Pregnant and relationship falling apart. partner so horrid to me...........desperatel

[louiseuk31]

hi been together 5 years, volitile relationship. im 31 and he is 44. discovered on new years eve that i am pregnant after being told for 10 years that i cant have any. i tried with my ex husband for years and nothing ever happened. i am 8 weeks pregnant and should be feeling so happy.

however my partners attitude has floored me and knocked me down so hard that i am in depair. he doesnt want another child (he has 3 others) and has been really horrible to me since i found out. calling me names, asking if it's his, saying he feels decieved. constantly telling me about his ex;s who did him wrong (i always have to hear this)

he even said that i was the love of his life but now theres a baby, its all different!!!! how brutal!!!

i will be honest, he is a jealous man who always thinks im cheating. i never have, i stayed because i love him so much and he was so passionate compared to my ex husband who never showed me love.

wow im pregnant, and long to be happy. i cried every night feeling that suddenly im seeing my partner in a whole new way. im not sure if its right to have a baby with him, my instincts say its wrong but i feel pulled towards him when i think about how we could be a family.

i even wished for one moment that i was having this baby with my ex husband, who although he was not as passionate, he would have been so happy. and im crying for him too. i feel like god has given me a miracle but why did he give it to me now?

my partner is so difficult, i have gone away for a week to think. to my mums house. but in that week he has not called me once! he is punishing me, controlling the situation as usual with his mind games.

what do i do? im worried that my baby will remind me of him every day of my life and if i leave i will miss him. i am white and my partner is jamacian. shall i dissapear with my baby and never contact him again? do i try with him?

im constantly crying when i should be so happy like other mums. what do i do???????

 

[whoknowsx]

Leave him, it will only get worse.

*hugs*

 

[BadassMom]

Only you can decide what the right thing to do is. Getting away to think for a week is a great idea. You should feel wonderfully happy about your pregnancy and if he's making it awful maybe that's a sign . I wish I hadn't gotten pregnant by the man I did, and I wish things were different with him, but I know he'll never change. People show their true colors during difficult situations, and he was no exception. But at the end of the day I wouldn't change anything because then I wouldn't be about to have a wonderful child!

 

[Dezireey]

Okay let's look at it this way. You tried for a baby with your ex, no joy there. You are with this new guy and now you are pregnant and 31. If you believe, I mean truly believe that being a 'Mother' (single mum or otherwise is irrelevant in this scenario) is one of the most important things to you in life and you would be devastated if you never had kids in the future, then I think you know what you must do.

I don't think any woman who initially is happy and wants their baby, should be bullied into getting rid of it by their partner. Those buggers can go around inseminating women till the ripe old age of 60 something if they want to, women have a bit of a cut off biological date which is going on for late thirties/40's and then the plumbing starts to slow down etc. I am starting to think they should have lots of free 10 min walk in vasectomy days for men on the national health as there appears to be so many of them that have a violent, nervous breakdowns when they actually do get someone pregnant??

I feel sorry for guys who have one night stands and the condom breaks or something and they get a strange girl pregnant. I do not however feel sorry for any man who is in a long term relationship, gets his partner pregnant and behaves like a nasty monster.It's totally inexcusable and bang out of order. It should actually confirm to the woman that this loser is not worth sacrificing a baby over if he behaves like that.

I swear to god I would have been a bit more understanding to my partner if he had not just dumped me and made me feel as if this was something I had done to him.

Regardless of your decision hun, you need to dump this loser anyway, he is not worth it.

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

leave him hun. But other posteres are right, we can only give you advice & support its upto you what you do, only you know best

P.s congrats on the pregnancy after such a long wait x