Pregnant and Having Tubes Tied

[MommaBarry]

I'm not really sure where to post this, but I was wondering if anyone is currently pregnant and having their tubes tied after baby?

About me

I am 32, full time mom and student.
I have a 10 year old son (previous marriage)
A 11 month old daughter
And due beginning of January with a boy.

My DH says he does not want anymore children after our son is born. I agree since they are so close in age and financially I would love to be able to spoil them like I did with my 10 year old (only child for so long).

I am due to finish school next fall so our son will be almost 1 when I graduate and start working.

I agree with this decision to an extent and am ready to not be pregnant and raise our family. Im ready to have a relationship with my husband that does not consist of everything baby (don't get us wrong we love our kids to death!!! but you all know how that first year is) But part of my heart hurts to think there will never be another TTC, or BFP, or tiny newborn in the house.

Many people have told me just to wait to have my tubes tied. But my third will be like my other deliveries and will be born my C-section. So they will tie my tubes right after he is born. This means no additional recovery, and will be convenient. Not to mention, my insurance will pay for it 100% if I do it then.

I have heard its normal to feel this way, and that once my son arrives that I might feel different. A sense of completion to our family that I don't feel yet because he is not here.

If you have made it this far thank you

Im not quite sure what response im looking for here but maybe someone out there knows how I feel.

 

[MommaBarry]

I also would like to add, that my doctor is really for it. He is definitely not trying to force me into any decision, but there are definite cons to repeat C-sections.

He said if I did decide to have another he would stand behind me 100% and keep a very close eye on me. But he sees that I am already having some complications with this pregnancy and for medical reasons he would advice this be my last but its 100% my decision.

 

[Eternal]

I'm planning on it. Still early in this pregnancy (7weeks ish) so not had chance to speak to doctor yet, but we are 100% convinced given the option that it's what we want.

I'm 29 (will be 30 when bubs is born) hubby 32
This is our 4th baby, previous section due to breach twins.

This baby wasn't planned, it's VERY much wanted and we are happy but the timing wasn't ideal.

I have a hearing problem which is made worse by hormones such as pregnancy and contraceptives.

Right now I'm 100% sure, 4 children is perfect and given my lack of alternative contraceptives then I think it's ideal for us. I can enjoy the pregnancy knowing it's my last and just get rid of everything that's outgrown.

We had talked of sterilisation before this pregnancy but it didn't sit right with us, we were not ready.

I think it helps that my MW was discursive of my ideas for VBAC so I just feel like, let's just have a section and get everything sorted at once.

I don't think I could have gone along with it if I wasn't 100% convinced! and if we get doubts we won't do it! both of us need on board! but 4 children, 4 and under, I think I'm I done. We LOVE the baby stage, desperately love it, both of us, but babies grown and cost a awful lot.

 

[MommaBarry]

Thank you for replying and sharing your story!! 4 under 4, you are super mom!!

I think that may be the problem is I don't feel 100%, and im looking at around 12 weeks to make this decision. DH has told me not to go through with it and that he would get the snip, but that doesn't really help the situation considering either way that means no more babies. And he is not insured at the moment as I am, so it would cost us full price for him, where I am 100% paid.

 

[Eternal]

Thank you for replying and sharing your story!! 4 under 4, you are super mom!!

I think that may be the problem is I don't feel 100%, and im looking at around 12 weeks to make this decision. DH has told me not to go through with it and that he would get the snip, but that doesn't really help the situation considering either way that means no more babies. And he is not insured at the moment as I am, so it would cost us full price for him, where I am 100% paid.

But if your not sure then he could get the snip anytime, you could wait to see how you feel in a month, 6, year. There are plenty of effective long term contraceptives as an excellent alternative, there is no need to do surgery, there are great alternatives, the coil, the implant etc. then give it time. I know the cost must be a huge factor in it, but given we are talking about taking away your ability to ever have babies again then you need to be sure.

To me it's now not scary the idea if never be able to have more, I didn't think if ever feel that, obviously if something happened with this pregnancy if probably not get sterilised and probably try again, but all being well I'm happy.

 

[Princess Lou]

My MIL had hers done in 2004 after having her sixth child and third C-Section. Her doctor wanted to do it in 2000 after fourth baby and first section and 2003 and baby five but she refused. She finally agreed in 2004 and hated the decision for about a month afterwards. Like you, she didn't like the idea of no more babies but then she realised that she did the right thing.

Personally I feel she should have done it previously but because her and her fella don't work, live on benefits and can't afford to give the children a decent life, yet they still manage to smoke 60 cigarettes a day between them (refuses to switch to rolling tobacco to save some money). Sorry, went of a little.

If you feel your life will be complete after your son is born and you want to give your children the best you can then maybe it is the right decision.

I wish you all the best and hope the final decision is fight for you.

 

[chulie]

I'm going to be 33 next year when I have my second. We have decided this baby is the final piece of our family puzzle. It's a hard decision for sure. Especially since everyone is warning me I'm going to regret it. But for my dh and I, we know financially and for so many other reasons it is absolutely the right call for us.

That being said. Of course I'm sad. It's weird to think I'm never going to be TTC again or anything like that. No more new babies, cuddles....just kids growing up. Hahaha. So it definitely makes me sad. But just because I feel sad it doesn't mean it's wrong at all!!!! The right things hurt sometimes and the life I want to give my kids gives me strength I need to know I am making the right choice.......

