Rant: insensitive comments by my own pregnant sister!

[Kyliem87]

Ok, so I have an older sister who is 24 (25 in December) and has a 4 year old. She seriously just doesn't think AT ALL when it comes to making comments regarding my pregnancy. She is also about 18weeks pregnant herself. So here's a couple of things she's said that have REALLY bothered me and I want ti get them off my chest (as she can do no wrong in the eyes of my parents and I'm supposed to 'ignore' them)

1)
I told her I had to go back after my 20 week anomaly scan as my daughter was being a tinker and had her hands up by her face the WHOLE 40-50mins we were in the scan room lol. Because of this the tech said she could only see 70% of her nostrils/upper lip and although all looked fine she said she wouldn't be doing her job properly if she had written on my records that she had seen in all as there was a shadow off her wrist. After telling my sister this, this was the response I got:- "well you know, a cleft palate/lip isn't the end of the world these days they can do fantastic facial surgery on babies" ehm really and who the fuck are you bare in mind with my niece they couldn't see her heart on THREE separate scans and she had to have a fourth with a consultant...if it happens again I'm going to say "wouldn't worry...they do fab open heart surgery these days a bad heart is nothing" (I won't but it's the same principal!)

2) I have a fair size bump...I'm not a skinny girl but I always had a flat tummy off going to the gym...I carry my weight in my hips and legs so it's been even more noticeable. She came to pick my niece up the other day and goes "wow your MASSIVE! Your going to have a HUGE baby" again...who the fuck does she think she is?! Ok my niece weighed 5lb 6oz but my sister is pretty darn fat and flabby! I don't say things to her like "wow who ate all the pies, your looking mighty fat these days" so what gives her the right to say my bumps too big!

There's a few other little things that just bug me and I'd have thought that seeing how she's been pregnant before and is now she would be a LITTLE more sensitive about mine! When I said to my mam and dad I was upset I got 'well just ignore her or don't speak to her' if that was me saying those things to her I'd be furiously told off! Having a bad moment and wanted to let off steam

Thanks if you read this lol

 

[bumphenders]

I didn't want to R&R but I would try not to let her comments get to you.

I have extremely bad tiredness from the beginning up until about 2weeks ago, and my cousin who has a 5 month old was horrible to me about it, just saying I was lazy and using being pregnant as an excuse to do nothing etc. I just don't think some people think before they speak.

Keep smiling, and think, at the end of all this, you will have a beautiful baby girl!

 

[efairie]

some people sister or not just do not think before they speak

 

[Jaylynne]

Ugh she's just being a bitch. I guess siblings think they can get away with it. I love how she jumped to the conclusion that your LO had cleft palate when the tech simply couldn't see to write off the possibility.

 

[bumphenders]

Just realised you're from Sunderland too

Are you having LO at sunderland Hospital??

 

[lalitas charm]

Ah family know just the right buttons to wind you up sometimes dont they!! If your sis makes another comment about how you're having a big baby just say, "yeah I hope so, should mean it's good and healthy!". I try to always turn snide comments into a compliment and thank the person as it usually drives them nuts lol.

As for the cleft palate comment, just say"yeah I know its great to know that, but sure we'll cross that bridge when and if we come to it, I am not worried at this point" and smile sweetly.

In the end one of her comments will trip her up!

 

[Kyliem87]

Just realised you're from Sunderland too

Are you having LO at sunderland Hospital??

Aww a fellow northerner

I'm at South Tyneside but my sister is Sunderland (lol mainly cause we live equally as close to both but I've had major surgery when I was 9 at South Tyneside so I've generally just been seen there for most things) I'm assuming your at Sunderland?

 

[Kyliem87]

I'm normally quite good at just ignoring people and wish it was a stranger as I'd never have to see the again lol so smile, laugh it off and walk away but she just makes me grr! lol usually I'm not one to hold back my tongue but don't think it'd help...I usually go upstairs and sob to my OH who makes me feel better but he ain't here today

 

[Charlie_x]

Just wanted to offer you a hug {{hugs}} Sorry your sis is being a bitch she should know better being pregnant too!!! I bet she wouldnt like it if you did it to her x

 

[zizii]

Oh just tell her to hush up.

And seriously i do not like rude comments about baby's. How disgusting to say things like oh they do plastic surgery on babies. I mean she is meant to be your sister grrrrrrrrrrrrr let me at her!!! I cannot STAND people like that.

My husbands granny is a loud mouth says what she likes. I made a thread about her once and her 'straightness' of i hope you have a boy like your SIL and expected me to see Ameen after that. Well NO. All we want is a healthy baby so screw you granny!!

Please don't ignore your sister, things like her comments are hurtful and are attacking an unborn child. Next time i suggest you just tell her that she is meant to be your sister, supportive and loving not a bitch. If you wanted someone to bitch about you and make you feel like crap i'm sure there is someone else in the world to do that but not your own sister!!

grrrrrrrrrr i am angry.

ergh!

