Preparing big brother

[SpringCrane]

My son will be 2y9m when baby #2 arrives. What are some ideas for preparing him? We talk about the baby, and his little friends have new siblings, so he mostly gets it... But I'm sure it'll be different when the baby doesn't just visit and, you know, is in his space forever! Any good books? Do dolls seem to help?

Also, does anyone have an opinion on big siblings bonding better or preparing better when sex is known versus unknown? I'd like to wait until birth to find out baby's sex, but I do keep tripping up when talking about the baby. He/she, brother/sister, son/daughter... It's getting annoying. For a little guy that's just figuring out boys and girls are different, I'm trying to not confuse him!

 

[greats]

Dd#2 was born when dd#1 was 2y9m... no matter how much I thought I prepared her for the arrival of her sister, nothing worked. It took 6 weeks for dd#1 to stop misbehaving and throwing tantrums, waking up her sister, etc. She doesn't bond either bc baby is too small still and she doesn't understand. That said, dd#1 is my big helper now, she loves getting me wipes and her job is to throw out the diapers, and she's proud to do that!

I will give one big bit of advice... give your oldest as much attention as possible when your newest arrives. They will be craving it and I found the tantrums and bad behavior pretty much subsided once I started focusing on my oldest.

 

[shinona]

It's a lovely age gap. There is 2 years 8 months between my first two and the same again between the second and third. My son adored his sister from the first moment he met her and vice versa. And the two of them loved their wee brother when he arrived. I made sure to talk about their various important big bro/sis jobs and got them involved with getting toys or nappies, for example.
My top tip when you are feeding is to make sure there is space beside you on the sofa for the older child to sit with you. It'll let you read or cuddle or watch tv (be prepared, he will watch more tv than you're comfortable with for the first wee while but it gets easier) .

Good luck x

 

[Willow82]

I'm worried about this. My son will be 3 years 3 months by the time this baby arrives and we've tried to engage him and get him interested in the idea of a sibling but he disengages every time we talk about it. He will literally change the subject or go quiet. I think he's going to find it really hard as he's a proper mummy's boy I thought of getting some books to prepare him but he's only really interested in books about trains and cars and even then he won't let me read to him. A doll might be worth a shot though, I hadn't thought of that.