Pregnancy with Bipolar

[21yrsurvivor]

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 almost a year ago at the age of 30. I started getting help to treat my bipolar around November but found out that the medication was not working, so I finally got placed on Lamictal and Buspar as my everyday medication. I also suffer from terrible anxiety and was place on 2 different medications to help treat the anxiety attacks as they came.

I became pregnant in June and right away my anxiety rescue meds could no longer be taken. I suffer everyday with anxiety. My mood has been all over the place and definitely not like my typical personality or mood. I have been very argumentive, negative, and have had the mouth of sailor lately. I feel very sorry for myself because I feel like I'm causing my family to go nuts with my sudden change in attitude. One minute I'll be content and the next I fly off the handle and get very short tempered (of course there's a long story behind my temper)

I suffer from "rapid cycling" which is when you have many manic to depressive episodes within a certain time. When I'm manic you don't care what others around you think and you go to the beat of your own drum. When I become depressed, your whole world feels like its collapsing around you and that you are to blame for everything.

I know that pregnancy brings sudden changes that effect your hormones, but does anyone on here suffer with bipolar and currently feel the same or have the same struggles?

 

[blessmefreya]

Hi 21!

I don't know if I'll be any help, but I just wanted to say hello and make sure you know someone's reading and thinking about you!

I was diagnosed Bipolar II in 2009, and have been on and off different meds for years for bipolar, depression, and anxiety. Although I haven't been taking meds consistently for the last couple years (only Ativan when needed for anxiety) so I'm not in the exact same boat you are at the moment.

Anyways... my opinion is that some psych meds are "worth the risk" during pregnancy. As in, the benefits outweigh the risks. If it means keeping your sanity, taking care of yourself and baby, functioning in relationships, etc... perhaps you could talk to your doc about a med that has the lowest risk possible? I have heard Lamotrigine (aka Lamictal) has a fairly low risk during pregnancy. Maybe it would be ok to take small doses of it after the first trimester (once the placenta is more self-sufficient.)

If you aren't comfortable with meds, maybe it would be a good time to have support from a therapist? Or maybe even reading some books would be helpful. (I've done a couple cognitive behavioral therapy "work books" that actually seemed to help with coping skills!)

Anyway, just my thoughts to share! I hope you find some relief, and have a healthy 9 months!!

 

[char051585]

I get where you're coming from. My aniexty has been out of control the last few days. I think from my hormones and off my meds just is destroying me. I constantly look things up on the Internet that could go wrong which has me nonstop worrying. I was a firm believer in not taking anything..but I've been doing some research and the risks of not taking it and not being mentally stable are higher than the effects of the medicine. If you want to talk you can always message me. I want to enjoy this pregnancy but I feel so overwhelmed with aniexty I can't. Wish you the best and know you're not alone.

 

[21yrsurvivor]

Thank you ladies for you kind reply. To be honest I was questioning me putting this topic out there. When I did I wasn't sure how others were going to take it, because it's not exactly venting.

Hearing from you two and another via private message makes me feel better that I'm not the only one that feels like this, especially with the anxiety. I see that it's different for all women and all women handle their stress/anxiety differently. I feel that I don't handle it well most days. Especially since I couldn't take my meds for 2-3 weeks because I couldn't keep them down because of the nausea and vomiting. I know it wasn't the best choice, but I could not take them and it brought my anxiety and depression way up. I am finally back on the meds because I can keep them down now.

I hope you girls are holding up good with your pregnancy, anything work you in particular? I try to stay away from sad stuff and watch comedy on TV and listen to easily and smooth music.

 

[blessmefreya]

Hi again!

I have had some bad anxiety days lately myself- mostly in the form of excessive worry and obsessing about "what ifs"! I've had a day or two where I felt borderline manic, and it worried me because I definitely don't want it to get out of control.

I'm trying to remind myself constantly that worrying doesn't change anything. Also reminding myself that the hormones are OUT of control right now- which has seemed to extremely affect my moods in the past. I'm trying to be patient with myself and focus on loving the baby.

Things that work for me personally are watching funny movies, listening to soothing music, aromatherapy, and spending time with my honey. (Only when I'm not feeling irritable or cranky... because then he just gets on my nerves and makes it worse. lol) I've been trying a new thing where I am upfront about what I need! I've always hated asking for help or when I need anything, but I've been vocal about my needs lately: Could you please rub my back? Could you please heat up my soup because I cannot even get off this couch right now? Could you please come sit with me because I'm feeling lonely? Can we talk about <insert worry>? .... etc

I dunno if any of that would work for you, but I say Try everything! Why not? Nothing to lose I'm glad you're able to keep your meds down! I hope they help bring you some relief

We may not be the majority, but we are definitely not alone!!

 

[arturia]

Personally, yes, I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and depression in the past. I am not bipolar, so no manic episodes. For anxiety, the only thing that ever -really- helped was a short bout on antidepressant medication, and learning to cope better. Since my usual method of dealing with anxiety is avoidance, I had to learn to face down those problems.

Probably the biggest turnaround for me was going back to school after dropping out. I was in the final year of a 2 year program and dropped out due to regular panic attacks and a severe bout of depression. My instructor in one of my classes managed to make me feel ashamed in front of the whole class so I couldn't bear to go in anymore, and I became suicidal for a week at the time. I dropped out shortly after, which probably preserved my grades. After that, it took the support of my dh (then boyfriend) to get me to try going back. Switched my focus, finished the schooling, had a great time (so much for fear and shame holding me back) and passed with flying colors. It was great! Then I got anxious again in my career, took the meds to stabilize me, gained 30 lbs so I went off, but managed to master enough coping skills that I don't typically have panic attacks anymore. (odd one here and there, but minimal)

For depression, I honestly have -no idea- why I don't suffer from this anymore. I found a component of mine was philosophical issues (nihilism, feeling nothing I do has meaning, life has no meaning, life is more pain than pleasure, is it ever worth it? I am not religious so I do not find comfort in the concept of God) and I'm not sure if I ever dealt with it more so than learned to accept it and find the brief pleasurable moments more pleasurable. That could be it. I read depression damages your brain so maybe I just healed at some point.

For dealing with anxiety, the only advice I can give you is to be forgiving. Don't beat yourself up for being anxious or decide that you are weak. Remember that you are sick and it's OK to have days you just can't handle. Do your best to minimize those days, tell yourself you can do it, do your best to put yourself out there, and it's OK if your self-talk fails and you hide under the blankets all day. Just remember to get back into the ring and try again the next day. When you have a panic attack, deep breaths. If you have to leave, do it, but try not to use the panic as an excuse not to face the situation next time. Studies show that learning to face your triggers (exposure therapy) can reduce the incidence of panic.

Notably there ARE some psychoactive drugs pregnant women can take. You should (if you haven't already) discuss with your care provider what options there are.

Good luck!