query ??

[optimistic13]

Hi there I just wanted to put a question out there if any one could offer any advice id be very appreciative : ))))

my hubby and I have been trying to conceive for 3.5 years now.
As we are under nhs we obviously have to abide by the rules and protocol.
Im on metformin and its helped me to lose 3st and gain a normal cycle I still have a good stone to lose.


But under nhs guidelines both hubby and I have to have bmi's of 29.
My bmi is 31 and hubby has a huge amount to lose.
We have been thinking about going private I was curious if private clinic have the same protocol of both partners needing to be 29.9 and under??
After 4 years its devastating to be so desperate for children and are weight is apparently the only thing stopping us moving forward

Please if anyone is or has been in a similar situation please talk to me : )))

 

[kaye]

Hi

We have been trying 4 years, I have lost 3st 4lb myself since january as nhs told me January. My partner has a huge amount to lose and is struggling to get going.

Anyway private ask for a bmi of 35.

 

[optimistic13]

Hi kaye thanks for getting back to me. Are you under private health care?
I read its harder to treat with ivf with bmi over 29 because of all the fat tissue etc ??
Its hard isn't it. But well done you for losing 3st : )) Have you got much to lose?
We last saw nhs fertility back in april when I had hsg and she basically said there is nothing she can do for us til our weight is 29.9 its hard x
If I needed clomid help with ovulation we could have tgat

 

[optimistic13]

Sorry posted to quick.
Yeh if bmi under 35 . But ivf and iui is next for us.
How about you two? Xx

 

[kaye]

no were not private buf wish we could. i have 12lb to go to go back to nhs then my bmi will be 29.9 . its been hard work but losing the weight has really helped my depression over trying lift. are you at tge right weight now?

 

[optimistic13]

no were not private buf wish we could. i have 12lb to go to go back to nhs then my bmi will be 29.9 . its been hard work but losing the weight has really helped my depression over trying lift. are you at tge right weight now?

Hi Kaye..
Well done you. .
Im 7lb away from 29.9 but would like to lose a St to be well clear of 29.9.
I suffer with pcos so its a battle.
Yeh it gives u feel good factor feel better about yourself.
Sorry to hear you suffer with depression x
I think ive been a little depressed lately really gets to you doesn't it.
Feel like our whole lives revolve around trying for kids for 4yrs. : (
Im in devon, where in the uk are u ?
Does your hubby have to be 29.9 too?
Each council is different post code lottery : (
Private is huge costly commitment x

 

[kaye]

They haven't mentioned my hubby weight yet, however they originally said they would not help me get pregnant at the heavier weight as more health risks and complications in pregnancies, so they would never help someone in that situation. So I presume it is just me as I will be carrying the baby, and I will argue that. My hubby sperm analysis meets the WHO guidelines.
How
I only got depressed over trying for a baby, it's is the hardest most frustrating, emotionally draining thing to go through, and part from the ladies on here, no one really understands do they? Everything they say hurts more, even when you know they are trying to help.
Im in Manchester.

Also is it clomid you think you need? Coz if you went private and a consultant said you need clomid, your own go can prescribe that (well mine said he would if a consultant had said so) . Any other treatments are very expensive private.

 

[optimistic13]

They haven't mentioned my hubby weight yet, however they originally said they would not help me get pregnant at the heavier weight as more health risks and complications in pregnancies, so they would never help someone in that situation. So I presume it is just me as I will be carrying the baby, and I will argue that. My hubby sperm analysis meets the WHO guidelines.
How
I only got depressed over trying for a baby, it's is the hardest most frustrating, emotionally draining thing to go through, and part from the ladies on here, no one really understands do they? Everything they say hurts more, even when you know they are trying to help.
Im in Manchester.

Also is it clomid you think you need? Coz if you went private and a consultant said you need clomid, your own go can prescribe that (well mine said he would if a consultant had said so) . Any other treatments are very expensive private.

Its so hard, I do feel your pain. Its so hard every month, every year that passes by. It doesn't get easier.

People try to understand but they don't : ((

It makes me angry that the nhs is allowed to dictate to you over weight, I don't believe its the answer to everything a good excuse.

I don't believe after losing another half a st im going to fall
pregnant.
I also am my own worst enemy so take it all very personally at being over weight, pcos, and unable to conceive.
I don't need clomid I ovulate naturally, all my ovulation levels are fine.

