Pressure from family to stop BFing?

[CandyDay]

If you printed some stuff out on why breastfeeding is best and why to wait till 6 months to start solids would they read it? Maybe by reading about it from doctors and experts they will understand better where you are coming from. And they may listen to experts more willingly then they will just you.
Be firm with them as to why you are doing what you are doing and that all they are doing by pressuring you is making you feel bad and that you will not stop doing what you think is best. Or perhaps you just need to walk away to another room or something when they start talking about it. Tell them you have already decided on BFing and you don't want to discuss it anymore and walk away.
Yes easier said then done I know.

 

[Elisianna]

I would be so angry if this were happening to me. If I were you I would tell them that I would exclusively breastfeed for as long as I wanted and it was not up for discussion. Then I would refuse to discuss it. If the subject came up I wouldn't say anything, except maybe to reiterate that I would do what I wanted and didn't want to hear from them.

I know one should be polite to in-laws but what they are doing to you is extremely rude. They are wrong, that's that. You won't be able to convince them so just stick to your guns and don't give them anything when they bring it up. Completely stonewall them.

Good luck and please stick to it! Your baby's health matters so much more than any of them and should absolutely come first.

 

[lewood88]

Hey hun sorry ur being pushed in a corner you need to tell them in a nice way to keep out, your his mom you know whats best for you and your baby not them, just tell them you respect there advice but they should respect your decision to carry on bf, im goin to keep bf when my baby is 6 months old then ill express my milk, i formula fed my dd as j was never shown how to breastfeed and also my finances have changed but i think the bonding is amazing something only a mother can feel, dont give up hun put your foot down and stick with what you feel is right xxxx

 

[mrsswaffer]

Thank you.

I talked to DH about it and he has said he'll talk to his parents because he doesn't want me to feel like this every time we go to see them. He told me he's behind me 100% and that it is none of his parents' business. However, when I asked him his honest opinion, he said he wanted to start Harry on solids ASAP and get him off the breast from 6 months. He said, in no uncertain terms, did he want Harrison breastfeeding after he's a year old. I don't see how that is 100% behind me. Growl. I actually feel really alone about it all and wish I'd never brought it up with him.

 

[lewood88]

The trouble with men is they can be selfish at times take no notice hun atleast hes willing to tell his parents to back off do what u feels best

 

[mrsswaffer]

Thanks hun. That's true.

 

[OmiOmen]

Sorry, that doesn't sound very supportive of him. All I can suggest is pointing out you are the one putting in the work so it is more your decision. DH started to buckle once we started to face pressure as DS1 was getting older but now he knows how long we are aiming to BF'ed DS2 and not only does he now seem more comfortable with it but he is so used to the idea that things like some people moving on to follow on formula seem like a really abstract idea to him. I hope your OH comes around like mine did.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Tell him its not as simple as just stopping as its part of harrys routine x

 

[tokyo]

Oh, I really feel for you, went through similar with my mil, very negative towards bfing initially, kept saying how draining it must be, didnt I want daddy to be able to do feeds, that I'd have to stop when lo got teeth, that I had to be careful it didn't become a comfort thing etc etc. Was v tough to begin with but over time I've ignored some comments and challenged others and mil has come around somewhat. She also bases all her thoughts on what she did with her kids and the eldest is now 44! She says she didn't make enough milk to bf for more than a few weeks and then pushes for me to do timed feedings When I explained how this can affect milk supply it was like a light came on - think things fell into place about why she had so many issues etc. I've found that explaining the science behind things and saying that its what the nhs/doc/midwives recommend helps, as its then not me she's arguing with and she feels less able to question medical professionals. Think there was also a bit of a jealousy thing that I was sucessful at bfing when she wasnt, and that I was the only one who could feed lo and have that bond with her. I've definitely worn her down though, recently she told me that she thinks everyone should breastfeed! So hang in there...

I'm now worried about when I'll start getting pressure to wean lo off the breast - my initial aim was 1 year but at nearly 9 months now I can't see it happening. Everyone (including dh) thinks I must stop at a year (no one known to either side of the family has bfed past that so it will be controversial) but I want to keep going. Hope im not in for too much grief (I so am...)

 

[ryleesmom]

i have proudly been breastfeading for 11 months and so many days, and get told by my fiance and his mother that i should wean my dd all the time and they have always been really proud of me ! so i completly understand where ur comeing from.. i love my dd more than anyone or anything so i do what i believe is best and on days i get really bumbed abt it i talk to someone who supports breastfeading at what ever age 100% like my sister or any group i can find online i also look at all the positives a keep them in mind everytime some family members say something negative or ask me when im going to wean her no one has a say so abt ur baby but u so do what u think is best and dont listen to anyone else tell you what to do!! good luck

 

[Wellington]

Firstly- ugh! I've also had that pressure and for the same selfish reasons.
Secondly- how odd, I'm going back to work on the same day with a very similarly aged LO. I too am planning on formula at nursery and me the rest of the time.


I'm on my third, so I'm a bit hardened to the pressure from other members of my 'family'. I stopped BF v early on with the first two so it is perceived that I'm being selfish for doing all the feeds this time round. I'm not sure that I really appreciate my LO being used as a dolly for grown ups to dress up and feed!

My prouder moments recently have been:
MIL: I want to nurse the baby
Me: (rather in appropriately grabbing both of my boobs) I don't think yours will be working after all this time.

I admit that one was a bit vindictive- she meant 'nurse' as in hold and soothe, but it made me feel better.

The second:
ILs: my sons did x at y time
Me: yeah well, a lot has changed in the last FOURTY years.

*snigger*

Sorry, that wasn't helpful, but it made me feel better and I was cross on your behalf

 

[Calif]

My baby is only 6 days old and I got major pressure to stop because he lost a lot of weight after birth (10%) at the 3 day checkup. I fed like crazy and next day he was up 2.5 oz. But that day was so hard and everyone was telling me to give formula including the pediatrician and my Mom. Luckily my husband has been supportive.

 

[mrsswaffer]

Wellington. That made me smile - my MIL and nan (81) both say 'nurse' and mean cuddle. It grates on me every time!