Rant alert.

[Wtbam]

Sorry for the rant but I need to say this somewhere where I won't be judged!

Me and OH have now been TTC for nearly 4 months, but there is a big question over my fertility because I have PCOS and so far haven't ovulated even once.

At work, I am a manager in a small sales company and am in joint control of recruiting. In October last year, we employed a new lady, who is unmarried but with a long term partner. They had just bought a house together. 4 Weeks later, she told us she was 8 weeks pregnant, and therefore was already pregnant at her interview.

Whether or not she did it on purpose, that's by the by.

The thing I need to rant about is the fact that now she has started showing, all day she walks around stroking her stomach lovingly but moaning about how hard pregnancy is and how she never expected it to all be so difficult.

I find I can ignore this most of the time, but I get to a certain level of tolerance when I can take it no more!! She comes and sits next to me, and then strokes her stomach constantly like she is protective of it. I know it's an exciting time for her and I wouldn't want to take that away but the jealousy is killing me. I so desperately want a baby and then I have to sit and watch that all day.

Then she starts talking about all the things she is looking forward to when the baby is born, and then moans about how hard it is. She even said one day she regretted being pregnant! And I am sat there thinking about how I will NEVER moan about anything because I would be so grateful just to be pregnant!

Sorry I know this is a self indulgent moan but I need to say it to someone and I know you girls will understand..... #rantover

 

[purplecupcake]

Rant away, girl. Pregnant women have always and will always irritate the fuck out of me! I made it my goal to NOT be one of the annoying ones. I have unfriended people on Facebook because I couldn't stand the constant updates and photos. I hadn't even stated TTC at that point, it's just annoying as fuck! I only talk about it if someone asks me about it.

Being pregnant is amazing, BUT it's not like it takes over your entire life(well, at least it SHOULDN'T). Life goes on as usual. I'm sorry she's being obnoxious and making it the focal point of her entire existence.

 

[BabyCleo]

I had a friend on facebook who literally counted down the hours to her induction through her fb status. It would be "36 hours..." "35 hours" and this went on until she finally put her status as "going in now" "being sent home"

like come the f*ck on. YOUR HAVING A BABY GET OFF FACEBOOK!!!!! It only got worse from there, making up poetic little speeches and such about her baby. Its not just you hun. I get annoyed by it too, sometimes i swear people do it on purpose.

 

[mrshan]

Happily I don't have any annoying FB friends like that... good tips on how to not be insufferable on this thread!

Sorry your coworker is so awful, wtbam. Good idea to vent here- saying anything to a girl like that would probably just end in disaster.

 

[BabyCleo]

Do you think she was sneaky when she applied for the job? I get that you cant discriminate if someone is pregnant, but for someone who hid it and is now going on about it seems kinda weird. It would have made more sense if she announced it at the 12 week mark, as thats more the norm to make sure the pregnancy is fine/smooth sailing.

 

[purplecupcake]

Do you think she was sneaky when she applied for the job? I get that you cant discriminate if someone is pregnant, but for someone who hid it and is now going on about it seems kinda weird. It would have made more sense if she announced it at the 12 week mark, as thats more the norm to make sure the pregnancy is fine/smooth sailing.

Whether I was 8 weeks or 35 weeks, I would never announce that I was pregnant during a job interview. It's not their business. Although discrimination is illegal, they can still refuse to hire you and claim that you weren't a good fit for other reasons. I don't think there is anything sneaky about not announcing a pregnancy to a prospective employer.

 

[Joccy]

Hey Wtbam! Does the lady know you are TTC? Is she rubbing your face in it or does she not have a clue you are trying? Either way it stinks. I would just avoid her if she comes near me lol.

 

[tuesdaysbaby]

Rant away, girl. Pregnant women have always and will always irritate the fuck out of me! I made it my goal to NOT be one of the annoying ones. I have unfriended people on Facebook because I couldn't stand the constant updates and photos. I hadn't even stated TTC at that point, it's just annoying as fuck! I only talk about it if someone asks me about it.

Being pregnant is amazing, BUT it's not like it takes over your entire life(well, at least it SHOULDN'T). Life goes on as usual. I'm sorry she's being obnoxious and making it the focal point of her entire existence.

You sound like someone I would want to be friends with IRL! Haha. Your post made me laugh, I love it!

It is so true. All of it. My sister made it seem like she was the first and only pregnant person on the planet. Well, don't ya know?! She wasn't! Funny that. When I get pregnant I will try so very hard to remember all of this… firstly, how hard it is to get pregnant and secondly, how not to annoy an entire population.