Do you ovulate naturally?reg cycle.
Ive never looked at those who guideline, not heard of those.
Hubby has had 2 sperm analysis done and both came back absolutely fine.
But fertility dr wanted him to also get weight down to 29.9.
It all comes down to money with the nhs.

I was born in wigan so not far from Manchester : ))

Going private is a huge expensive commitment.
But been refused by our local nhs hospital anymore help with ivf or iui treatments til we have reached the bmi.

So we are thinking about maybe next year starting the ball rolling with that.
We would prefer to obviously exhaust nhs treatments before turning to private but feel we have no choice : ((
Take care x x

 

[optimistic13]

Sorry kaye hope I didn't upset u : ((((

 

[YearningHeart]

optimistic13 - Hii, I went through very similar thing. When I was refereed to the fertility clinic they checked my BMI and said I was 32 and they cant process things unless my weight goes to 30 so I would have to be refereed to the doctor! Soon as he sad it - This is what I did Yep right in front of the doctor I started crying like a
So he was nice and said 'Fine Il give you 6 weeks and come back and we will weigh you again' I was so happy. Soon as I got home my crazy weight loss began. If I didnt get my BMI to 30 in 6 weeks I would be back to my GP!

I also have PCOS and weight losing is an absolute mission! I did so much research in how to lose weight with PCOS. I was on a low carb diet which is EXCELLENT! well for me anyway. I would eat low carb food and high fiber food for example - Fish, Vegetables,Weetabix, Brown bread, boiled egg, grilled chicken. I also did regular exercise, had dinner early - All of this helped soo much and when I went to the Fertility clinic after 6 weeks my BMI was 29.something and I was soo

It is hard losing weight with PCOS. I was on metformin too and that didnt help much. My low carb meal and exercise worked. The hardest part is to stay discipline. I would recommend low carb diet.

 

[optimistic13]

Hi there nice to talk to you..
Did your partner have to have bmi lower than 29.9 also ?
My bmi was 39/40 when I started the process, now in 30s. Taken a long time to come down.
Lost 3.3st . I tend to lose 1lb every 2 weeks. That's watching what I eat and exercising.
I take metformin to regulate insulin also due to pcos : ((
Well done you for losing the weight x
Are you having fertility treatment?
Are u in uk?
Have you conceived?
First baby ?
How long have you been ttc?
We have been trying since 09. Long hard time. Frustrating, distressing : ((

 

[optimistic13]

Hi there nice to talk to you..
Did your partner have to have bmi lower than 29.9 also ?
My bmi was 39/40 when I started the process, now in 30s. Taken a long time to come down.
Lost 3.3st . I tend to lose 1lb every 2 weeks. That's watching what I eat and exercising.
I take metformin to regulate insulin also due to pcos : ((
Well done you for losing the weight x
Are you having fertility treatment?
Are u in uk?
Have you conceived?
First baby ?
How long have you been ttc?
We have been trying since 09. Long hard time. Frustrating, distressing : ((

Yeh thanku re: low carbs.
I saw dietician in 09 she recommended low gi diet for pcos but I get ibs so I can't tolerate brown pasta, bread, weetabix. Makes it hard : ((
Too much meat isn't so good for me with metformin.
Are u on metformin?
Do you suffer with the pcos badly?
Have you been diagnosed? Xx

 

[YearningHeart]

Lol you have so many questions, Ok here goes -

1. The doctors didnt check my husbands weight.
2. I just had IVF treatment and it was a BFN which was just few days ago. No I will naturally though I know thats unlikely and if no success then IVF again.
3. Yes I am in the UK
4. I have not conceived and I have never conceived
5. I have been TTC for nearly 6 years
6. I am not on Metformin as I just finished IVF. I am thinking of going to the doctors for some medicines that will help me ovulate. At the same time Im trying to eat healthy, exercise, check body temperature everyday, ovulation check with stick and so on.
7. My PCOS is not too bad. I have it but I dont think its extremely bad, like I have the symptoms of not bleeding until after months but things like acne/facial hair - I dont have. I have weight issue and big battles with weight.
8. For PCOS the doctors first gave Metformin and then they put me straight on IVF. (I have PCOS and my right tube is blocked)

