Priorities? (financial and complicated, i don't think it makes sense)

[Kiki1993]

Hi everyone, I am just looking for some guidance about money.
Right now i have saved 2000 for a house, I left my old job which i hated and got my dream job, but it is only temporary with a chance of being kept on depending on how many children enroll for after summer places. I can be kept temporary for 2 full working years, I also have a part time 2 year temp post, another job i have always wanted. Now because they are temp posts we have no channce of a mortgage right now so we are just focusing on saving for one. OH is on a temp contract but it is an agency. He is saving just now but other things always seem to come up, OH booked a holiday with his friends and i might be going away too ( i know this isn't a priority but this is the last time we could do something like this and OH has booked his holiday so am i hell sitting in freezing ass scotland while he suns it up ) Anyway our car is on its last legs has a yeaar left on it i think so we need one of them so that is a priority. We want to get married in 2 years and then once we get permanannt contracts buy a house. So from then it seems fairly simple but then add in the bits making it complicated. OH wants to go back to college to get qualification in welding which he failed when he was 16 but wants to tr again, it is a 2 year course 5 towns away, but the thing is we pay mum 50 a week and buy the food, 50 a fortnight car insurance, 30 week on petrol and this will double when he goes to college. We scrape by managing to save with both of us working but say he goes back to college and i dont get another job straight away? Mum wont let us offf with not paying which is understandable, we have no where else to stay i just feel like it is too risky right now to gamble with me being on a temporary contract, if i was permanant then it wouldn't be as big of a deal, he could go t college while i worked with the wage i would be on we could do it but while im temp it feels likea gamble. But there is no future in the job he is at now and he has no qualifications to get something better and due to his dyslexia he struggles to read, write and process information like working out change for money etc so he really does need that qualification in a trade, he aced his practical tests in college but failed maths. Basically we are stuck, it would be a gamble for him to go back without me being permanant, but he needs the qualifcation to find something better, we can't afford to live in any house if we rely on my wage and then bam i dont get kept on. Feels like we are stuck, even if he went part time it wouldn't be enough to cover expenses ... right now we can't afford to private let, if mum puts rent up at any point we would be screwed, and we cant get council because we work and arent homeless, pregnant, overcrowded etc
I don't know if anyone can give any suggestions or advice but i needed to get it out, its so scrambled in my head i can't make sense of what the right and best thing to do is anymore. I'm sick of being the one who has to handle the finances it is so stressful, OH only just started his savings and he says it for the holiday, car and then house but when we were in the bank i overheard him in his meeting opening the savers account and when she asked him what it is for he said holiday... not car and holiday but holiday.. i confronted him and he says he said car too but i know he didnt. He is terrible with money, saving etc i just don't know what to do i feel so stuck. I can't afford to move out even though i work, and i cant have kids until i move out and it feels like my dreams get further away rather thn closer even though i have just achieve one my biggest goals of getting these jobs.

 

[aimee-lou]

how old are you hun? just curious. personally i would say that life generally is a gamble but if it's what you want you need to go for it. as a student can your oh claim anything to cover his travel for example. have you looked into house shares which are cheaper. try not to get worked up about the what is as you can't predict anything and when things do happen you will deal with them then.

just to give you an idea. my hubby is a full time student. when we moved here i was working full time but in an ongoing temp contract. it's tough butter we get there and 3.5years later we're still strong. hugs.... i do know how you feel.

 

[Kiki1993]

how old are you hun? just curious. personally i would say that life generally is a gamble but if it's what you want you need to go for it. as a student can your oh claim anything to cover his travel for example. have you looked into house shares which are cheaper. try not to get worked up about the what is as you can't predict anything and when things do happen you will deal with them then.

just to give you an idea. my hubby is a full time student. when we moved here i was working full time but in an ongoing temp contract. it's tough butter we get there and 3.5years later we're still strong. hugs.... i do know how you feel.

