Quite Angry.....kicked out of a cafe :-(

[Spudtastic]

Hi Ladies

I just need to rant and vent because I've been fuming after being kicked out of a local cafe.

As a bit of background, there are five or six cases of confirmed whooping cough in my area so everyone is a little on edge.

My dd has a cough but it's not whooping cough. We have been to the doctors so we know. It's also week four of the winter cough so even if it was whooping cough (which it isn't) she wouldn't be contagious anyway.

The cafe owner told me that my dd had whooping cough and that she didn't want me and my dd at the cafe because she has pregnant staff.

I understood her concern and told her that we'd been to the doctors, it's not whooping cough and it is just a winter cough. I thought that would be it and she would be happy with my explanation.

But she disagreed with me, adamant that I was spreading whooping cough, and made it clear we could stay to finish our drinks if we didn't touch anything and stayed in our seats but then we had to go. I said 'I'm not coming back here' so then she got angry with me telling me that a comment like that was uncalled for.
I was so upset as I felt that by her telling me my dd DID have whooping cough and that she was spreading it around town after my explanation, was the same as calling me a liar and irresponsible. (I would never take my daughter out if I suspected she had contagious whooping cough).

She was quite rude and abusive after that. It was totally unnecessary really.

Dd just has this long cough and is otherwise fine. We can't stay home for two whole months.
I'm feeling a bit better about it now though as I know we all have our bad days but she does has a reputation for being rude.

Still, it's never nice to feel like a leper so I had to buy a cinammon bun today.


NB: - Also, I just want to say this is not a vaccination rant. Please no vaccination debates. My DD is vaccinated. I am aware of whooping cough and how it is spread and newborns etc. I am getting family vaccinated too for when this newborn arrives and myself. I have done my research and have read research studies too. I just needed to rant to get it off my chest. I am also aware this lady should have been given more information. She's still a rude stupid moo.

 

[LulaBug]

What a rude woman. Clearly being pregnant yourself, you'd not be around someone with whooping cough and if your daughter did, I'm sure you'd have made necessary child care plans or asked for help in how to prevent possible spreading of it.

She won't be in business for long with an attitude like that x

 

[justplay91]

This woman sounds rude and not particularly medically educated. However, it's kind of nice that she has the welfare of her employees in mind. You don't see that a lot. That said, she was still in the wrong and shouldn't have handled it that way at all.

 

[jlw617]

Though I agree it stinks to be treated like that and it sounds like she wasn't very professional, you have to remember she doesn't know you and doesn't know if you're an honest person or not...if I were a manager I would wonder how I would have handled it but I might ask someone to leave as well and here's why...I'm an assistant nursery director for a large church and you would not believe how many parents lie about their children's health, including as much as I hate to say it, the main director!!! So here's a place with policies that are given to every parent and they will still bring their kids that are very clearly ill to infect everyone! I just would have to err on the side of caution, so while I'm not saying she was right, think about it like this, let's say you were at that same cafe and you were pregnant with no children yet and another mom came in with a small child that had an awful cough and you knew whooping cough was going around, if it were me, child or no child I would want the manager to do something...sorry I hope you know I'm not saying you're feelings are invalid, just playing devils advocate because I could see myself not being comfortable in that situation as another patron.

 

[gemstone]

Wow what a horrid lady. Whooping cough is a deadly cough. I'm sure if she had it she'd be very poorly indeed. Like blue in the face or red from hard continuous coughing 😂. I would be angry too. Hope you're little girl is feeling better soon 😃

 

[Spudtastic]

Though I agree it stinks to be treated like that and it sounds like she wasn't very professional, you have to remember she doesn't know you and doesn't know if you're an honest person or not...if I were a manager I would wonder how I would have handled it but I might ask someone to leave as well and here's why...I'm an assistant nursery director for a large church and you would not believe how many parents lie about their children's health, including as much as I hate to say it, the main director!!! So here's a place with policies that are given to every parent and they will still bring their kids that are very clearly ill to infect everyone! I just would have to err on the side of caution, so while I'm not saying she was right, think about it like this, let's say you were at that same cafe and you were pregnant with no children yet and another mom came in with a small child that had an awful cough and you knew whooping cough was going around, if it were me, child or no child I would want the manager to do something...sorry I hope you know I'm not saying you're feelings are invalid, just playing devils advocate because I could see myself not being comfortable in that situation as another patron.

