Ramble very early days questions re: emotions

[Alpinestars]

This may turn into a ramble so apologies in advance ! I've only very recently suffered from a MC at 9weeks and I'm 35 in august DH and I are blessed with children but in my heart I never felt complete so we TTC and got our BFP in February

Although I'm completely devastated that we lost our much wanted baby, already I know I would like TTC again in the future DH and I have yet to really talk as we are both hurting but showing our pain in different ways DH is unsure if he wants to TTC again as he doesn't want to see me go through the pain if we were to MC again Luckily we are going on a fortnights holiday to Menorca very soon so we both agreed to make time on holiday to talk Whatever the outcome I know we will support each other and get through these dark days

But I have so many thoughts in my head whizzing round at the moment I know I need to take time but i find comfort from other peoples experiences

So did you know you wanted to TTC after your Loss ??
How long did you wait to actively TTC when did you feel ready ?
What were/are DH/DP feelings
Did you take supplements or have a Pre TTC plan ?
Any advice or information you would like to share?

I'm sorry, I know DH and I need to really talk, but I can't help the way I feel, three(+) months ago I wanted a child, 3 days ago I was carrying that child, now I'll never hold that child, but I'm back to three(+)months ago when I really wanted another child

Sorry for rambling
Jo
X

 

[Donch03]

Hi Hun....sorry to hear of your loss I know how hard it is emotionally after a m/c....I am just getting over an early m/c that started last Thursday I was 5+5 weeks and have been left devastated as it was a planned pregnancy. I never imagined I would feel as much agony as I do but have decided to ttc straight away. Hoping to catch an egg before the dreaded first AF after m/c so am using HPT and OPK's to try and work out when i might ovulate!

My OH is slightly concerned I may become obssesive about ttc but it has given something to focus on and I feel it's right. I truly believe my m/c had a reason but now my slate has been wiped clean and I want to get straight back into it.

Try to stay positive Hun and you will know when your ready to ttc xxxx

 

[CKJ]

So sorry for your loss

We got pg two months after coming off pill. It was a planned and much waited for bubba! I knew n DH agreed we wanted to try again straight away but just had my first AF six weeks on so didn't catch last month, however I was so emotionally wrecked I'm not surprised. I am taking pre natal vitamins n DH is taking Zinc. I'm using Opks this month, simply to learn more about my cycle.

DH has been good bless him but he doesn't really "get" what I've been feeling even though he desperately wants a baby too. He's happy to move forward n take it all as it comes - he's been making noises that he'd like some time with me NOT talking about babies n just let nature do it's thing. I agree that's the right attitude but I can't help but obsess after the MC so I'm trying to chat on here and allow DH some baby talk breathing space!!

I'd say that men and women have VERY different outlooks n that ull both come to probably the same conclusions, it'll just take a little bit to get there! We after all have a physical emptiness to fill not just an emotional one!

Xxx

 

[hollyw79]

I'm sorry for your loss hun!

I know for me~ I did know that I wanted to TTC right away.. even while I was in the hospital having a d&c~ I knew I didn't want to wait. The first month right after the d&c, I was very NTNP.. very "whatever" about it.. and I don't think I ovulated so it didn't matter. This is my first month actively trying hard to make it happen. *praying* My Dh was nervous about the pressure of TTC again but we both knew it would only get worse if we prolonged trying. He's been awesome about everything though. I agree that men and women DO have different outlooks and handle things differently. I do take supplements- so does DH. I take a prenatal, folic acid, omega 3, super b complex, royal jelly, and baby aspirin. My DH takes a multivitamin, zinc, folic acid, omega 3 and pycenogenol.

No real advice except if you need support~ these ladies are awesome!!

 

[Fizzio]

I'm so sorry your having to go through this. I had a MMC 5 weeks ago on Friday. At the time I could not see myself ever wanting to TTC again as I did not feel I could through the pain again that I was going through then. However as time has gone by, my desire to be a Mum has overidden that fear. The fear is still there but I have just had my first AF and we are going to TTC again this month. I figure that whether we start again now or wait, if it happens again it will be devastating no matter what. I'm 34 and dont want to miss out on potential baby making months.

I am slightly different to the others as I knew I wanted to have my first AF before we TTC again and I'm glad I did as I feel it has allowed my body to return to some sort of normal - although this AF is very different to my usual! We all react differently and you must do what is right for you. The support on here is amazing if you need advice, or to rant or just to share some thoughts.

My DH has been wonderful and recognises that the MC was harder for me to deal with than him. He is happy to TTC whenever I am with no pressure either way. I'm only taking pre-natal vitamins which include folic acid but now after reading the other posts if I should be taking more things

Good luck with whatever you decide and enjoy your holiday

 

[roothy]

So so sorry for your loss. I am now 6 + weeks since my ERPC. thinsg are a lot easier but at times the hurt is still there and still raw

I knew straight away I wanted to try again. We had tried to 2 yrs and I had almost given up really. Its a cliche but at least when we were going through that hell we knew that at least we coudl acheive pregnancy, Something we didnt think we could. My hubby is brill and really wants a baby. he is happy to take things as fast or as slow as I want.
Once my bleeding stopped we were effectively TTC - certainly weren't taking any precautions.
I am now doing temps / cm charting and have been 'playing' with some OPKS - not sure I have got the hang of it all though. Trying not to become too obsessive about it all - but the whole thing has changed me forever. To have been pregnant when nearly about to give up - then lose it - if I dont TTC with every fibre in me I will never forgive myself

If you feel you want to TTC straight away then thats probably the right decision for you. As you say though - you and hubby need to talk about it and be on the same page.
Hope you have a good holiday and we are all here as and when you need to talk / cry / rant etc etc