Rang fob

[whatwillbe]

Hi ladies, I don't know why I did it really, but I rang fob this morning, He says in a hostile voice " what do you want" an I didn't know what to say, so I said I needed some money for a push chair, I don't really, then he starts shouting " what you on about money ?" " it was you who wanted the baby ! " then he says he's going to tell the police vie contacted him ( he got me arrested a few months ago, just for knocking his door while he had his gf with him ) so the police told me to leave him alone, like I'm a crazy stalker, so basically he's saying it was my choice to get pregnant so my responsibility , he wanted this baby too...

Suppose I just wanted to see if there was an ounce of him that cared , if not for me then for his baby, but it seems not, I don't know why he has to be so horrible though, and him hiding behind the police makes me sick ! This man has weed growing in his flat ! ( I don't smoke it and never have ) it's just the irony of it all, sorry for my rant x

 

[Shezza84uk]

What a horrid man! Wait until baby is born and take him to court the police can't get involved then because u can then say you are catering to your child's needs.

Sending hugs xx

 

[lemontree12]

these men and il use the word loosy think that because we carry on with the pregnancy therefore we have to deal with it ourselves.
i too was like you and it took me a long time to understand what he was thinking, iv learnt that everything i thought he wouldnt do is only because i wouldnt do that to a person, i use to text my fob thinking at at leasthe care for me as a person even if he didnt love me anymore, but he didnt, its a harsh reality and i guess all the cruel stuff helped me get over him. from an outsiders point i guess dont want someone so selfsh and horrid around my beautiful innocent baby, still dont make it any easier.

hugs
xxx

 

[Ceejay123]

Is he working sweetheart? This angers me so much! Idiots that think because we didn't choose to have an abortion... it's all our responsibility?!... No! They laid with us. Argh. Men. x

 

[emeraldbaby]

I'd thank your lucky stars he doesn't want to be involved with the baby. He definitely does not sound like someone who would be safe or a good influence on a innocent child.
Move on with your life and leave him behind no strings would be my advice.
If you go after child support, be prepared for him to make demands just to spite you. So weigh things up carefully.... What's best for the child? And do you want to give him any reason to be a thorn in your flesh for years to come?

 

[whatwillbe]

these men and il use the word loosy think that because we carry on with the pregnancy therefore we have to deal with it ourselves.
i too was like you and it took me a long time to understand what he was thinking, iv learnt that everything i thought he wouldnt do is only because i wouldnt do that to a person, i use to text my fob thinking at at leasthe care for me as a person even if he didnt love me anymore, but he didnt, its a harsh reality and i guess all the cruel stuff helped me get over him. from an outsiders point i guess dont want someone so selfsh and horrid around my beautiful innocent baby, still dont make it any easier.

hugs
xxx

Thank you lemon tree, you've hit the nail on the head, this is what I was thinking, I know he doesn't love me, but god I'm carrying his child , he could just show the tiniest bit of compassion, but your right, just because we would do that ourselves doesn't mean fob would, he makes me feel like the scum of the earth and completely worthless, I agree too I don't think I'll want him around my kids or my baby x

 

[whatwillbe]

Is he working sweetheart? This angers me so much! Idiots that think because we didn't choose to have an abortion... it's all our responsibility?!... No! They laid with us. Argh. Men. x

No ceejay, he doesn't work, this sounds even worse to say but he's under the mental health, he has bipolar so he doesn't have to work, but he gets a good amount of disability benefit, so he's not "poor" , and I feel stupid because I should have known better than to get involved but I didn't know about his illness from the start, he had the cheek to tell me he only wanted a baby with me because he was Ill and I should have known that, he told me he loved me because he was Ill and I should have known that, I feel like such a fool x

 

[teal]

Awww sweetie, sending you hugs You are definitely better off without him. I know it might be hard but I'd just not bother contacting him and once your LO is born you can give his details to CSA, that way you won't have to deal with him. I'm not sure how much they'll take if he's not working but will still be something.

I gave my ex more than one chance to be involved and he was very abusive, I don't have any contact with him and he's never met my son.

xx

 

[Ceejay123]

Is he working sweetheart? This angers me so much! Idiots that think because we didn't choose to have an abortion... it's all our responsibility?!... No! They laid with us. Argh. Men. x

No ceejay, he doesn't work, this sounds even worse to say but he's under the mental health, he has bipolar so he doesn't have to work, but he gets a good amount of disability benefit, so he's not "poor" , and I feel stupid because I should have known better than to get involved but I didn't know about his illness from the start, he had the cheek to tell me he only wanted a baby with me because he was Ill and I should have known that, he told me he loved me because he was Ill and I should have known that, I feel like such a fool x

Ah right - So will you be entitled to CSA from him? Xx

 

[dustbunny]

Hi ladies, I don't know why I did it really, but I rang fob this morning, He says in a hostile voice " what do you want" an I didn't know what to say, so I said I needed some money for a push chair, I don't really, then he starts shouting " what you on about money ?" " it was you who wanted the baby ! " then he says he's going to tell the police vie contacted him ( he got me arrested a few months ago, just for knocking his door while he had his gf with him ) so the police told me to leave him alone, like I'm a crazy stalker, so basically he's saying it was my choice to get pregnant so my responsibility , he wanted this baby too...

Suppose I just wanted to see if there was an ounce of him that cared , if not for me then for his baby, but it seems not, I don't know why he has to be so horrible though, and him hiding behind the police makes me sick ! This man has weed growing in his flat ! ( I don't smoke it and never have ) it's just the irony of it all, sorry for my rant x

We have all been there whether with FOB or another ex partner, we have all at some point tried to get their attention to see if they still care. When we get the answer we didn't want then it does hurt but you have to break the cycle of contacting him, as hard as that may sound. He obviously is not interested and maybe he never will be and if so then that is fine, you will be strong enough to cope and carry on with your life with your baby. Men = a major waste of time and energy.

 

[whatwillbe]

Awww sweetie, sending you hugs You are definitely better off without him. I know it might be hard but I'd just not bother contacting him and once your LO is born you can give his details to CSA, that way you won't have to deal with him. I'm not sure how much they'll take if he's not working but will still be something.

I gave my ex more than one chance to be involved and he was very abusive, I don't have any contact with him and he's never met my son.

xx

Sorry Hun, I can't believe he's never met your lo, can't imagine how hard it's been for you, I will give the CSA his details , I don't really want anything from him but I want him to always be reminded that he has a lo who he doesn't care about x