I know TTC can be very depressing. Try staying as strong as possible, we are here for you.
What is 'ibs'? Are you not allowed high fiber food? x

 

[optimistic13]

Hi sorry wasn't meant in a bad way was curious
Nice to hear from others going through same/similar things x
Im sorry for about the ivf cycle this time , it's tough isnt it.
Sorry sounds like you've had some tough times. : (
6 years is a long tough time, being 4yrs for us I know its so hard.
Well done for getting your weight down staying so positive and determined.. : ))
I recently had hsg to clean-flush tubes appear to be fine. I had a lap in 09 confirmed pcos but symptoms/problems for years have bad heavy painful irregular periods, weight issues, ,excess hair its soul destroying, since being on metformin for 2.5yrs cycle is regular, lost weight.
Irritable bowel syndrome (ibs)
So brown rice/bread /pasta etc causes irritation.
Metformin has changed my appetite completely im hungrier, metabolism working faster. It's hard isn't it finding a balance of getting on with life but obviously main objective to have children.
It's very hard when u feel u have nhs dictating to u.
For us atm we can't move forward til both our bmi are 29.9 and under.
We are considering private next year but unsure of their protocols.
Are u under nhs or private?
Xx
Sorry for all questions

 

[optimistic13]

Did the fertility team ask u to monitor temperature etc?
The fertility dr I saw advised me not to worry about temps.
Guess every dr/team work different ..
Each councila around the country different.
Im under torbay I can have 4 iui 1 ivf once I reach bmi.
Post code lotto : (

 

[optimistic13]

Do you ovulate naturally?

 

[wannabemummyb]

We also have the same situation.

A little about us: we've been trying for 3 years and 8 months. I have PCOS and am overweight. DH is overweight also.
We saw a FS after a year of trying and they wouldn't do anything until we lost weight. Our FS was pretty vile tbh. Dh was never weighed, we were tokd it was all based on my weigt.
I've lost 3 stone; partly due to metformin, partly due to low GI diet, exercise etc. i still have more weight to lose.
Over the last year my cycles got really regular; every 28 days. I got pregnant in April and sadly lost the baby at the end of June. My cycle has been a litte all over the place since.

I'm determined to lose the remaining weight in the next 6-12 months. We've recently moved counties so hoping to ind a better FS but have considered going private.

 

[YearningHeart]

optimistic13 - You dont need to apologise! Theres nothing wrong in asking, I know how it feels. When I first went to the Fertility clinic I would ask so many question on the forum. It is very nice to read other peoples TTC stories and sometimes its so similar.
Yeah it is tough having a failed IVF but it is not too bad as I thought it would be. I think thats because I have read many peoples first time IVF does not work (Its not the case for all). Yeah 6 years/4 years are all long years of waiting. Do you feel like its much longer than that? I feel I have been TTC for ages!!

My weight is still not good enough. Currently my BMI is Overweight, I want it o get to Healthy. Iv still got long way to go but yes better than before. Im sorry to hear about your IBS - So can you eat low carb food? Does that irritate your body? Wow you have been on Metformin for long time, maybe thats why you saw an effect in weight. I was on Metformin for only like 3 months. I did not like metformin, they gave me chest ache.

Yeah I agree, sometimes it does feel like NHS are dictating, but I guess thats better than working it out myself since that does not seem to work. I am with NHS. I have 3 free rounds. So 2 more to go. I dont intend to go private unless my 3 free rounds of IVF finish.

 

[YearningHeart]

Nope my fertility did not tell me about recording temperature. I just read it on the internet so thought well why not.

As for ovulating naturally - No I dont think so, from what I remember the GYN said I do not ovulate or its not known when I ovulate something like that. I am going to book an appointment with the GP for medicine which will help me ovulate and see what they say. I dont think I can start my 2nd round of IVF until few months later. I really hops I can get a BFP without having to go through 2nd round of IVF. Personally I dont like IVF, It drained me out.
xx

 

[YearningHeart]

wannabemummy - Im sorry to hear you lost the baby. Losing weight is very hard especially when there is PCOS. Well done for losing 3 stones! Thats a lot! If you can lose 3 stones then I know you can lose to your goal!! Good luck
Have you move countries for fertility treatment? Is there any countries particular good with fertility treatments? Just out of interest.