Hi jlw - I'm also playing devils advocate here...I appreciated your point of view and I'm replying politely with another...

I've had some time to digest what happened and I appreciate that the owner was concerned for her staff.
Something I have found interesting in this whole whooping cough scenario is how the lack of information provided or research results in discrimination.
Whooping cough is actually mostly spread by adulta and grandparents. They usually haven't had a whooping cough booster (it only works for 8 to 10 years) and can have a mild cough. They don't relise they have it and is often not noticed by other people. Therefore they pass it on.

So....is it right to pick on the child who coughs less discretely and feel safe because you have done something proactive or should you kick out all the elderly because they are the most common carriers and it's hard to tell if they have it or not?

I'm looking at this from the historical perspective of how hysteria and wrong information result in a particular group being targeted...whether rightly or wrongly.
Interesting....thanks for your perspective.

I'm actually personally very concerned that this is still around when my little one arrives and I've asked all relatives to be vacinated of they wish to visit baby before 6 weeks.

 

[Hotbell312]

She sounds rude. Sorry you had to go through that.

 

[jlw617]

Though I agree it stinks to be treated like that and it sounds like she wasn't very professional, you have to remember she doesn't know you and doesn't know if you're an honest person or not...if I were a manager I would wonder how I would have handled it but I might ask someone to leave as well and here's why...I'm an assistant nursery director for a large church and you would not believe how many parents lie about their children's health, including as much as I hate to say it, the main director!!! So here's a place with policies that are given to every parent and they will still bring their kids that are very clearly ill to infect everyone! I just would have to err on the side of caution, so while I'm not saying she was right, think about it like this, let's say you were at that same cafe and you were pregnant with no children yet and another mom came in with a small child that had an awful cough and you knew whooping cough was going around, if it were me, child or no child I would want the manager to do something...sorry I hope you know I'm not saying you're feelings are invalid, just playing devils advocate because I could see myself not being comfortable in that situation as another patron.

Hi jlw - I'm also playing devils advocate here...I appreciated your point of view and I'm replying politely with another...

I've had some time to digest what happened and I appreciate that the owner was concerned for her staff.
Something I have found interesting in this whole whooping cough scenario is how the lack of information provided or research results in discrimination.
Whooping cough is actually mostly spread by adulta and grandparents. They usually haven't had a whooping cough booster (it only works for 8 to 10 years) and can have a mild cough. They don't relise they have it and is often not noticed by other people. Therefore they pass it on.

So....is it right to pick on the child who coughs less discretely and feel safe because you have done something proactive or should you kick out all the elderly because they are the most common carriers and it's hard to tell if they have it or not?

I'm looking at this from the historical perspective of how hysteria and wrong information result in a particular group being targeted...whether rightly or wrongly.
Interesting....thanks for your perspective.

I'm actually personally very concerned that this is still around when my little one arrives and I've asked all relatives to be vacinated of they wish to visit baby before 6 weeks.

I agree completely with this, there definitely is a lack of education and unfortunately for you because of the lack of education on her part, she asked you to leave, I do feel that as a business owner she should have taken your word for it once you told her.

 

[crazycatlady5]

I totally agree that she was rude and shouldn't have treated you that way so do not agree at all with how she treated you.

But i do understand her perspective as a business owner. With whooping cough going around other customers may come in and not want to stay once they hear your daughter coughing, she could be concerned that it could drive away business. Or, like pp said, with pregnant staff she could really be unsure about taking your word and not want it to spread. She doesn't know you or know if you're honest or reliable.

With that said, no excuse for how she treated you. She could have handled the situation differently.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Sorry you had to go through that