Pregnant and dumped all in a month ..what do I do?

[sarahlou28xxx]

I had been seeing a man,he was into me,told me he seen a future etc.
He texted and called me daily,time we spent together was fun.
He was lazy and lives a hour away and could tell him driving was a pain for him.
Anyway he ghosted me,totally disappeared after 3 months together.
I text yesterday and asked what happened,he said it wasn't me,it was him that he had issues to deal with etc.
Anyway the last two days I felt sick and my periods are irregular
Took a test and I'm pregnant ..only had sex twice with him
What do I do?
Tell him or not?
I don't know if I want this baby or to tell him or what
I'm gutted

 

[wannanewbaby]

I think he has a right to know and you can see what he says and how he feels about it but you should decide how you feel about it also do you have family or friends you trust that you can talk to and get support from??

 

[UnderPressure]

I agree that you should tell him about the pregnancy. I would think about what you want to do and be able to tell him confidently what your plan for the pregnancy is. Fathers are parents too and we need to start treating them as such. It's your body and your choice what happens, but if you choose to keep the baby then he should have the rights and responsibilities of being that child's parent as well.

 

[crazylilth1ng]

I may be wrong but from how you have described him, it seems he liked you, started something and then it fizzled out for him, just one of those things. He was possibly talking to other girls too as it was early days and people generally talk to a few before settling on one person. It's cowardly to ghost you though,he should have been honest. I have had it happen to me and at the time it was very painful and confusing as it seemed to start off so well and then he just stopped bothering. Thankfully for me I wasn't pregnant at the end.

That being said, he does have a right to a chance at being a dad despite him treating you badly. Don't rush yourself though, you have time to come to a decision about what you do and say.

 

[TTCfirstovr30]

sarahlou - Congrats you are pregnant!

You have to put yourself first. You should decide how you feel about the pregnancy and what your decision is if you will keep it or not, if you involve the father or not and whatever you decide to do is the right decision because that is what you want. No one else can tell you what you can and cannot do. And there is no right or wrong here, it is your decision only.

Once you have decided what you are going to do, you can get him involved (or not). From the little you have described, however, I wouldn't get my hopes up that he is going to come around and be Mr. Wonderful because he doesn't sound like that type.

My girlfriend got pregnant on a one-night stand. She decided that she was going to keep the baby and did not want "Daddy" involved. She told the father and explained that she wanted sole custody and that she didn't want him to be involved. He happily agreed, signed the paperwork. She moved back in with her family so she could have help and they all live happily ever after.

There is no wrong or right here, it is what you decide and no one should persuade you otherwise. And do not base you decision on what this guy is going to say, because ultimately you will probably be disappointed.

 

[DobbyForever]

Agreed. The other thing with telling him versus not telling him, if you EVER plan to go for child support you need to tell him. If you cut him out then he can bring that up in court and it can get ugly. My SO and I broke up shortly after I became pregnant, and he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with our baby. But my stepdad is a family law attorney so I still send texts about important things (scans, naming) on his advice. I'd also be wary of letting him sign away his paternal rights. My stepfather has seen handfuls of kids grow up and find their dad signed his rights away, and, believe it or not, the kids blame the mom for it.

As for deciding what to do, do you have a gyn? Unfortunately, that isn't a discussion permitted on this board but if you need advice PM me. But your gyn can provide resources to help you decide and what to do after.

I have been scared myself. Granted, I was with my SO for two years and this was supposed to be planned. I've faltered and cried and had days where I wished things were different. But I love my baby. On the logical side: I am steadily employed, financially secure, a homeowner, finished with school (M.S.) degree, and have a supportive family. If you choose single motherhood, you will need your family and your finances in order to minimize the risk of adverse affects on your kid. Lean on us. We're really supportive here.

 

[wannanewbaby]

Beautifully said dobby!!