Hi Ladies, Im sorry in advance if this turns into a bit of an essay but at the moment i don't really have anyone to talk to. We have a beautiful little 5 year old girl who has started school this year and loving it In 2017 after trying for some time, we found out we were pregnant. Our world shattered at our 12 week scan when we found out that our beautiful baby had Anencephaly. We made the decision to terminate our pregnancy, a decision that i have found difficult to live with ever since. Even after people trying to tell me that it was the right decision, i hate myself every day. We found out after they ran the tests that they said we should run, that our beautiful angel was a little boy. We started trying again in 2018 and throughout 2018 went through 3 failed IUI's and 1 failed IVF. We decided to take some time off over Christmas and took our little girl on a holiday. My cycles are all over the place anyway so i didn't take any notice of no period from late november to february as its pretty normal for me. I was making my daughters lunch just over a week ago and had to run to the bathroom after opening the ham. The ham was not off i had only bought it the day before. I figured what the hell i grabbed a pregnancy test and ovulation figuring one should tell me whats going on.. The ovulation was a blazing positive but so was the pregnancy test... i rang our specialist and she said to come in for a blood test. She rang that afternoon and said that the Lab wanted to re-run my blood. The next day they asked me to come in for a scan as my HCG was 83,000.. Turns out i was 7 weeks 4 days pregnant. Ive cried, Ive laughed, Ive thrown up because morning sickness is kicking my ass all day... I have this feeling deep in my bones that there is going to be something wrong. Its a feeling i can't shake. I know they say that Anencephaly is just 'one of those things' that happen, but i cannot process that this isn't going to happen to us again. I have been continuously taking my prenatal plus extra folate which is what we were told to do after our son. Im sorry i just needed to get this out somehow. Im making myself sick with worry and i can't stop myself thinking the worst is going to happen..