R- other peoples opinions??

[mummyoffive]

As you are aware I was a teenage parent and the 1 thing that drove me mad was the way people spoke to me as a child rather than a parent/parent to be....Do you feel that medical staff/members of the public have had negative opinions of your pregnancy/parenting due to your age? Feel free to post examples/stories.... thanksxx

 

[Tilly]

Yep, i've said this story loads lol. We are both 21 now (Bethanie is 13 months). When Bethanie was little she was quite sickly, she kept crying between feeds so my HV (nice lady) suggested that we give her an ounce or two of water just to delay her hunger a little, so we did. She was asleep downstairs with her grandparents and woke up in a fright (she was a bit sick in her sleep and the water had come out of her nose and mouth, she then got a bit bubbly and we were worried). Rang NHS direct and they got an ambulance as they are over cautious with babies - she was fine at hospital.. they said she seemed great. Asked her much we fed her so we said 130ml, but sometimes if she slept all through the night, she'd want more like 150ml.
They said they'd keep her in overnight, me and Sonny were very tired and it was like 2am, the nurse was funny with us because we said we were popping home to get something to eat and freshen up a bit (take note id been crying etc and felt tired and shitty myself). We got back v early and waited until 8am for the paediatrician, we didn't see anyone until more like 12pm.. she was funny with us "you've overfed her", "if a kid asked for more cake would you give her it, no.. so why give a baby more?" - this was all bollocks and I felt so upset that she was speaking to us like we were dumb because we were younger parents. We hadn't "overfed" her at all. After this we fed Bethanie the 100ml bottle they gave us and I asked for some more (she usually had 130ml), they said no that isn't the right amount for her age. I had to laugh to be honest, and I complained to another nurse who agreed with us completely.

Since then, i've had the odd funny look, remark. When I was pregnant and had my doctors appointment, the silly bitch looked at my mum, then me and said to me "your mum will help you" but in a funny tone, as if I was incapable and/or going to expect her to help me look after my baby 24/7.

Idiots.....

 

[Always&4ever]

I think when it comes to young parents, people are very objective, many people believe that young mums/dads are after a house, and money off the government which is not true, I'm not a teen mum but I get looked at as if I am by older people as I look younger then I am

 

[lauren-kate]

In general, people were fine about it and I didn't feel I was treated any different to any other pregnant woman. However one of my MWs was a bit nasty, and I do believe that it was an age thing. I was struggling to breastfeed and she'd tell me that I was doing everything wrong and keep rolling her eyes at me. Other than that MW though, everyone has been fine. I did expect more people to make comments, etc tbh. x

 

[anita665]

Some of how people react has nothing to do with age though. I'm not a teen mum and I've found most of the medical staff I've seen have been really good but you just seem to get the odd one (especially old midwives) who are just generally rude.

 

[xarlenex]

Ive only had one nasty experience with a man whilst I was working. I'd say he was in his 60's. It was just after New years and I was working with another women, in her early 40s. We were working and chating away when this man approached and made a joke about how we were both still hungover from new years. My collegue then laughed and said "aye maybe me, but shes sober as a judge, shes due to pop a baby soon!" and his facial expression changed and he looked to my stomach. Was nearly 7 and half month pregnant but my bump really wasnt visable under my work uniform. The he just said "oh..typical I suppose..Its because of people like you my pension is cut short, the government has to keep up with yous." I was in complete shock but the women I was working with said to him "erm, excuse me but she is at work and has a fully supportive partner in full time work too..so they work to support their family." He just made a grunting noise and said something like "Oh partner? Well theres a first for everything" and he walked away.

Nasty nasty old man. Other than that no problems or nasty comments at all. Just some people asking if it were planned, how we were gona cope etc.. I just feel those are questions they wouldnt ask to someone mid twenties having a kid.

 

[snugglemuffin]

I was not expected to be excited, I was expected to be terrified and be planning my "long days with a screaming baby"

I had a woman say to me in Morrisons that i was a disgrace.
A woman in Tesco's told me my 3 year old should be in school (he has always been big for his age and looked older) and i doubt very much she would have said the same to someone in their mid 20's.

To me it was made out as something to be dealt with as best i could. Something i would regret for the rest of my life and something that would would make my life almost unbareable. The thought that i would actually love my child and want the very best and not want to just scrape by just didn't occure to any of the medical staff i had contact with and i suppose my family were the same. I got told only about the hard bits, noone told me about the rewarding bits. The totally mind blowing pride in the tiny steps they take. It took me 3 days to realise i could cuddle my baby and he was mine to love and not just deal with.

I did have council house for 3 years while i went to college. One of the proudest moments of my life was when i handed in the keys and said i didn't need it any more and i had my own house.

I know people wanted me to be prepared but some were just nasty.

 

[jenny873]

i havent felt looked down on by midwives etc but i find that people tend to give u there hand-me-downs (e.g family friends etc) for the baby and i just pass them on to the charity shop. but i really want to say to them do u think im a bloody tramp or something! x

 

[Tilly]

i havent felt looked down on by midwives etc but i find that people tend to give u there hand-me-downs (e.g family friends etc) for the baby and i just pass them on to the charity shop. but i really want to say to them do u think im a bloody tramp or something! x

Not trying to make this into a debate, but im really sure they're just trying to help!

 

[jenny873]

lol i know, to be honest ive already give me friend who has just had a baby some babygros etc of mine because she didnt have much but my dads friend at work who ive never met gave me two bin bags jam packed with clothes lol! some of them where ok but some of them had stains all over them etc and it just made me think, would you give these to a 30+ mum-to-be x