ExpatMomKorea
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- May 20, 2016
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I really need some support and encouragement. Ever since my unexpected c-section, I've been an emotional mess. I don't know what to do and I'm so scared for my baby.
I had to give birth to her last Sunday due to uncontrollable Pre-eclampsia. Even after birth, I am still struggling to keep my blood pressure and edema at a manageable level.
My little Amelia weighed in at 2 lbs. 4 oz and is about 15.3 inches in length. I was fortunate to be admitted to the hospital at 28 weeks and got the two steroid shots to help her lung development. I feel so fortunate that she can breathe without a ventilator assisting her. She seems very lively at the NICU, and I'm cherishing every moment I get with her.
However, the overwhelming emotional impact of this situation really hit me this afternoon when the nurse had to give me a stack of papers requesting permission for various procedures that are all "possibilities". I stepped outside in the hall and just lost it. She is my first. I'm so scared for her health right now. I can't even hold her yet, and it's just killing me inside.
My husband is currently unable to enter the U.S. as he is not a U.S. citizen and is working on getting his visa so I am unable to even lean on him at this time. I'm trying to keep him from worrying by handling the medical paperwork. But I feel so torn and scared. I know my husband will breakdown himself if I don't stay strong for us both. My parents are trying hard to encourage me and keep me together. I just can't seem to shake this horrible fear. I want my little girl to be safe and healthy. If I could take her place, I would.
I had to give birth to her last Sunday due to uncontrollable Pre-eclampsia. Even after birth, I am still struggling to keep my blood pressure and edema at a manageable level.
My little Amelia weighed in at 2 lbs. 4 oz and is about 15.3 inches in length. I was fortunate to be admitted to the hospital at 28 weeks and got the two steroid shots to help her lung development. I feel so fortunate that she can breathe without a ventilator assisting her. She seems very lively at the NICU, and I'm cherishing every moment I get with her.
However, the overwhelming emotional impact of this situation really hit me this afternoon when the nurse had to give me a stack of papers requesting permission for various procedures that are all "possibilities". I stepped outside in the hall and just lost it. She is my first. I'm so scared for her health right now. I can't even hold her yet, and it's just killing me inside.
My husband is currently unable to enter the U.S. as he is not a U.S. citizen and is working on getting his visa so I am unable to even lean on him at this time. I'm trying to keep him from worrying by handling the medical paperwork. But I feel so torn and scared. I know my husband will breakdown himself if I don't stay strong for us both. My parents are trying hard to encourage me and keep me together. I just can't seem to shake this horrible fear. I want my little girl to be safe and healthy. If I could take her place, I would.