Prepping for parenting teens

[SarahBear]

OK, so I still have a long ways off before I have teenagers, but my oldest has entered middle childhood, so I want to make sure I keep things on track now for when she enters the teen years later. So far in her life, she has had quite a few ups and downs. A lot of it has to do with her epilepsy and some of it is just who she is as an individual. One thing I've done is try to make sure to keep my reactions in check so that she remains open to talking. When I was over-reacting to her difficulty in Kindergarten at the start of the year, she sort of withdrew from talking. I have since backed off and tried to be more supportive and dialogue has opened back up. She does not have any issues with self-esteem or depression, but she does have anxieties and difficulty with emotional regulation. I could see this easily turning into depression issues as a teenager, so I have her in behavioral therapy and I have a neuropsychological evaluation scheduled so that we can fully understand things with her and get the support she needs. I make sure to make regular time for her and we are going to try to be more regular about chores (and doing them cooperatively). Anyway, thinking forward to the future, just wanted to hear advice for how to establish things now for positive parenting in the teen years as well as things to think about when we do get to the teen years. In the past, I put a good bit of thought into parenting in the early years and so far, I have not put a lot of thought into the teen years or preparing for them.

 

[whatwillbex]

I’m not to sure my dd is the same age as yours.
My only advice is to not think that far ahead and overthink it. They grow so quick just enjoy her for now. Lifes to short, We could do everything by the book and prepare as much as we like but they are going to change from people she meets outside the family circle and different experiences she has at school etc. It’s sounds like you are doing a great job just keep doing what your doing. X

 

[Neko]

Nothing prepares you.

Fortunately I've heard girls don't smell as bad as boys through puberty.

 

[noon_child]

I think that Growth Mindset stuff is great for building resilience in kids.

I also like the "A Mighty Girl" site (I follow it on Facebook) for suggestions of books around subjects like friendship, bullying, sex ed etc. - it's all age appropriate so you can build foundations now and in the future rather than just saying "You are a teenager now so I'm going to suddenly talk to you about Peer Pressure, Sex and Drugs"

Remember a lot of learning happens without you knowing so make sure you treat yourself the way you want her to treat herself - Do you forgive yourself for your mistakes? Praise yourself or criticise yourself? Do you assert yourself, or are you prone to being passive or aggressive? etc.

 

[morri]

I am the same, when lo was a toddler i looked at primary schools, now shes nearly at primary school i look at secondary school postings xD, Also I have absolutely no idea when to expect puberty , as there seems to be a wide span within family, If she is the same as her second cousin then shell be avergae but if shes the same as her cousin once removed shell be earlier. i myself was quite late so who knows xD