 

[Wtbam]

Do you think she was sneaky when she applied for the job? I get that you cant discriminate if someone is pregnant, but for someone who hid it and is now going on about it seems kinda weird. It would have made more sense if she announced it at the 12 week mark, as thats more the norm to make sure the pregnancy is fine/smooth sailing.

Whether I was 8 weeks or 35 weeks, I would never announce that I was pregnant during a job interview. It's not their business. Although discrimination is illegal, they can still refuse to hire you and claim that you weren't a good fit for other reasons. I don't think there is anything sneaky about not announcing a pregnancy to a prospective employer.

I understand what you are saying, but in our situation, her taking the job knowing she was already pregnant is going to have a HUGE impact on our business. We are a small business anyway with only a few people working for us. To have to pay to find/employ and train another person for the time she is away on maternity leave is going to have a very big impact on our business.

You can say it isn't sneaky, but at the interview I made it clear that her commitment to the job is important as we were looking for someone to progress through the business, and stay with us when we grow. She told us she was looking to enhance her career and nothing would get in the way of that, all the time knowing she was going to be going off for a year in 7 or so months. If she had been more honest, we could have employed someone who actually DID want to progress with the company.

In my opinion, she only took the job to claim the benefits that come with it, for pregnant women. But that's a whole other bug bear! It wouldn't be an issue if we were a big company who could support it, but alas, we are not. (I don't even want to think about what happens if I get lucky enough to get my BFP, but that is slightly different in that I am more flexible and can work from home if I need to).

She doesn't know I am TTC which I think makes it worse, because maybe if she did she would be a little more considerate!

 

[Loo89]

Ah sorry to hear that Wtbam. I think sometimes pregnant ladies become a little self-centred.

It's hard when someone who became pregnant by accident starts moaning about how sick they are and how achy etc, yeah okay, you might be, but some of us would give anything to feel like that for the reasons you do. They don't know what it feels like to TRY to conceive.

It's also hard when someone who has been trying for years gets pregnant, because it's such a big deal to them that nothing else really matters for a while.

I've experienced being around both of these types of pregnant ladies while we were WTT, and sometimes you have to just distance yourself for your own sake. In your case, I guess if she didn't moan so much you might find it easier to be happy for her (or at least not have it upset you), so hopefully when she gets into second trimester she may simmer down a bit.

 

[purplecupcake]

Do you think she was sneaky when she applied for the job? I get that you cant discriminate if someone is pregnant, but for someone who hid it and is now going on about it seems kinda weird. It would have made more sense if she announced it at the 12 week mark, as thats more the norm to make sure the pregnancy is fine/smooth sailing.

Whether I was 8 weeks or 35 weeks, I would never announce that I was pregnant during a job interview. It's not their business. Although discrimination is illegal, they can still refuse to hire you and claim that you weren't a good fit for other reasons. I don't think there is anything sneaky about not announcing a pregnancy to a prospective employer.

I understand what you are saying, but in our situation, her taking the job knowing she was already pregnant is going to have a HUGE impact on our business. We are a small business anyway with only a few people working for us. To have to pay to find/employ and train another person for the time she is away on maternity leave is going to have a very big impact on our business.

You can say it isn't sneaky, but at the interview I made it clear that her commitment to the job is important as we were looking for someone to progress through the business, and stay with us when we grow. She told us she was looking to enhance her career and nothing would get in the way of that, all the time knowing she was going to be going off for a year in 7 or so months. If she had been more honest, we could have employed someone who actually DID want to progress with the company.

In my opinion, she only took the job to claim the benefits that come with it, for pregnant women. But that's a whole other bug bear! It wouldn't be an issue if we were a big company who could support it, but alas, we are not. (I don't even want to think about what happens if I get lucky enough to get my BFP, but that is slightly different in that I am more flexible and can work from home if I need to).

She doesn't know I am TTC which I think makes it worse, because maybe if she did she would be a little more considerate!

I think you're being presumptuous about her motives. She may truly want to make this her career path, and she shouldn't have to put that on hold because she got pregnant. In fact, some pregnant women need work more than others! Babies are expensive, and any responsible mom to be will want to have as much financial stability as possible before baby comes. She is entitled to that maternity leave just as anyone else, and who is to say she won't come back and continue to be a valuable asset to the company? It's very possible she didn't even know she was pregnant when she got the job. I have heard of many people not finding out until 8 weeks or more. I just think you should give her the benefit of the doubt here and not make assumptions just because she's obnoxious.

And for the record...I am so jealous of other countries' maternity leave times! I think I will get 6 weeks max!