I'm only 20, 21 in april and oh is 21, but we have been together for 5 and a bit years and feel like we should have accomplished more if that makes sense, we want all the traditional kind of stuff, a house, a car that doesnt keep breaking down, permanant jobs again, a wedding and then children but at the rate we are going we wont be able to get the children for 10 years by the time we have the money and security behind us and the girls in my family go through "the change" very early which makes me worried that by the time the time is "right" my body clock will have run out.
e have looked into shared ownership but even that wont let us without a perm job and they are limited in our area. We did get offered a council house last week and it was PERFECT financial wise, the area wasn't perfect but it was good eough, we couldn't take it though because they wanted us to view it, sign it and pa the rent on the same day and our paydays werent until the friday. We want to travel, well by travel go on holidays to different countries and cultures, before we settle as well and just feels like we want to much and we can't ever have it all. I feel very selfish considering there are people out there who can't eat and im moaning about this but you only live once and we want to do all this stuff, mainly we want kids who are happy, but we do not have the money to accomplish everything we want to do.
I guess i have been thinking a lot about life and death right now, my mum has cancer, my dad (well step dad, he raised me for 19 years so practically my dad) has terminal cancer, my grandad has alzheimers and now OH gran has cancer too and i was speaking to my step dad and he mentioned how he regrets not doing absolutely everything he wanted to, have kids of his own, marry mum officially, camp in different countries etc and it has really made me think about it all and i do want to do everything i want to before i die so i dont regret anything but financially it is impossible x

 

[Rachel_C]

It sounds like most of what you want relies on money and it's sensible to wait until you can properly afford things so I do think you're right to wait for kids etc but you need a plan for how to get there, step-by-step. Right now, you have the final steps planned out (saving for a house, then marriage and kids) but you don't have the start, which is getting the jobs to get a mortgage. I don't personally think there's much point saving for a house now when the first steps still need to be completed.

I think your OH has the beginnings of a good plan though - go to college and get a qualification that will hopefully allow him to get a decent and permanent job where he can progress. If he doesn't do that, you might never get the things you want. Instead of keeping your savings for a house and maybe never getting the jobs that will allow you to get a mortgage, I'd seriously consider using the savings and anything else you could save right now to help fund the college course. Look into any financial help he could get and whether he'd be able to continue working while studying, then see how far your savings will go towards the rest.

Once OH has a job in a couple of years, he should be earning a better wage which will allow him to save properly for house, wedding, kids. Your £2000 is like an investment to get to that stage.

 

[Kiki1993]

It sounds like most of what you want relies on money and it's sensible to wait until you can properly afford things so I do think you're right to wait for kids etc but you need a plan for how to get there, step-by-step. Right now, you have the final steps planned out (saving for a house, then marriage and kids) but you don't have the start, which is getting the jobs to get a mortgage. I don't personally think there's much point saving for a house now when the first steps still need to be completed.

I think your OH has the beginnings of a good plan though - go to college and get a qualification that will hopefully allow him to get a decent and permanent job where he can progress. If he doesn't do that, you might never get the things you want. Instead of keeping your savings for a house and maybe never getting the jobs that will allow you to get a mortgage, I'd seriously consider using the savings and anything else you could save right now to help fund the college course. Look into any financial help he could get and whether he'd be able to continue working while studying, then see how far your savings will go towards the rest.

Once OH has a job in a couple of years, he should be earning a better wage which will allow him to save properly for house, wedding, kids. Your £2000 is like an investment to get to that stage.

That sounds really good, i myself want to go back to collegee to do a hnd in social science and then get a full time job again and do the final year online which would be about 2000 i think, possibly more it seems to go up every year :/ But i don't know if we can afford for us both to go back to college, i could keep my part time job on the weekends but he doesw not know if his job will allow him to go to part time. I want to go back although i love working with children and also with those with disabilities it isnt a job i can see myself doing when im 35 and i dont want to go back at 35 to college when we have a mortgage etc, its just so difficult, this is OH final chance at college, he didnt take the thinking side of college seriously, he tried but he gets frustrated, he did fab with the practical side, passed everything except maths, they wont let him just sit the unit as the course changed so much. I do want him too for our future but my family isnt lenient with bills, i.e. our car was 200 to fix, still havent been paid from my new job and wont for a whole month OH gets paid weekly, and we get by comfortably but we had spent our "leisure" money we put aside for dates and then the car broke down, so we had no money barr our savings so we asked if we could pay it the following week and she flat out refused. I understand but she didnt even have bills to pay with it and we had plenty food gas n leckie etc. I have talked about it with her and she says "do what you want" but i need to know she wont chuck us out if we cant afford every payment while at college, e considered going to his mums house, she has said she would house us for less money, we could have our privacy and stuff but i just dont think i would feel comfortable especially because mum has never had money, she has lived on disability since she was 20 when she was in an accident which crushed the lower part of her back and i dont want her to just rely on the state, when i started working and paying rent she was able to actually treat herself rather living pay to pay It just feels so complicated for me because unlike most of my friends i dont have mummy n daddy to pay my rent and spending money until they finish uni, i couldnt go to uni after school because the application cost like 30 quid and at that time i didnt have that feel like i shoud have just stuck in im really confused and dont know where to start in making these decisions