 

[bumphenders]

Ahhh okay! Yeah I'm at Sunderland

 

[Kyliem87]

Zizii - thank you. I think I will if she makes any more remarks cause she is upsetting. I replied with 'no one said anything about a cleft lip or palate so what you on about her wrists were causing a shadow and the tech aired on the side of caution' and she just said "well I'm just saying there are worse things it could be" I'm sure there are but no one brought it up so don't put it in my mind! (21 week scan showed she is just fine like I knew) I just expect it from strangers but not from her when she should know the worries herself

 

[milf2be]

tbh i dont see what shes said thats so bad? with regard to the cleft palate, maybe she was trust trying to reassure you that if even if your baby does have it that it can be corrected pretty easily. i dont think its in the same league as something wrong with the heart and i dont think you should compare it to that.
as for the other comment...you get that a lot in pregnancy. again i dont think its anything to find offensive, its just a general comment you get with pregnancy. again i think it would be bang out of order and not in the same league to call her fat.
i think its just pregnancy hormones tbh...sorry if that sounds harsh, but its my honest opinion x

 

[Kyliem87]

tbh i dont see what shes said thats so bad? with regard to the cleft palate, maybe she was trust trying to reassure you that if even if your baby does have it that it can be corrected pretty easily. i dont think its in the same league as something wrong with the heart and i dont think you should compare it to that.
as for the other comment...you get that a lot in pregnancy. again i dont think its anything to find offensive, its just a general comment you get with pregnancy. again i think it would be bang out of order and not in the same league to call her fat.
i think its just pregnancy hormones tbh...sorry if that sounds harsh, but its my honest opinion x

Fair enough but the point is she is meant to be my sister. There was no mention of a cleft palate so why bring it in to my mind? As though there aren't enough worries I have already! She could have been a bit more sensitive in my opinion and as it upset me...it matters. It is the same kind of thing as I didn't feel the need to mention she could have a hole in her heart (you know...I'm being sisterly and telling her what MIGHT be so she can prepare) and as I said I wouldn't cause I'm not being a bitch being why I came here to rant and not actually say it! Also it is she could have said 'eee look at your bump' not inform me that my baby will be HUGE as I am MASSIVE. I couldn't care if I bumped in to say you in the street and you said I was huge...I'll never see you again but she knows struggling having a massive tummy as I'd been on a diet and gym and was back to being slender so her comments hurt more than if she was a no body.

 

[milf2be]

tbh i dont see what shes said thats so bad? with regard to the cleft palate, maybe she was trust trying to reassure you that if even if your baby does have it that it can be corrected pretty easily. i dont think its in the same league as something wrong with the heart and i dont think you should compare it to that.
as for the other comment...you get that a lot in pregnancy. again i dont think its anything to find offensive, its just a general comment you get with pregnancy. again i think it would be bang out of order and not in the same league to call her fat.
i think its just pregnancy hormones tbh...sorry if that sounds harsh, but its my honest opinion x

Fair enough but the point is she is meant to be my sister. There was no mention of a cleft palate so why bring it in to my mind? As though there aren't enough worries I have already! She could have been a bit more sensitive in my opinion and as it upset me...it matters. It is the same kind of thing as I didn't feel the need to mention she could have a hole in her heart (you know...I'm being sisterly and telling her what MIGHT be so she can prepare) and as I said I wouldn't cause I'm not being a bitch being why I came here to rant and not actually say it! Also it is she could have said 'eee look at your bump' not inform me that my baby will be HUGE as I am MASSIVE. I couldn't care if I bumped in to say you in the street and you said I was huge...I'll never see you again but she knows struggling having a massive tummy as I'd been on a diet and gym and was back to being slender so her comments hurt more than if she was a no body.

What I'm saying is don't let it ruin your relationship with your sister over something that was probably not said ouit of malace.pregnancy hormones to get the better of you and small things get blown out of proportion.

 

[Kyliem87]

Aw I won't that's why I've ranted here and not said those things to her. I wouldn't say those things so didn't expect them said to me from her I'd like a little thought were my own family is concerned but I deff won't let it get between us where I wouldn't speak to her etc xx

Edited: also the point about the cleft palate/lip was irritating as I EXPLAINED it was cause of where my baby kept her hands...it was nothing the tech had SEEN I said the tech said 'it looks fine and I'm almost 100% sure it's fine it's just she won't move her hands and the wrists cast a shadow so I'd rather have you back before I tick it off' lo and behold...4 days later, rescan showed it perfectly not a cleft in sight (according to the us and I am well aware things aren't always 100%) so it didn't need mentioned...had I said 'I need to go back the tech thinks there's something wrong with her nostrils/upper lip' then her comment would have been FINE as yes...it's reassuring they can do amazing things and it isn't the 'worst' thing ever. Til that moment...no comment was needed was why it upset me

 

[milf2be]

Aw I won't that's why I've ranted here and not said those things to her. I wouldn't say those things so didn't expect them said to me from her I'd like a little thought were my own family is concerned but I deff won't let it get between us where I wouldn't speak to her etc xx

Edited: also the point about the cleft palate/lip was irritating as I EXPLAINED it was cause of where my baby kept her hands...it was nothing the tech had SEEN I said the tech said 'it looks fine and I'm almost 100% sure it's fine it's just she won't move her hands and the wrists cast a shadow so I'd rather have you back before I tick it off' lo and behold...4 days later, rescan showed it perfectly not a cleft in sight (according to the us and I am well aware things aren't always 100%) so it didn't need mentioned...had I said 'I need to go back the tech thinks there's something wrong with her nostrils/upper lip' then her comment would have been FINE as yes...it's reassuring they can do amazing things and it isn't the 'worst' thing ever. Til that moment...no comment was needed was why it upset me

glad everything was ok in the end