Good luck with whatever you decide....remember to focus on the good and I'm like you. I'm looking forward to being a wife at some point again hahahah. When the kiddies don't need me as much anymore and dh and I can just go for dinner and I can reconnect with my best friend again!

 

[vtjess423]

I feel the exact same way as you. I was thinking of getting my tubes tied as well when this baby is born as we don't plan on having any more children after this. I'm 33 now and will turn 34 a few months after my second son is born so my age is definitely a factor as well. Only in my case, I'm planning on having my son naturally so unless something goes wrong and I need a c-section, it will mean I'll have to be cut open separately from birth, which is one of my biggest worries. I don't know if I'd feel differently if I was already having a c-section. But aside from that, it makes me very sad to think that would never be able to have kids again if I ever chose to do so and I'm not 100% sure that's what I want. Hubby has talked of getting a vasectomy so that's always an option but again like you that would still be the end of us having kids. But as of right now, since I'm still not sure and I really don't want any type of surgery if I don't have to, I'm not planning on having it done. And as others have said, a vasectomy can be done at any time so after this baby is born and we have more time to be sure that's what we want, my hubby can get snipped. I wish you all the best with your decision and I'm sure you'll figure out what's right for you. If you are not 100% sure that's what you want, I'd say put the decision off until you know that it's right.

 

[MommaBarry]

Thank you ladies so much!!!

I think this is exactly the type of support I was looking for.

Chulie

" The right things hurt sometimes and the life I want to give my kids gives me strength I need to know I am making the right choice"

This actually brought a tear to my eye ( I'm so hormonal )

This is exactly it and I couldn't have said it better!! I know its the right thing for our family, but it does hurt. I need to find that strength to help carry me through!

 

[HHenderson]

I just turned 28 and had my daughter 2 months ago and got my tubes clamped. I also have an almost 9 year old daughter as well. I feel like Im for one too old to have another, would need a 4 bedroom house if I was to have a son and financially cannot afford another child honestly. I am a SAHM receiving no government assistance so times are tough sometimes!

 

[OnyxSnowfall]

I am considering getting the tubal litigation after I deliver my next baby too... but, like you, I am scurred I might regret it. I know it would be the most practical and convenient time to have it done but I don't really like the thought of "never" / attempting a reversal if I decide it was a horrid decision. Ah! I used to have a copper IUD but sadly it caused troubles within my sanctuary ... otherwise it was ideal. Meh!

Good luck with whatever you decide, it can be a tough decision!

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I had my tubes tied after my last baby and IMMEDIATELY regretted it. This kind of decision is NOT one to make DURING a pregnancy, when all the hormones are there and the excitement of another baby is there. It should be one that is saved for before or after pregnancy when you can weigh in all the options and pros and cons.

I was forced into mine, and while I didn`t have it done while pregnant (obviously), the forcing happened when I was pregnant. I told myself I was okay, because I had only ever wanted three kids.

Tubal ligation is NOT just able not having more kids. I can mess with your hormones, cycles, it can cause constant pain. I`d REALLY research it before making this kind of decision.

As soon as I woke from surgery, I regretted it, big time. It took me two years to pay off the $5800 surgery to reverse it. I am SO much happier, have more energy, I feel like I`m a normal person again.

Ultimately, it`s you`re decision, but from someone who had it done, and knows what it feels like when it`s done, research, wait until the hormones have settled, and THEN make the decision. Good luck

 

[Nikkilewis14]

Meeeee!

Im a type 1 diabetic, 28 years old, and pregnancy w diabetes is just hard on my body...this is my second and thats all we planned on having so will be getting my tubes tied...if i have a c section ( my mind is still up in the air right now!) then i will have them do it then...if not, ill wait 6 weeks and have it done laproscopically.

 

[Jo.t]

I was thinking of getting my tubes tied after my 6th but in the end my husband had the snip.

Thankfull for that now as we divorced due to DV & I have had another baby with my new husband !
My ex has a 19y old partner who really wants children herself but if she stays with him she wont have much chance of doing so - good in a way as any more children born to my ex will be put on the child protection register from birth.

 

[Zuki]

Would you consider maybe having an implant for a while so that you can decide if this is definitely what you both want for sure? I mean they last three years so there's no pressure until you have finished studying that way, and I just think it's a very hormonally charged time for you to make such a big decision if you get my meaning?

 

[CountryMomma]

I am planning to get my tubes tied after the birth of this LO. This is my 3rd and my husband's 4th and together will be our 5th. This will be our first girl after 4 boys so we are extra excited but realize we finally got our wish so it is time to stop. This is a really hard decision for me as I will only be 25 when LO is born and that is awful young to be getting sterilized but DH will be 35 and he is most def done. He also refuses to get the snip (guy thing I guess). I know in my heart I am done, I had my first when I was 19 and have never really had the kind or young adult life I always thought I would, not that I would change it for the world but I am just ready to have my kids and let them grow up and not worry about any more newborns and finding people to watch the kiddos if me and DH want to go out and have some fun. I am not planning to have a c-section as I have never had one before so I will have to go back a few weeks after delivery and have it done lapriscopically.

 

[sailorsgirl]

I am hoping to have my tubes tied during my next c section...this will be my third but I am only 25...so will have to wait and see what my consultant says xxxx