry for your losses but over the moon that you are now in your third tri and starting to relax. Honestly thank you for your honesty.

I have booked a scan, I am just so desperate to see a heart beat. And so we should hopefully get a little piece of mind on Tuesday evening when I should be 8 weeks and 1 day. Fingers crossed we see our little squiggle.

Xxx