question! (kinda deep...maybe I need a therapist. haha!)

[myangel167]

So, maybe some of you will think that this is a stupid question....but I'm finding myself wondering about this and almost feeling a little bit of guilt in a weird way. So, I'm 25, and don't have any kids. I totally have baby fever though! Whenever I daydream about my future and give in to all my baby fever thoughts, I'm always thinking about what it will be like to be PREGNANT, and all the clothes I will wear, and hope that I wont be tooo fat, and the baby shower, and thinking of names, and ultra sounds, giving birth, planning, buying baby stuff, etc.

I noticed that I dont often think of the actual CHILD that I would have. Like occasionally I'll WOnder what he or she will look like, and how I will love to hold my baby and how much I will love him/her. But thats pretty much the extent of it.

I don't really daydream about a toddler or a young kid or a teenager. (its crossed my mind, but I dont "daydream" about it) Just a newborn baby, but mostly just the PREGNANCY part of the whole thing.

I'm wondering....am I obsessed with having a baby/wanting to be a mom? Or just being pregnant? Like, I'm wondering if maybe I'm just wanting attention or something and I think being pregnant will provide that.

I can't decide. Of course I want to be a mom, and once it happens I'm sure I'll love all parts of it. But right now I'm having trouble seeing beyond just the pregnancy aspect. Maybe because being pregnant is such a huge/life changing thing and its exciting? I don't know.


ANY INPUT?? Can anyone relate? ANy moms start out feeling this way?


by the way, i usually wouldnt open up about this but Im feeling all emo today...haha. So only nice/helpful responses please

 

[Wnt2beAMom]

I totally started out like this...still do a little, but now that we are getting closer to TTC and DH is on board and excited too I like looking even further into the future when the kid is over a year old. I think this is totally normal how you are feeling though

 

[Broody85]

I am pretty much the same as you I rarely think about the child as a toddler or school age. Maybe we can both be weird together

 

[Crazywaiter]

I think this is normal. I have 2 kids and I still don't "daydream" about them being much older than they are...as a matter of fact it scares the shit out of me! Lol. I think first you get this yearning to be pregnant, then during pregnancy you daydream about the baby, giving birth, parenting, etc. Then after the baby comes you just take care of that little babe until that wanting to be pregnant starts happening again. At least that's me...so I'm going to diagnose you as normal.

 

[myangel167]

crazywaiter- thanks...your post actually made me feel a lot better!! totally makes sense.

 

[KalonKiki]

Totally normal, hun.

I think it's common to take things in steps. When I was WTT with DS all I could think about was being pregnant. What it was going to be like to see my first , what symptoms I would experience, what craving I would get, what my bump would look like, what the ultrasounds would be like, what my baby shower would be like, ect ect. Then when I got pregnant all I could think about was my baby. What gender was I having? What would he/she look like? For that matter would baby look more like me or my DF? When baby's birthday would be, how I would feel when I gave birth and held him in my arms for the first time, what his first word would be, ect ect. Now that he's here all I can think about are the developmental milestones he'll achieve and when, what he's going to look like as a toddler, what his favorite things are going to be, which foods he's going to like and dislike, ect ect.

It's too much overload and chaos to try and daydream about this stuff all at once, so I would think it normal that we would just want to concentrate on things as they come. I don't think that you're just wanting to get pregnant for attention or anything like that, you're just excited to take the next step.

 

[Eline]

I totally have the same thing and was wondering about it too. Because the pregancy seems to be more about you then about the baby, certainly in the beginning, I thought maybe i'm just super egocentric :s Because I daydream more about telling the family and giving birth then about the baby itself. But as I can't see a baby or toddler without smiling, I think I'll be alright. Teenagers really scare me though. Can't imagine wanting one of those in the house :s

 

[BumpySomeday]

Oh you are not weird hunny! I've caught myself too.. thinking gosh, okay do you want a BABY? Or do you want a PERSON? lol... it's a lot to think about. But honestly, I think everyone else is right in that you take it in steps. I don't think anyone day dreams about having a teenager... hahaha! But when your child does become a teenager & then an adult you'll still love them with everything they are because YOU created them...YOU taught them everything they know.

I think it'll be wonderful to be able to tell them all about when they were a baby, how you thought of them ALL THE TIME before they existed as anything. I think it's the LOVE you subconsciously desire and you develop from pregnancy-birth-person... it's progressive. The good thing is by WAITING you are preparing for a child...not necessarily a baby (at least I know that's why I am)

 

[MamaByrd]

I'm right there with ya.

 

[Mimzy3]

Like the other ladies said totally normal! Good Luck on your journey to motherhood!

 

[myangel167]

Thank u ladies for assuring I'm not weird or selfish or seeking attention or whatever. I totally see what you are saying and feel better about my feelings now. Ahh! So excited t be a mom someday!

 

[tverb84]

I think about the same things too a lot.Also, I worry about what age I'll have children and sometimes when I see a mom or parents out with their children I think "why can't that be me?". After thinking that I remind myself it'll happen when it is meant to.

 

[Pearls18]

It's funny I am the opposite. All the times I have been broody I think about the children, the teenagers, even young adults, I dream about what my complete family will look like. Even before having kids I pictured them 2+ although I was excited to be pregnant.

I would love a 3rd child but I don't want to do pregnancy/labour/newborn again so I'm really torn.

I think we are designed to be broody for babies, you will love them just the same as children, you just have a different vision ATM.

 

[Heather.1987]

.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

Totally normal.

I have a 3 year old (who is almost 4) and in fairness I never think about her being any older than she is right now, I can't imagine her being at big school with a proper uniform and making friends that she will have over for dinner or sleepovers etc, I don't think about her being 16 or 18 and her going out with friends etc (mainly because those kind of thoughts terrify me!), but even now whilst WTT for #2 I don't really think about what it will be like having 2 children, I think about what it will be like having a baby and a 3 year old. Which is crazy as DD will be 4 before we even TTC

 

[LilMiss_91]

I was always like this. I've wanted children since I can remember but my daydreaming was always based around pregnancy and having a newborn.
I'll also admit that since I've actually BEEN pregnant, I don't daydream about it so much anymore! Lol.

 

[myangel167]

lol! yeah, ive only heard from a handful of women that they enjoyed pregnancy, or thought its wasn't so bad. everyone else usually complains. I just can't wait to find out if I will dislike it! lol I cant wait to start complaining! haha

 

[sequeena]

I found it really hard to imagine what my son would look like until he was born. It is extremely hard to imagine a small baby filling those little clothes and yes pregnancy is your time too you're meant to enjoy it I had a really tough pregnancy and almost lost my son but I enjoyed being pregnant, feeling him move, having a bump etc.

 

[tverb84]

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant.I was in the first trimester but I'm not sure how far along I was. I remember putting my hands on my stomach as if I could feel the baby. I can't wait until it happens for real.

 

[myangel167]

awww yeah. i have baby dreams all the time! i always wake up all disappointed that it wasnt real lol