Question for those whose babies self-settled early on

[SarahBear]

My first was never a self-settler, but Leo started self-settling to sleep fairly early. He didn't do it for every sleep time, but he did do it frequently. Then the last week or so he's been having a harder time in general. He's been clingier and not self-settling or being happy in his rocker or the blanket on the floor whereas in the past he'd like to play on the blanket on the floor and would fall asleep either on the blanket or in the rocker (without being rocked or with minimal rocking). Just now though, he happily played on the blanket and self settled to sleep after nursing. I think we may be going back to "normal" where he isn't as clingy and is able to self-settle. Having a baby who self-settles is new to me though; Violet didn't do it. I know the answer is different for each baby and there are natural bumps like the one we just had, but for those of you who had a baby who self-settled early on, how long did it last? Did it continue into older baby-hood or into toddler-hood at all? Or did it stop after a while once your baby hit certain levels of cognitive development? What was your experience?

 

[Zinky]

my first didn't/has never self settled therefore I was shocked and into the unknown when DD did from a young age! I could put her down in the cot wide awake and within 10 minutes she would fall asleep no fuss.
Things started to change from about 10 months, when she needed some help from me but it was fine as after some cuddles I could put her down drowsy.
BUT from 18 months she lost all ability to self settle. It coincided with severe separation anxiety and we had to start bed sharing otherwise none of us would get any sleep. She's 22 months now and things haven't changed sleep wise. The separation anxiety is passing but she still needs me there at night.

 

[Julesillini8]

Both of my girls settled on their own around about 3 months old. ( I think my little guy will too). And they stayed that way. One is two , the other is almost four. They climb into bed ( for nap or bedtime) and I leave and voila, they sleep. I know all kids are different and I'm sure there are some that change in and out of phases.... But my kids have always fallen asleep on their own. ( I do think they learned this as babies. I read the book 'health sleep habits, happy child' and information from there was wonderfully useful and successful for me). That's just me and my kids. My two cents

 

[Loui1001]

My 2 both self settled quite early and easily for naps and night sleep. Ds is almost 4 and has always been a good sleeper and dd is 19 months - there's definitely time for her to change but I don't *think* she will (she likes her sleep too much). She did hit sleep regressions quite hard but even then it was more night wakenings rather than difficulty re settling iykwim?

 

[_Meep_]

Mine did it pretty much from birth until she was about 5 months.

She turned one yesterday and has yet to relearn the self-settling technique.

 

[MommyJogger]

J wasn't a self-settler. R did from birth and still does, but we haven't exactly hit a peak in separation anxiety yet, so there's still a lot of time for him to change his mind.
I fully don't buy that self-settling is a learned/taught thing. I still prefer to cuddle/nurse/rock R until he falls asleep. I've literally gone perhaps a month at a time where I didn't bother to put him down awake or even drowsy and just cuddled until he was a limp rag or wore him in the carrier. Then at the end of that month-ish when I had to walk away to do something once, I put the (highly mobile) baby sitting up on the floor bed and walked downstairs to do it and he just laid himself down and zonked out in the 30 seconds it took me to wipe a toddler butt.

 

[Larkspur]

My daughter self-settles most of the time. She goes into her cot drowsy (or rolls away on the bed herself when we are co-sleeping). Hasn't STTN since four months though.

 

[Beanonorder]

My experience is similar to zinky. Dd self settled from early - put her down awake, kiss her good night and leave the room and she'd be asleep in ten minutes. Then it 19 months it all went to crap. She's now 2 and a half and it takes half an hour to 2 hours to get her to sleep and I have to sit there with her. Halfway through the night she ends up coming through to sleep in my bed. I miss my self settling baby!

 

[AK89]

If there's anything I've learnt from my almost 9 months of being a mother, it's that babies (in particular their sleeping habits) are anything but predictable! They change ALL. THE. TIME. So it'd be hard (if not impossible) to predict what your baby's sleeping habits will be like in the future based on other people's experiences.

Also, self-soothing is a big old lie. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You may be lucky enough to have a little one who needs minimal to no parental input to get off to sleep, but that is by no means "self soothing". Self soothing is something that children under the age of about 5 - if not older, I'm not sure - are physically incapable of doing. It's something that "parenting experts" dangle in front of your nose so you'll buy their books. Babies aren't equipped with the part of the brain required to self soothe, unfortunately! It actually makes me so angry that so many "experts" advocate teaching your baby to self soothe. Thankfully there has been a lot of publicity around the myth of self soothing lately, and hopefully someday soon sleep training will be a thing of the past.

Count yourself lucky that you've got a baby who requires minimal parental input - for the time being!

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/tag/self-soothing-myth/

(By the way I know that link is largely to do with sleep training, which I'm aware you're not referring to! It just explains what I'm talking about about self soothing )

 

[superfrizbee]

DD self soothed very early - 5 or 6 weeks? She was very reliable at night, naps were more hit and miss. She did ok when she wasn't over stimulated. However when she got more aware of the world she used to fight her naps dreadfully and didn't want to miss a thing. She was still very good at bedtime though and during the night. She became more of a pickle at bedtime as a young toddler, as many do, and had a horrible patch at 20 odd months when she wouldn't go to sleep. That was hard, but it passed and now I look back with my rose tints on!

 

[SarahBear]

Well, Leo seems to not do it as frequently, but he still doesn't need as much as what I remember for Violet.